Bipolar Check-in #82

JaneOnceMore · Sep 21, 2024 at 03:55 PM

@Blue_Bird:

Thanks for sharing that you feel the same way about haircuts as i do. There's this old idea that women LIKE to go to the 'beauty salon' but it's not true for many of us.

@Nammu:

Thanks for sharing about the virtues of being boring! I feel the same way. Definitely a balancing act, but as i get older i appreciate peace, quiet, and privacy more and more.

Moose72 · Sep 21, 2024 at 04:30 PM

It’s hard waiting for my dna test results! I feel good on my current med but who know what category it’s in. I still wonder why I have to come in in 3 1/2 weeks instead of when my pnp gets the genesight results in less than 2.

Crazy Hitch · Sep 21, 2024 at 04:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Sorry that happened, were you able to get ahold of her and find out what happened?

I will message her on Monday and ask …

Blue_Bird · Sep 21, 2024 at 09:23 PM

Turns out my sister has a spider infestation in her apartment building and the exterminator is there so she’s coming over tonight to spend the night with me, should be fun having company

HALLIEBETH87 · Sep 21, 2024 at 09:27 PM

omg a spider infestation is m worst nightmare! have fun with her!

Blue_Bird · Sep 21, 2024 at 09:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HALLIEBETH87

omg a spider infestation is m worst nightmare! have fun with her!

Yes mine too I’d be terrified. Thanks we should have fun!

BeyondtheRainbow · Sep 21, 2024 at 10:13 PM

Welcome back @MuddyBoots ! It's good to see you looking like you feel better. I'm glad you had a good pdoc while IP.

June08 · Sep 21, 2024 at 10:13 PM

Good to see you @MuddyBoots

Even though I don't need another one, I treated myself to a new water bottle today. I don't like shopping for much, but I absolutely love getting a new water bottle or tumbler. It helped me feel a little happiness amidst all this depression.

I got myself to do laundry, tidy up my bathroom, and sweep/mop. Tomorrow, I need to grocery shopping and lesson plan.

Mountaindewed · Sep 21, 2024 at 10:16 PM

I fell asleep from about 4:30 this afternoon to 8:30 tonight. I was so tired. I feel better now. I ate a protein brownie when I got up and I am listening to music. I listened to that song that song about the night of the 21st of September.

BeyondtheRainbow · Sep 21, 2024 at 10:21 PM

Big day tomorrow. We have the inspection on the new house so we're going to go look at it. I'll be so glad to see it for myself instead of the weird angle photos the realtors take to make things look bigger.

I really hope I like it because I'm stuck there anyway.

So far I've had 2 doses of PRN Seroquel and am going to take more at midnight. I have to get up at 7:30 to get ready to leave. That's really early for me.

Today I did laundry that piled up while I had COVID and then started working my way through a file box. It's mostly tax papers that I no longer need to keep since I'm beyond the 7 year mark. There's also good stuff that makes me smile like my letter telling me I was officially licensed as an occupational therapist in the state of _________. Shredding is going to take more than one movie.

I can't believe I'm preparing to move from here. I'll be fine in the new place, it's just strange.

My therapist is back in 9 days! He's going to be mad at me for skipping 4 weeks (or he'll think I don't need to see him as often and the minute that's not true. I hope I can get him to understand).

Scooter9 · Sep 22, 2024 at 12:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Practiced violin, my next lesson is a week from today on Saturday the 28th. I need to buy some new rosin. I think in about 3 months I'm gonna change my strings. I have a set of insanely good quality strings my ex boyfriend (we're still friends and still talk) got me for a gift at some point I haven't used yet because my current strings were still okay, it takes like 6 months of regular playing for strings needing to be changed. So in I'd say 3 months I'll need to change mine to that really nice set. Interested to see how they sound when I do, they're some of the best. They're $75 for a set. There's even better ones you can get that are even more expensive. But those are considered standard good quality. The ones I have on my violin now cost about $20 for the set. If I like the new ones I might stick to them. $75 every six months to replace them isn't that bad I guess. Idk I'm kind of tempted to change them now

Working on several scales right now and still working on the game of Thrones theme song.

