[silverrosez08]

I went to my first psychiatrist appointment a few weeks ago. After the long evaluation he said he was leaning towards GAD or Bipolar. But no ADD..thats what I thought I had. So he gave me a mood chart to do and said he'd see me in a month. Meanwhile, giving me Valium and a therapy appointment to see how that goes.

Well the Valium makes me really tired, and only cuts my thoughts in half if any so I dont take it. The therapy appointment went okay but its really hard to put her ideas into light for me.

Anywho, the therapist told me to research bipolar disorder because after talking to me she figures thats what Im dealing with. So thats what Ive been doing and its like someone turned on the light for me. I got so emotional reading about it cause it was exactly the things I was doing or did. I always thought it might be pms..but it just lasted for way too long and was way too erratic. I remember just disappearing from my dad's life for 6 months for no real reason..or always skipping out on friends..or needing more alone time then necessary or even getting really sociable for some reason. I could never focus, have always been anxious, impulsive, I mean the list goes on.

My moods have always been up and down. I dont remember ever being just stable. Lately, my mind hasnt been shutting off. I cant sit still, Im feeling extremely outgoing, Ive been really irritable, really happy, and Ive felt like I was in another place for this past week. Its just crazy. Ive been documenting everything but its hard to explain honestly.

Hoping this part of the forum will help me out and deal with all this craziness!