[dkbear]

I am Bipolar II, mixed, diagnosed about 1-1/2 years ago. I was abused since I was 7 (I am 31 now). I always thought of my mom as a victim too because she didn't do a lot of the abusing (other family members did it), or I chose not to see it as being "that bad" as far as she was concerned, even though she was very mean at times too. Therapy has recently opened my eyes and I confronted her today about it, telling her that she did not do enough to protect me as a child. She lashed out at me while I was at her house, but later said what can I do to make things better, I will do anything.

I am feeling guilty, like how dare I hurt my mother's feelings and make her cry. I am feeling maybe a little relief. I feel angry. I feel every emotion you can imagine right now. My body is exhausted, I am hurting everywhere. It is making me physically sick. I cannot seem to get any relief from the physical or emotional pain. Some of the things she said to me during the confrontation were so hurtful, just hateful. It made me feel like I was garbage. She retracted what she said but, to me, there was a reason she said them.

How do I do this? I talked to my therapist while I was at my Mom's and had her also talk to her. My mom lives too far away to meet with her so she is going to devise some plan to try and work on things. I am scared though. These emotions are so strong, and I am not sure I am going to be able to deal with this very well, plus work, plus the other responsibilities to my husband and his family. They also need me emotionally as well because we had a tragedy there, which is a whole other story of stress, and will have to go to court soon and give an impact statement.

Any thoughts or advice would be appreciated.

[RelientK]

Dear DKBear

I really feel for ya. From reading your post, it seems like you have several emotionally draining things all going on at once. The range of emotions you must be experiencing is significant. ...and you have BP on top of it all...

I believe the forum members here should help you brainstorm different coping methods. I believe that once you can control some aspects of the
emotional fallout, you can confront the sources of your stress.

I would suggest 2 things: Talk openly and honestly to a couple of people close to you about exactly how you are feeling. Mention emotional and physical symptoms. The second thing is exercise. Take a 15 minute walk now and again. It really does help.

Good luck.

[BalishBun]

If you ever need to talk and nowone is around, PM me

[confusedgurl08]

yes i am also here for you if you ever need anything.