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  #1  
Old Sep 05, 2024, 04:09 PM
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MuddyBoots MuddyBoots is offline
Where am I?
 
Member Since: Sep 2020
Location: Live Free or Die!
Posts: 7,105
I mean, I have the baseline passive SI, and then the BPD really intense out of nowhere thoughts and plans that I only act on like 30% of the time, and BP depression which is ok to manage, but mixed needs to be fixed ASAP or someoone will get hurt.

I don't even know where I am right now.
__________________
"I don't know what I'm looking for."
"Why not?"
"Because...because...I think it might be because if I knew I wouldn't be able to look for them."
"What, are you crazy?"
"It's a possibility I haven't ruled out yet,"

Last edited by MuddyBoots; Sep 05, 2024 at 04:22 PM.
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  #2  
Old Sep 05, 2024, 04:34 PM
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Nammu Nammu is offline
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Member Since: May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 76,689
When it’s that bad it’s best to go in. But do go to groups and make use of the resources available.
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Nammu
…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
Desiderata Max Ehrmann



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  #3  
Old Sep 05, 2024, 04:55 PM
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Blueberrybook Blueberrybook is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: TX
Posts: 6,559
I agree it's best to go in.
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD

Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine,

There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in.
--Leonard Cohen
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  #4  
Old Sep 05, 2024, 04:59 PM
MuddyBoots's Avatar
MuddyBoots MuddyBoots is offline
Where am I?
 
Member Since: Sep 2020
Location: Live Free or Die!
Posts: 7,105
I probably won't even do anything harmful though. An hour ago I was ready to do stuff that would get edited out, but I'm back to only wishing my brain, especially the stem, had zero activity, so I'm good right?

I do go to groups too, but they're stupid. I've had a staff member say you can will your body into doing whatever you want. I don't think I can will my arm off or will myself into not having hep.
__________________
"I don't know what I'm looking for."
"Why not?"
"Because...because...I think it might be because if I knew I wouldn't be able to look for them."
"What, are you crazy?"
"It's a possibility I haven't ruled out yet,"
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  #5  
Old Sep 05, 2024, 07:49 PM
MuddyBoots's Avatar
MuddyBoots MuddyBoots is offline
Where am I?
 
Member Since: Sep 2020
Location: Live Free or Die!
Posts: 7,105
My crisis person said to go to the ER if I have plan and intent, which is cool because almost every attempt I’ve had was a decision made 10 minutes before trying but with a lot of distress leading up. But no intent at this second so I’m fine
__________________
"I don't know what I'm looking for."
"Why not?"
"Because...because...I think it might be because if I knew I wouldn't be able to look for them."
"What, are you crazy?"
"It's a possibility I haven't ruled out yet,"
Hugs from:
bizi, raspberrytorte, Rosi700
  #6  
Old Sep 05, 2024, 07:59 PM
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HALLIEBETH87 HALLIEBETH87 is online now
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Member Since: Oct 2004
Location: usa
Posts: 11,936
why not go in a just chat with the on call doc? youve been really struggling and id like to see you be ok
__________________
schizoaffective bipolar type
PTSD
generalized anxiety d/o

haldol, prazosin, risperdal and prn klonopin and helpful cogentin
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  #7  
Old Sep 05, 2024, 09:39 PM
MuddyBoots's Avatar
MuddyBoots MuddyBoots is offline
Where am I?
 
Member Since: Sep 2020
Location: Live Free or Die!
Posts: 7,105
I’ve been chatting with my team on and off for 6 hours now.
__________________
"I don't know what I'm looking for."
"Why not?"
"Because...because...I think it might be because if I knew I wouldn't be able to look for them."
"What, are you crazy?"
"It's a possibility I haven't ruled out yet,"
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  #8  
Old Sep 06, 2024, 06:47 AM
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Blueberrybook Blueberrybook is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: TX
Posts: 6,559
If you've been chatting off & on for 6 hr, I'd say it's time to bite the bullet & go in.
__________________
Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD

Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine,

There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in.
--Leonard Cohen
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  #9  
Old Sep 06, 2024, 07:52 AM
MuddyBoots's Avatar
MuddyBoots MuddyBoots is offline
Where am I?
 