Anyway, I also got on the treadmill for 30 minutes. And watched the new version of the horror movie Candyman, it was really good.

The new strings will probably sound better, but you'll have to tune them quite a bit before they sound right.

I played string bass and never liked tuning it. I enjoyed learning how to play but I didn't like reading sheet music, I usually tried to memorize the music. That only gets you so far though, once the music gets long and complicated then you gotta read the sheet music.

You get different types of rosin too, so maybe look into that as your playing improves. I remember that I used to like a purple colored rosin because it was more grippy and was good for the lower notes, but that was 40 years ago so I'm sure things have changed

Scooter9 · Sep 22, 2024 at 12:13 AM

I'm still feeling pretty low.

I really have to do things this week and I'm not sure how I'll be able to do them. I guess I'll have to grind it out, as my kids would say.

I'm finding that my family just doesn't understand the variability of bipolar and doesn't appreciate the energy needed to appear normal when in reality I feel awful.

I've been living with this disorder for more than 20 years, you'd think that they'd have at least a basic understanding at this point. But, no, they do not and advice like ' drink more water' isn't helpful.

Blue_Bird · Sep 22, 2024 at 06:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scooter9

The new strings will probably sound better, but you'll have to tune them quite a bit before they sound right.

I played string bass and never liked tuning it. I enjoyed learning how to play but I didn't like reading sheet music, I usually tried to memorize the music. That only gets you so far though, once the music gets long and complicated then you gotta read the sheet music.

You get different types of rosin too, so maybe look into that as your playing improves. I remember that I used to like a purple colored rosin because it was more grippy and was good for the lower notes, but that was 40 years ago so I'm sure things have changed

Right now I’m trying to get in the habit of counting off and staying at a steady beat. I have no trouble reading/following sheet music , it’s the time signatures that throw me off. I end up playing too fast or too slow or playing certain notes for the wrong length of time. I really need to work on using a metronome to lock into timing things right

I like the darker rosin better as well! It’s good

Blue_Bird · Sep 22, 2024 at 06:46 AM

Had a good time with my sister. She got me some fried chicken and Mac and cheese last night from a takeout place near here, it was really good. She gave me a blanket, some press on nails, and this strawberry fig jam from the farmers market

Mountaindewed · Sep 22, 2024 at 07:50 AM

I feel good this morning. I slept a lot last night from about 11 to 5 after sleeping from 4:30 to 8:30PM yesterday, and I ate a good breakfast. I just got done organzing my freezer. My moods and anxiety are just overall better then they were yesterday. And so is my stomach. I think a lot of the protein bars and drinks I eat upset my stomach. Today I had a couple tablespoons of maple butter on 2 pieces of oat wheat bread and a banana for breakfast. And some Starbucks pumpkin spice latte I got from the grocery store.

My headphones worked fine all night and this morning.

Blue_Bird · Sep 22, 2024 at 07:57 AM

I only slept 4 hours. Which makes sense considering the excitement of my sister being over. We were up really late, till like after 1 in the morning then she got up around 7am and went back home.

I just took a shower. It’s only 9am right now. I feel good. Think today’s just gonna be a do whatever I want day. Not getting on the treadmill I did like 4 days in a row so I need a rest day. It’s Sunday. I think I’ll make Sundays my default rest days. Not sure if I’m practicing violin or not. Might take a rest day from that as well. Just lay around watch movies and relax probably. And read

Blueberrybook · Sep 22, 2024 at 10:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scooter9

I'm still feeling pretty low.

I really have to do things this week and I'm not sure how I'll be able to do them. I guess I'll have to grind it out, as my kids would say.

I'm finding that my family just doesn't understand the variability of bipolar and doesn't appreciate the energy needed to appear normal when in reality I feel awful.

I've been living with this disorder for more than 20 years, you'd think that they'd have at least a basic understanding at this point. But, no, they do not and advice like ' drink more water' isn't helpful.

