[iamtwilight]

!!! Trig Trig Trig !!!

Does anyone know what this is? Rapid cycling, mixed episode? What is the difference between the two? Or is there any difference?

Excuse any spelling or grammtical errors. I am trying my best to focus.

Last night I listened to happy hardcore (if you don't know what that is, it's mostly happy and upbeat music about rainbows and butterflies and the love for music) and cried. I felt like I was trapped, and that suicide was my only option. Two hours later I thought I could care less about what people think and that I thought of myself as a real riot, fun to be with and everything. Then I think I crashed down again, feeling anxious. I don't remember much, but I knew my moods kept fluctuating every two, three hours and sometimes overlapping themselves.

Right now, I am feeling like I am at the top of the world. Nothing else matters anymore. My problems are unexistant. I don't care that I have less than 300 € on my account and I need to sacrifice 50€ for dentist's bill because I forgot to cancel my appointment. And I will need a crapload of money on Thursday when I go to Sweden with my boyfriend.

He's probably happy to see me happy after a long time.

I think usually I would be frightened of going to new places where he knows people and I know nobody. I am really bad with people. I have only 1 friend besides my b/f. Hehe. But I don't care because this feeling is the best in the world and I would sacrifice everything I have for it.

I don't think I can quite put this feeling into words, but if anyone wants to know, the song "Dance Like You're Selling Nails" by Venetian Snares pretty much sounds like it. I don't know if I'm being psychotic but I think I perceive music differently. As if it is a language of sorts. I know, I know, it's silly but that is how I feel!

I feel like I am slightly drunk but without the heavy feeling that comes from it.

So Confused.

[MyBestKids2]

Hi Katie Kaboom

Yes! I've been through rapid cycling many times, it can be pretty scary depending on where you are and who you are with. The ups and downs happen pretty quickly, and I try to stay someone safe like at home or with someone who cares about me.

Stay safe and be peaceful

Dee

[iamtwilight]

Hey Dee, thanks for your reply!

I agree it's quite scary, especially when it's time to crash down from heights. I'm staying safe, I'm at home miles away from civilization

[(JD)]

Bipolar Disorder II is characterized by episodes of milder depression and milder mania, called hypomania. A hypomanic episode is different from full mania in that it does not include psychotic symptoms (i.e. delusions) and it does not include symptoms that might be dangerous to the person or to others. Although it has it's own name, bipolar disorder II is reliably diagnosed less often than Bipolar I, and some experts question characterizing it as a milder version of the disorder (Source: "Bipolar Disorder." New England Journal of Medicine 2004:351:5:476-486).

A mixed episode is characterized by symptoms of both mania and depression occuring together (i.e. during the same day) for at least one week. A person experiencing a mixed episode might be very anxious and disorganized, unable to sleep or concentrate. In children, it can resemble Attention Deficit Disorder or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. Mixed episodes are generally followed by depression, and occur most often in people under 25 or over 60 years of age.

Rapid cycling refers to someone experiencing four or more episodes of mania or depression within the period of one year. Rapid cycling may last a few years and then slow down into less frequent episodes; conversely, someone may develop rapid cycling well after being diagnosed with fewer episodes.

Please let your doctor know so he can consider adjusting your medicine to help balance your life out.

[AAAAA]

I know how you're feeling, please contact the doctor. Although this feels good right now, there's a crash coming.