[Victoria'smom]

My therapist said she doesn't think I have bipolar. I look back on my life and only see bipolar. She sees psychosis but not bipolar. Yes things have calmed down but she doesn't realize she's overlooking the majority of my life. She wants me rediognosed through testing. I don't know I feel weird about it.

[MuddyBoots]

I saw your post in the check-in thread and I don't have the greatest memory, but I do know for sure you've had some depressive episodes even recently, and a quick search through your posts choosing a random page years ago shows you did seem elevated (in my non professional but lots of experience opinion) in at least 2020 for a period of time.

I'd say your therapist is focused on the recent psychosis, but since she hasn't seen you blatantly (hypo)manic she's just questioning if your previous docs saw things accurately.

When I question my diagnosis, not out of lack of insight into being currently symptomatic and being delusional when I'm not capable of halfway decent judgment, I look up the criteria for manic and hypomanic symptoms or see other people going through it (on here mostly) and say "yeah, been there."


It's tough because it is episodic and it's easy to "forget" or ascribe "that time" to something else until it happens again, at least for me. But I'd say a huge "yeah, you're bipolar" is if you've ever had days of minimal to no sleep and didn't feel tired without being on substances that cause wakefulness (if I sleep less than 5 hours a night two nights in a row and feel energetic, my doc is comfortable saying I'm getting hypomanic so it doesn't have to be as severe as "I was up for five days straight running marathon distances every day while chatting everybody's ears up until they bled").

[Victoria'smom]

I wanted to argue point out times in college because that's the one incident that was clearly mania.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

In the 10 years I've been on this board I've never once thought "she's not bipolar" on any post you've made. I have thought that about different people who've come and gone but never you. I've felt bad because you've had such a battle to feel better but I've never questioned whether this was your place on the internet. And as others have said even if you don't somehow meet diagnostic criteria this is YOUR place now.

I do think you have had the hyperfocus of hypomania before. You get very involved in an idea and research it to great extent. Partly you have a talent for this and partly it might be a symptom. It's kind of hard to know though.

The neuropsych testing can't hurt if it's covered by insurance and you might learn something interesting. Even if you take it and don't agree with it it's just a little more information on how your brain ticks that might help someone someday find the perfect treatment for you. It sounds like your therapist is trying to be comprehensive and that's a good thing.

Keep posting!

[Victoria'smom]

T seem to think my hyper focus is an add thing. I'm willing to get tested but it requires me alone with a stranger in a room in person. Which is a major trigger for me. So I'm hoping to come up with examples of times when I'm not psychotic just hypo manic or manic. I never put my hyper focus and research ability as a sign of mania. I'm going to have to put that as a sign because your right when I'm researching I don't sleep, eat or do anything else but figure out that topic.