[Bellax3]

I am fifteen, and Tomorrow after school I am supposed to make an appointment for myself for a physical. I haven't been to the doctor since seventh grade, (I'm in 10th)When I was thirteen, I kept an online journal, and i wrote an entry about my mood swings, and how sometimes I even wondered if I had multiple personalities, and how any little thing- or nothing at all- would send me flying into a different mood, and someone told me that sounded like bipolar. Since then I've done a lot of research, (to the point where I can recite all sign and symptoms of bipolar I, II, and cyclocythemia) Personally, I feel I am Bipolar II rapid cycling. . when I first started reading up on info, I felt the information defined me in ways i couldn't put into words. Since then, I've thought about it pretty much every day, and i have googled it to exahustion. last year, I decided that I would bring up the subject with my doctor when I had my physical this year. I promised myself that I wouldn't back out...
but I want to really bad.
I don't want to be labled as a mentally ill teen,
I just want to continue on being just me.
My logical side tells me that I need to do something now.
However, my more emotional side tells me that I've been normal for the past week, (something that is highly rare) and that I can wait. That I can manage it better when I turn 18, and I have a choice over who knows what.
Again, my logical side tells me thats ridiculous. That I need the most support I can possibly get.

General tid bits of info:
The sanity test here pointed out bipolar as my only major concern.
The bipolar screening test here suggested I'm bipolar,
the bipolar questionaire and the other test where you read a paragraph and tell how much of it is like you- all suggest I'm bipolar. (On the paragraph on I scored a 21, 19+ is highly likely bipolar)

Help? Advice? Words of encouragement?

Thanks.

[Perfectly_Imperfect]

All I have to say is be strong! Talk about how you are feeling with your doctor like you orginally planned. Don't wait to look for help until you're in desperate need of it. Also, there's absolutely NOTHING wrong with being a menatally ill teen. There's such a negative stigma surrounding mental illness and it's quite sickening. People that are mentally ill are NORMAL people that just have a harder time coping with everyday events then most people. I wish you luck Bella! <3

[RelientK]

Dear Bellax3

I'm glad you took this first step in posting here to ask for help.
The next step is to tell your doctor how you have been feeling. You will feel a sense of relief I promise.

Another reason to seek treatment sooner rather than later is that the mood episodes can get both longer and worse if left untreated. That was certainly my experience.

Let us know how your appointment goes.

[Schatje]

Don't worry about the mentally ill teen stigma. If you are waiting until you are older to escape the stigma that comes along with mental illness then you will be waiting a long time, because teen, child or adult the stigma of mental illness is always there. You have to put away the worries of what people will think of you or you may never get help or you may end up in the hospital after doing something stupid and end up getting help that way. A diagnosis won't change who you are, you will always be the wonderful individual that you have always been, you will just have a name to put with your problem and the ability to better control your moods.

I'm bipolar II as well and know that the chance that we will end up on a manic spending spree, hopping a plane to Las Vegas, borrowing 1/2 a million dollars from a loan shark with a friend named Butch, and then putting all that money on lucky number 13 on the roulette wheel is fairly slim, but the chance that we may try to hurt ourselves is much more likely. You don't want to wait till you are down and out or getting ready for the crash after flying high. You may feel fine now, but what about next week or even tomorrow?

You can do it. Good luck!

[3kittycat]

Good luck with your doctor's appointment.

Yes, mental illness does carry a stigma. I am BPII as well. I still have not told my in-laws of my diagnosis. They do know I have a depression problem (that is how my disorder usually manifests) but I fear what people think when they hear bipolar.

That being said, there is no reason that your peers will need to know that you are diagnosed with a mental illness. Most of the medications are taken in the morning or at night so there should be no need to go to the school nurse for pills. Tell only who you want to tell.

Congratulations in being proactive about your mental health. Had I been, I probably would have had my diagnosis (and with the correct diagnosis the proper treatment) sooner.

Beware of the mood-stabilizer Depakote. It is very likely to cause the painful condition polycystic ovaries in teenagers and young adults.

[Peerless]

When life deals you lemons...

Everybody has stuff they have to live with and work with in their day to day life. If someone looks down upon you for a problem you can't fix and are doing your best to manage, they need a shot in the arm to wake em up. Karma is, excuse my wording, a *****. DO YOUR OWN! BE YOURSELF! I speak from way too much experience when i say its too easy to get caught up in the public image. DO whats best for you... Good luck...

[Bellax3]

Thanks for all the support and encouragement! It really is helping.
They put me in for the next closest appointment, which isn't till the end of the month, and its hard to keep up the motivation to actually talk to my doctor about it because, as I said before, I've been having no symptoms for TWO weeks now, which again is rare for me, but I know that I really should keep in mind that it won't last forever.

Thanks again!

I'm trying to keep my mind off of it during the day so I can at least enjoy my normalcy while it lasts. My confidence is up without the hypomanic hysterical inappropriate laughing, and jumbled up brain. I feel good, but not too good. I wish it would last forever.