My team really wants me to go to the hospital

I see absolutely NO BENEFIT IN going other than it provides me a different audience to flip out in front of and gives my neighbors a break and gives me a different environment to hit myself and chew my body up in. I have to go back to the clinic soon to check in.

But you can’t take any meds because of reactions, correct? So what can they do for you?

Literally nothing but they’ll do IV ativan so I can get out and have withdrawals and be asked if I need to go back.

I’m sorry you’re in such a difficult position right now

Thanks. I've been binging & purging all day pretty much. Have the coffee ground emesis again/still. They said I had GERD with esophagitis and hematemesis at my last appointment. I have a feeling if I don't get my shyt together by tomorrow they're going to file for an IEA. They said it was really concerning when they asked if I wanted to safety plan with them and I said eff that.

That really sucks!

My Pdoc said if the meds I’m on now didn’t work out we’d have no more meds to try and would have to do ECT. Has your Pdoc brought that up with you?

I tried ECT last time I was IP (I did agree to it) and it didn't go well. I got really manic after the first round and flipped out at the doc and accused him of rape. I was bummed because I was supposed to feel fatigued and lethargic and instead I wanted to punch everyone and everything in my path while riding a lightning bolt to Satan's locker room. I can't even do ECT outpatient apparently so no point in trying again.

Can you do any of the new medications?

They started me on Rexulti just before I almost totally stopped sleeping, became actively sui, and started regularly SHing (have been sleeping at least 45 min a night since starting trazodone now though: tonight took as directed doses of Tylenol PM, melatonin, trazodone, and clonidine and have gotten a very restful hour). I hope one of these days it starts working

I am sorry that meds don't work for you.
Do they carry medical mariquana in your state? I am sorry don't know how to spell it.Hubby just got it and had the first restfull sleep in quite some time. He also took cbd and cbn and benadryl. he said he was having insomnia. and they sent him a card to use.
It s expensive but worth it for a good nights sleep.
((((HUGS)))))
bizi

With coffee ground emesis, they should put you into a medical wing, not a psych ward. Is anyone doing a regular hematocrit? My wife had the coffee ground and black tarry poop. She was in the hospital for two weeks and needed four pints of blood. Not that I want you to freak out...

But I care about you, MB!