Bipolar Check-in #83

Good luck with the Vraylar!

Hypnotherapy session today but I’m sceptical now after my psychologist ranked my depression anxiety and stress as being in the severe range. Sigh. I should keep an open mind and remind myself that I’m ready to try anything alternative.

I’ve written 3 entries in my psychologist book on things that distressed me. It stresses me out just thinking about it. Ughhhhhhh.

I’ll update later on after my hypnosis session.

Tc all 🫂

At the urging of my husband, I called the nurses line this morning and had to stop myself from crying while leaving a message. Husband said this crying thing is not like me at all. All I want to do is cry. About everything, and I have a pounding headache, and I'm too on edge right now to take a nap before Daughter's birthday party tonight, even after only getting three hours of sleep.

I don't know what's wrong with me! I don't like this med change. I asked if I could go back to my previous dose of sertraline. I just want to feel normal again! I do not feel normal! I KNEW this increase in Lamictal wasn't going to work. I'll deal with mild sexual dysfunction. Right now I don't care! I just want to be my cheery self again.

raspberry, have you heard back from the nurse? I'm so sorry you are feeling so upset & dealing with SI thoughts.

Well dang! That sucks!

I'm doing good today. This morning I felt crappy and super tired. I finally decided to snap out of things and go look for hoodies and stuff for the fall and winter. I went to Platos Closet and I found a Patagonia vest with the $140 price tag still on it for $40. We looked at another place but I didn't find anything. So I ordered some $5 long sleeve shirts from Walmart.

We got whoppers for lunch. I tried the new Wednesday Adams purple whopper and my mom got a whopper Jr. I just took a few bites of mine but both of ours didn't agree with us. The other end. Sorry tmi.

But I feel good besides the whopper. I just had to get my butt out of bed and force myself out of the house to feel better.

Ooo what a day! Last night I couldn’t get to sleep, finally early morning I put on my eye mask and got some sleep. Woke very late at 11. My sister and bil came at around 1 and we tackled the bench. lol so funny. Took the three of us over 2 hours to get the 8 screws in! lol. But we all had fun with it. I brought out my fan and plugged it in. Poured glasses of ice water. And got out the cookies and we had a laugh on it. Looks very nice, holds all my summer shoes and gives me a place by the door to put on and take off my boots for the winter.

The pharmacy has my seroquel ready but I can’t take it until Saturday night. Don’t know how it’s gonna affect me and I have to take my car to the dealership tomorrow for winterization. Then Saturday early I’m driving to my daughter’s house for a day of garage sales. Sun I have a pot luck but I can skip it. So I’ll see how the med affects me. I’m scared of it even though it’s a low dose. It’s been more than twenty years but I seem to recal it really gave me a morning after hangover. My pdoc was hoping it might help with my mood too as I can’t take ADs.

So I find out tomorrow and Sunday if I get 1 of 3 accessable apartment. 2 of the apartments are in the same building and it has a pool, outdoor court yard. So even though I can't walk far I can sit in a park like area and I'll be able to exercise. We just have to be in the first 8 out of 15-20 to get it.

I finally had enough after almost a year of watching the news and turned on a reality competition show.

I get my issues were physical and thats why I'm feeling better, but idk why pdocs won't prescribe Evail for depression anymore. It could really help.

Saw my t. Had to leave work after a couple hours today bc I kept hearing gunshots.

He helped me calm down when it started happening in office. We discussed how hard this year has been. It’s been one thing after another. I have been unstable
Most of the year. Usually spring is
When I struggle most. It started in spring and never ended.

I’m
Getting weary