[bizi]

Mental health for beginners

You are a person first!
.....Always remember that-
.....Everybody has problems.
Can you be yourself?
.....You happen to be the expert of you.
Learn from the past, acknowledging what
.....has happened.
.....This is not easy and comfortable.
Listen to your heart, slow down your pace
.....so you can stay in touch with yourself
.....and reality.
Think about your actions, wants and
.....needs, knowing that it is hard to focus
.....with racing thoughts....
.....SO STOP IT!
.....Deliberate thinking is the answer.
Decide you are important and
.....worthy of this effort.
.....You can make decisions intelligently.
To make this decision is a choice.
.....You may choose not to....
.....While knowing the consequences.
.....You know you need to finally
Live for your life everyday!
.....It is your choice.

You can Learn, Listen, Think, Decide to Live.

It is your choice.

[Berries]

How come it doesn't feel like I have a choice, then?
I feel compelled. I try to do what I am compelled to do. And when I go against that, I feel so scared and ashamed.
And when I do what I am compelled to do, which usually hurts me (and therefore my loved ones), I feel so scared and guilty and like a great big wussy coward.
I am compelled to prove whether I am sane, to myself and everyone else, and if I'm sane, I am supposed to kill myself. But if people think I am crazy, they'll try to control me in ways that I find too traumatizing.
I don't want to die.
So, where is my choice in all of this?

[bizi]

You decide to live.

bizi

[GeneticlyBipolar1]

Hey BIZI, interesting piece. I want to take heed to most of it. If my mind will let me . . . . lol.

Later

[Berries]

But what if I don't deserve to live?

[bizi]

of course you deserve to live....we all deserve to live.
bizi

I found for me that I couldn't think rationally & believe that I did deserve to live (was very suicidal) until I got on the correct medication (have bipolar disorder). So just saying these things doesn't necessarily make them true in your heart & mind--sometimes the mental illness makes you think irrationally & you need medication before you can grasp these concepts--at least that is what it was like for me.--Suzy

[Slothrop]

A lot of this may be true for people who respond well to CBT...distorted thinking can cause a lot of emotional distress.

However, you can't always say "STOP IT!" to mental illness any more than you would to cancer.

I think you are totally right that making good choices is critical. But first some people need to get to a place where they can. For example, my racing thoughts did not respond to various non-medicinal "positive thinking" approaches. They did respond very quickly to bipolar meds. With the meds, I am now much better able to make good choices.

[Berries]

I disagree. Some people deserve to die.
Does anyone believe Hitler deserved to live?
What about Saddam Hussain or Osama Bin Laden?
I know I am know one to judge other people, but these guys--it's a no brainer.

[bizi]

WEll I was referring to those of us here who post on this forum, when I said we deserve to live...some of us deserve punishment for our wrong doings, asking for forgiveness when we have hurt another. WE have prison systems in place for those who need them.
Medications can help you deal with cumpulsions...I deal with that as well. I am in a manic state so that helps to explain my compulsions to do certain things I might not other wise do. Meds are an important factor here. I agree.
WE make decisions all of the time, some of them are tough ones....some of them are easy.
It is easy to get into the mind set of being a victim when we see that we have other options then we can regain some power/control over our thoughts and actions....choosing not to be a victim of circumstances.
bizi

[Berries]

I don't think of myself as a victim, as in poor me...
I feel much more like a trapped perpetrator.

[bizi]

Do you have a therapist to help you with this?
You sound miserable.
I am sorry
bizi

[AnnHertel]

Originally Posted by Suzy5654

I found for me that I couldn't think rationally & believe that I did deserve to live (was very suicidal) until I got on the correct medication (have bipolar disorder). So just saying these things doesn't necessarily make them true in your heart & mind--sometimes the mental illness makes you think irrationally & you need medication before you can grasp these concepts--at least that is what it was like for me.--Suzy

I completely agree with you! One must want to believe in these thoughts.

Sometimes, even though we may want to believe them, we don't - we stop ourselves right at the edge of believing. Fear. Fear of trying to change and then failing. Fear of the unknown. What is beyond bipolar? What will happen, what will change if I do believe these thoughts and try to take control of my life?

Try to be brave. But it will only work when each person is ready for it.

[bizi]

Change
by ellen bass

This is where I yank the old roots from my chest,
like the tomatoes we let grow until december, stalks thick as saplings.

This is the moment when ancient fears race like thoroughbreds,
asking for more and more rein and I the driver for some reason
they knokw nothing of, strain to hold them back.

Terror grips me like a virus and I sweat
fevered trying to burn it out.

This fear is invisable, all you can see is a woman going about
her ordinary day, drinking tea, taking herself to the movies,
reading in bed.

If victorious, I will look exactly the same yet I am hoisting a car
from mud ruts half a century deep. I am hacking a clearing
through the fallen slash of my heart.

Without laser prcision, with only the primitive knife of need,
I cut and splice the circuitry of my brain.

I change.

[AnnHertel]

Originally Posted by Slothrop

A lot of this may be true for people who respond well to CBT...distorted thinking can cause a lot of emotional distress.

However, you can't always say "STOP IT!" to mental illness any more than you would to cancer.

I think you are totally right that making good choices is critical. But first some people need to get to a place where they can. For example, my racing thoughts did not respond to various non-medicinal "positive thinking" approaches. They did respond very quickly to bipolar meds. With the meds, I am now much better able to make good choices.

yep yep. once again, I agree with what you are saying. I am not foolish to believe that a simple positive outlook will solve everything, as in it won't solve cancer. But I do believe that your state of mind and how you approach your life and the trials you face, has a great influence on your mind and body.

But again, you must be stable... if it weren't for Lamictal I would be screwed!! I need some other meds as well, which the doses vary according to which phase of my cycles I am in, but Lamictal is my lifesaver. I'm crazy as bat ***** without it and no amount of positive thinking could pull me together!

[bizi]

I agree with you.
My meds are my life saver as well, along with my pdoc and therapist.
I still believe we make choices everyday.
For some of us we choose to live everyday.
for some it is every hour even if they have to sit on their hands to not hurt themselves.
bizi

[vrba44070]

I know some people who choose not to take their meds & use alcohol & crack instead. They do this probably because the meds offer only a partial solution to their problem & the alcohol & crack offer instant gratification. It is their choice to do this but once they do this they lack insight into their behavior. Some of them lack insight into themselves at the core & are not responsible for their choices. Sometimes it's hard to tell the two apart. I know because I work at a drop-in center for the homeless mentally ill. Some of these folks don't use drugs, but the medication still doesn't work. It's very sad. I'm grateful I have insight enough to take my medication. It's a choice for me. I choose to get better.
BTW, I liked the poem by ellen bass.
Jody

[bizi]

please watch this video:

don't give up by peter gabriel and kate bush:

bizi