[Berries]

I'm off to my psychiatrist! I am telling him I don't want to take Clozaril anymore. I think he'll understand. I hope he will.
But my best friend is going to kill me. She thinks I'll decsend into the depths of madness without it.
I just don't want to put it into my body anymore. Nueroleptics are so toxic and Cloazaril is the strongest most dangerous one out there.
I've been on it for 15 years and I just don't want to do it anymore. It also makes me sleep 12 hours a day.
(When I'm manic I sleep 6 to 8 hours a night. Can you belive that???? What bipolar can say that?????) I don't want to spend the rest of my life sleeping!!!
My mom is OK with it unless I get psychotic symptoms again. But I haven't told my BFF. I hope she understands.
She isn't "menally ill" so it's hard for her.
She also happens to be a clinical psychologist and likes to "diagnose" me.
I love her to death and she has been so supportive to me in my times of need, but I am so extrememly nervous about telling her this.
I am compromising (I'd like to go off meds), I will take a nueroleptic, just not Clozaril.
Gotta go! Wish me luck!

[FlffyChic]

If your friend the psychologist is really your friend then she will know how to keep her boundaries between her work life and her social life. what all other neuroleptics have you been on? and what was your success rate with them? maybe a dose adjustment would be better to decrease your sleep instead of a complete med makeover. it's important to take these things slowly. If you have been on Clozaril for that long then i'm suspecting you havent' had much success with other drugs. treat your symptoms and your side effects by slowly adjusting your dose. with dr. assistance of course. by doing so slowly, you will be able to better monitor your negative symptoms and decrease the chances of "slipping into madness." when we make drastic changes we get drastic consequences. remember that. i can totally appreciate your choice of not wanting to take clozaril. i can tell you i'd never take it in my lifetime. not after i've seen what it can do. but take your time with this. discuss your concerns with your dr. and give it time to make the change to another neuroleptic. you will most likely have to go down on the clozaril and start a low dose of something else at the same time. then as the clozaril dose decreases your other dose will increase until it is safe to completely stop the clozaril and go to the therapeutic dose of the other med. but remember, this needs to be done by your doctor and not on your own. you want to stay sane remember, and i'm sure you don't want side effects from stopping the med too soon or a possible symptom return. take care. hope i helped.