[kkkeeelllllyyy]

After years of med changes, I have eventually been labeled this. My pdoc initially took me off all ADs and tapered me down to only trileptal at this point. He's encouraging me to look at non-pharmacological answers, and at this point its all he talks about. Meanwhile I am more miserable than ever. I ODed on benzos around christmas and spent a few days in ICU that I have no memory of. After that I am no longer allowed to posess medication and my parents dispense it to me like I am a child (ill be 24 on tuesday). Anyway, to my question. I've done hours of research on this refractory bipolar depression, and it seems like all the treatments point to using an AD with an antipsychotic or mood stabalizer. Thing is, I want to try an AD again since it's been over a year since I had to stop due to cycling issues. I just am almost ashamed/discouraged from even asking because he seems to have totally sworn them off in my case. I DON'T really want a physical treatment like VNS or ECT. But everyone around me acts like I am ungreatful to not be willing to try anything. I saw my pdoc today and gave him a pretty long list of medications I had read about treating this, which resulted in brief talk and then nothing. Its like he doesn't want to give me anything. I feel I am being given no choice. I'm just desperate and at another breaking point, I just need some kind of help here. I'm not in therapy anymore, and without a friend to my name and family in denial, I don't want to be back in the ICU again. Any advice?

[bigt666]

I'm 21 and my mom still locks my medication because I've tried to OD in the past before. So, you're not the only one.

I personally think you should change your doctor. Trileptal is not a very good pill. I've tried it in the past and it did nothing to me. Why doesn't he want to give AD's?

[madisgram]

hi KLY,and welcome to pc why don't you get another opinion with a pdoc? it sounds like you are using your noggin...like the list to your doc today. that's being the "owner" of your disorders. good for you! there are so many meds out there that i am hopful you will find a pdoc that is willing to try to help find the ones that work for you.
another thing that can help you in the meantime is do daily exercise like brisk walking, jogging, etc. it stimulates the "feel good "chemicals in the brain. it has helped me tremedously, but it's only part of the solution i know.
keep us posted will u? i care and i'm sure others do too.

[phlashback]

I agree that you need to seek a new doctor if yours is no longer treating you. I do not like the idea of ECT, however it has helped my aunt (temporarly).

Exercise can help, but can be hard to get going... just force yourself (I know easier said than done). Start small, and give yourself credit for doing (I have trouble with this... but I am not nor are you a lost cause)

My last doctor visit it was recomended that I try a lightbox (in cobination with my medication). It has been helpfull, but by no means perfect.

As madisgram stated good for you taking ownership by giving your doc a list of your research. Now it is time to take even more charge by finding the right doc (not all are created equal).

As my friend who is a doctor said at his graduation. "What do you call a doctor that graduates at the top of thier class? Doctor! What do you call a doctor who just scraped by? Doctor" It is sad but true.

Please try to get back in to see a therapist, you deserve help.

We are here for you!

[radmaker3]

Hello. I just wanted to add my two cents in that I agree with the second opinion. If it's possible for you, like money and insurance wise, see another psychiatrist, and let him take a look at your history, and also the medications you have been researching. I just recently started taking Pristiq, it's a new anti depressant, and it has worked well for me.

[simonesparrow]

Listen, I've been there....I have treatment resistant depression and tried ECT which did not work. However, you need a shrink and someone who will not give up on you!!! I am loathe to say this, but I think you should try ECT becuase it has helped so many bipolar people. You sound like you are really suffering and I am very sorry for your pain,let us here be your friends as I have found help and support and just joined last week....use whatever tools are in your arsenal but please don't OD again. Life is very tough but many bipolar people recover and lead positive lives. Please feel free to write me.

Yours,
Simone

Originally Posted by kkkeeelllllyyy

After years of med changes, I have eventually been labeled this. My pdoc initially took me off all ADs and tapered me down to only trileptal at this point. He's encouraging me to look at non-pharmacological answers, and at this point its all he talks about. Meanwhile I am more miserable than ever. I ODed on benzos around christmas and spent a few days in ICU that I have no memory of. After that I am no longer allowed to posess medication and my parents dispense it to me like I am a child (ill be 24 on tuesday). Anyway, to my question. I've done hours of research on this refractory bipolar depression, and it seems like all the treatments point to using an AD with an antipsychotic or mood stabalizer. Thing is, I want to try an AD again since it's been over a year since I had to stop due to cycling issues. I just am almost ashamed/discouraged from even asking because he seems to have totally sworn them off in my case. I DON'T really want a physical treatment like VNS or ECT. But everyone around me acts like I am ungreatful to not be willing to try anything. I saw my pdoc today and gave him a pretty long list of medications I had read about treating this, which resulted in brief talk and then nothing. Its like he doesn't want to give me anything. I feel I am being given no choice. I'm just desperate and at another breaking point, I just need some kind of help here. I'm not in therapy anymore, and without a friend to my name and family in denial, I don't want to be back in the ICU again. Any advice?