I had a similar situation with my husband just not understanding bipolar even after severe manic & psychotic episodes. IDK, the only thing that seemed to help him was at one point he took classes to certify as a high school teacher and there was a mental health class with workshops that demonstrated aspects of bipolar like what racing thoughts were like what mania was like and I think an input of info on depression, anxiety, panic disorder, ADHD, etc. and somehow by some miracle, he actually seemed to get it and he seemed to get it even more when he had students diagnosed with various disorders who would confide in him. After that, he suddenly seemed to become more open to understanding what bipolar is like and that I actually do need to be on meds (well once I got on the right meds he saw the overspending decrease drastically, which was one of his big concerns and which he did not understand). But I got married in my mid-20s, and I was around 40 years old before he started to become more understanding. For me, it really was a miracle that he seemed to accept my diagnoses, but yeah, not having family understand is awful

Blueberrybook · Sep 22, 2024 at 10:32 AM

For some reason last night, I had trouble falling asleep. I tossed and turned for 2 hr. after having read about 30, 45 min. and finally ended up taking another trazodone, which trazodone works about 50/50 for possibly getting me to sleep, but thankfully it worked last night. As a result though, I woke up feeling hungover which is never much fun.

I pushed myself to exercise and it was okay once I got started but just getting started was HARD this morning, one of those mornings where I wished I could have a cup or 2 of coffee before going out walking & jogging, but if I do that I have to go to the bathroom so bad and the park restrooms are not open so early.

I had a busy morning after that - showered, had breakfast, folded laundry, brought in & put away a large grocery delivery, gased up the car & stopped at the pharmacy. I really wish the pipeline fire had not shut down the road to get from the pharmacy to Starbucks because I really could have used Starbucks with an extra shot this morning!

Hope everyone has a great Sunday!

Moose72 · Sep 22, 2024 at 11:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HALLIEBETH87

omg a spider infestation is m worst nightmare! have fun with her!

Mine too!!

Blue_Bird · Sep 22, 2024 at 11:44 AM

The tiredness is really hitting me now. I keep trying to watch shows and do stuff and then feel like I'm about to fall asleep but it's daytime so even if I were to lay there for hours trying to sleep even if I am super exhausted it wouldn't work because that's just how my body is. I would love a nap right now.

Well I guess I'm gonna make some coffee and try to watch the last two episodes of Supernatural in season 1. I feel kind of paranoid, in that I am afraid if I take my headphones off I'll hear random people outside talking about me. And paranoid about various other things as well.

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Bipolar Check-in #82

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Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Middle Earth Posts: 37,517 (SuperPoster!) 11 15.1k hugs given	Sep 21, 2024 at 09:23 PM #624 Turns out my sister has a spider infestation in her apartment building and the exterminator is there so she’s coming over tonight to spend the night with me, should be fun having company __________________ “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi

HALLIEBETH87 Legendary Member Since Oct 2004 Location: usa Posts: 11,613 20 2,808 hugs given	Sep 21, 2024 at 09:27 PM #625 omg a spider infestation is m worst nightmare! have fun with her! __________________ schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety d/o haldol, prazosin, risperdal and prn klonopin and helpful cogentin

BeyondtheRainbow Wise Elder Member Since Apr 2015 Location: US Posts: 9,667 (SuperPoster!) 9 11.9k hugs given	Sep 21, 2024 at 10:13 PM #627 Welcome back @MuddyBoots ! It's good to see you looking like you feel better. I'm glad you had a good pdoc while IP. __________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD. Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1600 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 2 mg clonazepam., 75 mg Seroquel and 12.5 mg PRNx2 daily

Mountaindewed Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2016 Location: Where the sidewalk ends Posts: 38,821 (SuperPoster!) 8 9,774 hugs given	Sep 21, 2024 at 10:16 PM #629 I fell asleep from about 4:30 this afternoon to 8:30 tonight. I was so tired. I feel better now. I ate a protein brownie when I got up and I am listening to music. I listened to that song that song about the night of the 21st of September. __________________ I'm Blue