Bipolar Check-in #83

i worked today then had to take my grnany shopping and out to eat. now i have notes for work and homewokr to do and ALL I WANT TO DO IS SLEEP! DSL always messes me up bc when it gets dark out i just wanna go to bed. ugh

I attended my ZOOM social hour. I lasted 50 minutes. We got laughing at a couple points and it was fun but there is one darn pest of a woman who is either developmentally delayed or has brain damage and she just gets going and drones on and on in these stupefied tones and won't let anyone interrupt. I don't understand why the facilitator doesn't check her. The facilitator is an employee, not just a volunteer. The pest is not even from our city. The organization does not even get funding for people who are not from our city. One man said something to her and she quieted down for a few minutes but then she started up again and i quit.

@Nammu: Glad to hear your session with your new therapist went well.

@Blueberrybook: What a big heart you have to take in a stray cat!

@Blue_Bird: You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Ugh. Have to go to the pharmacy AGAIN. I wish I could just pick all my meds up on the same day each month, but that's just not the way it is. My therapist asked me if there was anyway I could get everything on the same day and I can't because my insurance won't cover my meds if I pick them up too early, and each med somehow ended up on a different schedule. Boohoo. Oh well.

It's our date night and my husband is sleeping on the couch. Lol. I poked him before, but he just kind of mumbled and didn't wake up. It's kind of cute. I would clean right now, but I don't want to disturb him because he looks cute and needs his sleep. He does like 36 hours in three days each week and Monday is his recoup day.

Got my fresh notebook and pens! Yay!

I'm hoping that once the election is over tomorrow I won't have to rely on my seroquel as much to get me through the day. I'm starting to feel like a total addict or something, but my anxiety has been so bad, though I did get a good night of sleep last night thankfully. 😊

Money
v refuses to file for her own food stamps. Making it so we have $100 each a month. And we still have to pay off debt, raise our credit and possibly move in the next 2 months. It's ridiculous.

Just went and voted. It was quick and easy. Was in and out in under 10 minutes.

Been
In line an
Hour and not even in the building to vote

I slept 8 hr. last night, no waking up at 3 AM fidgety & restless this morning. I did pilates & had breakfast. The stray cat is still around. If I can get her into the cat carrier, I have a vet appt. scheduled for her this afternoon. I suspect she is an older cat, super friendly, either abandoned by somebody or really, really lost. No collar; I'll have the vet check for a micochip, but she hasn't been cared for in some time; you can feel her spine & ribs easily petting her.

Trying not to dwell on the election; so far I am amazingly calm this morning, but I have been distracted by the stray cat which is a good thing.

((((HUGS)))) to all, especially those of you with anxiety about the election.

If you have money issues, I am wondering why you feel you need that much money for gifts? We spoil our daughter, and we don't spend more than $300 on gifts, and I feel even that is a lot. H & I each buy a gift for ourselves, something $100 or less.

I already voted.

@Victoria'smom

I agree with Blueberrybook. Why spend so much? I don't think we've ever spent that much on our daughter, and my husband and I don't even buy each other gifts.

Victoria’s mum, I agree that’s way too much money to spend. 100 is fine. Priorities! Getting housing and better credit comes first.

Also agree there is absolutely no need to spend that much money for gifts. It's been a few days, but bluebird, I'm really sorry about Mocha. You gave him a good life, and I bet he's grateful for that. And ((hugs)) to everyone having sleeping issues and anxiety.
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I had a pdoc appointment yesterday. No med changes, but she does want me to update ACT team when I go off into the Great Gulf Wilderness for a day or two. I feel brain dead today. Doing laundry. I waited until I had nothing that fits left so I had to split it to two loads this time which isn't ideal, but whatever. I think I'm gonna take a nap.

I called my psychiatrist and left a message a few minutes ago. I went another night without sleep

@Blue_Bird - I'm glad you called your pdoc. You have been having a lot of trouble with sleep lately, and I know that is miserable.

I have found a counseling course that is possible for me to afford financially with the fortnightly payments that I can finish in 2 years. It’s going to be tough with my 5 year old son constantly around me but my sister managed to do it with twins who were 2 years old. Where there’s a will there’s a way, right?

I slept from 10-4 and then I woke up for a few minutes and I fell back asleep until 6. I feel better today. Last night was rough stomach wise. My anxiety is a lot better today and my moods are fine. My rash is gone too. I'm not sure if you can get steroid withdrawels but it felt like that was what was going on.

I picked up some groceries around noon and I'm just waiting now.

I took a seroquel. Waiting for it to kick in and hopefully calm me down. Took the 300mg my psychiatrist recommended last night, but still only got four hours of sleep. Boo! At this point I've just given up. I don't sleep through the night no matter what I do.

To make matters worse I'm agitated af because I'm hypersexual again. It's really uncomfortable, and my husband is at his mom's house right now.

Tonight is trampoline park and movie night, which should be fun. My husband told me he's going to be checking his phone to see the election results coming in. I asked him to PLEASE not do that!!! I think he's going to do it anyway though. I don't want to know results until they're more finalized tomorrow morning. I'm still so stressed about it I have chest pains right now. This sucks. This is just sucky. I've never been so stressed out about an election! I even woke up this morning with an awful anxiety stomachache. I haven't gotten those since I was a little girl and my parents just attributed it to "nervousness".

I'm hoping I can sleep for a couple of hours, until my husband and daughter get home. That would be nice. I think I need a nap because my head hurts but I don't want to take a Tylenol.