Bipolar Check-in #82

Yep. They won’t accept her submissions of her birth certificate and marriage license without a code, no information on where she’s supposed to get this code! I say she should sue them.

Vraylar has not helped. I bought two pair of jeans from the Salvation Army today as my old jeans are all too small. I also got Tim Hortons this morning.

I’m afraid this is the start of TD and it will be like it was in California back in June.

I've developed a low grade fever of 99.3 and my stomach hurts like a *****. I also have a headache and muscle aches and fatigue. No sore throat or loss of taste or smell or cough. So covid was negative. I do have some post nasal drip. I messaged my GI just to make sure I don't have to worry about sepsis or something from the stomach pain. I know I've had the cyst issues too. But idk. I just cleared a buch of mucus out of my throat.

I took Tylenol PM instead of my melatonin and it helped my physical stuff and anxiety too. Its just Tylenol and the stuff used in antihistamines. Mainly Benadryl. So it wasn't a big deal.

My one close neighbor and i took my dog in for her monthly nail trim and it went smoothly. I was really pleased as last time it was a nightmare. I took her to a new place and i think i'm gonna stick with it. The groomer was really pleasant, positive, and professional.

Spending time in nature is supposed to be good for increasing happiness so i took my dog out for 90 minutes today and really tried to focus on the experience. I enjoyed it.

But here at home i've had trouble with boredom. It's really frustrating. My dog is driving me crazy because she won't go potty. I take her out but she doesn't do anything. I'm full of aches and pains from all the extra activity.

Hope everyone is doing as well as can be expected!

Jane, is your old doggy drinking enough? I know for people when they get old they don’t drink enough.

Had a phone call from the workers comp company. She was asking me a few questions about my difficult class. I found it difficult reliving the trauma.

She said she'll email me the outcome.

Please pray my case gets accepted.

Ive been testy according to my psychologist. he says im not acting like myself. ugh. why now? he says im definetely still manic. i see new pdoc oct 4. so far the decrease in celexa hasnt helped at all. usually without a low dose i get depressed like suicidal depressed. not this time. im still mad at my husband trying to be controlling with me. then my psy d says oh well with the way you are behaving i suspect its valid he aksed if youre taking your meds lately. UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dont **** with me when im like this people. i will go the **** off like i did the other night with Ben. psy d says i need to be taking my klonopin. it jsut mkaes me so tired. ill try it tomorrow

I don't want to throw in the towel yet. I'm letting my studies slip. As I'm overwhelmed and my head is chaotic. I can't even focus on the dog and the kid right. I just saw pdoc yesterday. I feel ashamed at how unwell I'm doing. This has to work out. I can't give up.

I am beginning to think I am just not to have things go easily right now. Last week the temp therapist who hasn't been so good was on vacation and I didn't get scheduled for this week. Which turns out to be fine because I have either COVID or influenza and would not be going to a session anyway since I have no voice and am contagious. So when I see her next week it will be 3 weeks since I saw anyone and I doubt she'll help much since she hasn't up to now.

My pdoc promised to be there for me and said she'd be here the whole time I was going through this no real therapist time. Then I found out she was on vacation for 2 weeks (really 2.5 weeks). She gets back next Wednesday and I was supposed to see her Friday. Then today I got a call that she has a meeting that day and her secretary can't re-schedule me but when she's back the secretary will see if she has any openings (she has some slots she guards carefully so we'll see if one opens for me or if she just has me wait until October. In 21 years of seeing her she's cancelled about 3 times and 2 of those were because she had surgery. Too bad this time fell when it did.

My real therapist will be back in 3 weeks. I'm beginning to think that's going to be the next time someone actually supports me. I mean my mom does but not the same. And none of it helps that I'm going stir crazy. I'm exhausted from whatever I have but I can't sleep. I read COVID can cause insomnia. I'm just going to pile on the PRNs. I really need to sleep. I'm achy and that isn't helping. I'm taking Advil and tylenol alternating every 2 hours but I'm still achy and feverish. Yuck.

I'm sorry for complaining. This is just a crappy week. I miss my therapist and now I miss my pdoc. And while I'm trying to be humorous about it I do feel someone abandoned.


2 weeks and 6 days...

@JaneOnceMore Could your dog have a UTI? That can make them feel like they have to go over and over and then nothing happens.

Might be a good idea to have a vet look at her, especially since she's older.

My worker’s compensation claim for depression and anxiety has been approved!!!

Woohooooo!!!!!!

N3 and his gf and I went out for Korean/American food yesterday . N3 was driving and we pulled into the Salvation Army. I found the plus sized jeans rack and picked out four pair and went to try them on. One pair was too long and one pair was too tight. I got the other two and one was half off so I only ended up paying $4 for them and $7 for the other. Now I have something to wear when the cooler days come. I knew I'd gained weight but at least I only went up one size. I'm glad because I really had no long pants. Eating out everyday adds up- in pounds and dollars- plus the risperdal really adds the pounds.

Congrats!!

So what does that mean? Do you get time off work or just don't have to teach the year 8 students anymore?

Whatever it means congratulations!

Hope your daughter will be well soon!

I am well again!

I've just been feeling sick as of late. And I had horrible nightmares last night about the negative entity and I don't know why because I actually took my full dose of seroquel before bed. I was all paranoid and ****. I don't know. I'm not doing well. 😞 Husband read online that you shouldn't scratch flea bites because you can get secondary infections.... maybe that's why I've been feeling so sick. I don't know.

@Crazy Hitch

Congrats on the workers comp! That's awesome! What a relief!

I woke up way too early, and I am feeling it now. I would drink coffee, but that actually puts me to sleep so that's a no-go there. I just feel so mentally and emotionally exhausted. I am pushing myself to work today - that payment really hurts. I am just so lost as to what I am supposed to be doing. Therapy was SO hard yesterday; I was totally disorganized and all over the place, but my T was very patient with me.

I am pushing through and staying positive. Remembering to take an inventory of all I have to be grateful for and how far I've come. I refuse to feel sorry for myself, fall into depression or ask for more medicine. Screw all that. I am a fighter and I have always been and I am going to fight my way through this. It's mind over matter and after everything I have been through, I know that healing comes from within and I need to keep fighting those demons that tell us all the bad things. They cannot win!!

Hugs for everyone that needs it this morning I hope everyone has a fantastic Wednesday!!

I’m tired. I was up for 2 or 3 hours in the middle of the night last night. Finally slept a few hours but got up at 7 and I’m still tired.

How long ago did you decrease the Celexa? It may stay in your system a week or so before it adapts to the lower dose. Or perhaps you need to lower it again. Really sounds like you need to plead with your pdoc for some sort of med adjustment or maybe start considering IP? You don't want to damage your relationship with your H.