Member Since: Sep 2020
Location: Live Free or Die!
Posts: 7,105
I’m supposed to talk with someone in person today. I seriously think going will cause more harm than good,
Especially considering it’s a Friday and they probably won’t have a bed until Monday or Tuesday and if I spend that much time in the ER I will probably lose all impulse control and get restrained…again.
__________________
"I don't know what I'm looking for."
"Why not?"
"Because...because...I think it might be because if I knew I wouldn't be able to look for them."
"What, are you crazy?"
"It's a possibility I haven't ruled out yet,"
Hugs from:
bizi, raspberrytorte
  #10  
Old Sep 06, 2024, 09:12 AM
MuddyBoots's Avatar
MuddyBoots MuddyBoots is offline
Where am I?
 
Member Since: Sep 2020
Location: Live Free or Die!
Posts: 7,105
Someone is meeting me at the ER and I’m here right now
__________________
"I don't know what I'm looking for."
"Why not?"
"Because...because...I think it might be because if I knew I wouldn't be able to look for them."
"What, are you crazy?"
"It's a possibility I haven't ruled out yet,"
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BeyondtheRainbow, bizi, Blue_Bird, FloatThruThis, HALLIEBETH87, Moose72, Nammu, raspberrytorte, Rosi700, SquarePegGuy
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  #11  
Old Sep 06, 2024, 04:22 PM
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HALLIEBETH87 HALLIEBETH87 is online now
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Member Since: Oct 2004
Location: usa
Posts: 11,936
Quote:
Originally Posted by MuddyBoots View Post
Someone is meeting me at the ER and I’m here right now
whats happening now? you ok???
__________________
schizoaffective bipolar type
PTSD
generalized anxiety d/o

haldol, prazosin, risperdal and prn klonopin and helpful cogentin
Hugs from:
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Thanks for this!
Nammu, raspberrytorte
  #12  
Old Sep 06, 2024, 08:04 PM
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SquarePegGuy SquarePegGuy is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Mar 2020
Location: Northeastern USA
Posts: 1,217
@MuddyBoots, hope you're okay!
__________________
Major Depressive Disorder; Sleep Apnea; possibly on the spectrum
Nuvigil 50mg 150mg; Wellbutrin 150mg; meds for blood pressure & cholesterol
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  #13  
Old Sep 06, 2024, 11:08 PM
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bizi bizi is offline
Bizi is bizi
 
Member Since: Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
Posts: 11,076
I am happy that you went in. You need a good look at what meds you are on and then safely adjust them in a safe environment.
That is what I did 3 years ago my meds stopped working and I needed a safe place to change them up.
I have been stable ever sense.
good luck I say.
bizi
__________________
lamictal 2x a day
haldol 2x a day
cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
fish oil coq10
multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine
Remeron at night,
zyprexa,
requip2-4mg





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  #14  
Old Sep 07, 2024, 04:42 PM
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Moose72 Moose72 is online now
Silver Swan
 
Member Since: Jan 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 18,506
I’m glad you are safe now!
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg
Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg
Vraylar 3 mg
Gabapentin 300 mg
Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily
Mania Sept/Oct 2024
Mania (July/August 2024)
Mania (December 2023)
Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023)
Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021)
Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021)
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  #15  
Old Sep 07, 2024, 05:03 PM
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TBeddoes TBeddoes is offline
New Member
 
Member Since: Sep 2024
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 9
Glad to hear you went to the ER where they can evaluate you and keep you safe. I’ve been there with needing hospitalization. It’s never fun but they do tend to get you stabilized.
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  #16  
Old Sep 08, 2024, 06:32 AM
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Blueberrybook Blueberrybook is offline
Elder
 
Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: TX
Posts: 6,559
I'm glad you went to the ER. Hopefully, they can get you stabilized.
__________________
Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD

Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine,

There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in.
--Leonard Cohen
Hugs from:
bizi
Thanks for this!
Nammu
  #17  
Old Sep 11, 2024, 05:46 PM
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Blue_Bird Blue_Bird is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2013
Location: Middle Earth
Posts: 38,880
I hope you’re doing okay MuddyBoots. Thinking of you
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi


Diagnosis:
Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type
PTSD
Social Anxiety Disorder
Anorexia Binge/Purge type
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