[BeachChick3]

I'm a teenager and I think I'm bipolar. I've taken quizzes and taken diagnostic tests that have all tested positive for the disorder, however my parents refuse to believe that I am bipolar, and, personally, I'm too ashamed to bring it up to anyone. I feel hopeless and out of place for weeks or months, but I might come out of that for maybe an hour or so a day. Then everything will seem fantastic for a while. It's almost euphoric. My ego gets huge and I ace all these tests, I get all these guys, my friends all want to hang out with me, but then I'll always get sad again somehow, and the cycle repeats. Any insight?

[mortimer]

You said your parents won't believe it, well, it sounds like it's true. Even if it turns out it isn't bipolar, there's a problem. I assume you're in high school, you can talk to the school counselors there free and in confidence (As long as you're not a harm to you or anyone else) I know my school, not sure about yours, offers group therapy. Maybe that will help?

You can also get your school counselor to help you convince your parents once you fill him/her in. It's considered neglect I'm pretty sure for them to deny you treatment you need.

In your parents defense, make sure you put yourself in their shoes. They may blame themselves, and it's easy to pretend it isn't your problem, easier then them blaming themselves. Not that it sounds like you hold a grudge against them for it, just wanted to make sure ya know. ^_^

Good luck whatever you do~!

[darkeyes]

Hi there,
Welcome to our forums. The best way to determine if you truly are Bipolar is to be evaluated by a mental health professional, preferably a psychiatrist.
Quizzes and other reading material, though helpful, cannot and never will replace the expertise of a psychiatrist.
Symptoms of adolescence can mimic mental disorders but are usually due to hormonal changes, and brain chemicals, etc.
Imbalances of brain chemicals, can be the main cause to many disorders, and most of the times require medications to address such imbalances.
Genetics too, play a big part in mental disorders, especially Bipolar disorder, so it is always best to see a pdoc, to determine your diagnosis.
Give some thought to taking this up with a mental health professional, tossing around info., quizzes and other informative stuff just may cause more confusion on getting to the heart of this, going only by written material and internet stuff can only cause more confusion and thus anxiety also.
I am wishing you lots of luck with this, feel free to let us know how you make out.

Sincerely,
DE

[vacantangel]

Hi BeachChick

First, welcome to the forums. It is very supportive here. I've only been here a very short time myself. I understand your embarrassment about telling people you're BP, I feel the same way in the "normal" world. I usually tell them I'm either stressed or depressed but even with that I don't like the direction in which the conversation goes. I try to avoid it as much as possible actually. But on a site such as this, I have no problem discussing my dx. All here have one problem or another or maybe several, as I do. I'm sorry that your parents are not giving you the support that you would like, firstly by just admitting that you are BP. Maybe they have some guilt, which they shouldn't or maybe they just don't want to acknowledge the pain you are in because it is very upsetting to them. It could also be the dreaded stigma that is attached to mental illnesses. At any rate, I hope that you have been properly evaulated by a pdoc and are being treated accordingly with meds. Therapy also helps. Anyways, I've rambled enough, something I do a lot so again, welcome aboard and I hope you feel at home here.

[sqrlb8]

Hi BC, wow, Darkeyes nailed it. So succinctly in fact, I wonder what i'm doing except maybe to garble it up some with sqrl chatter.

The genetic thing is real, and it makes me wonder what your impressions of your parents might be. I mean, really, you have enough concern to warrant seeking out some pro advice, and I think in your position I would do that. But back to the genetic thing, if your parents are your biological parents, and in studying them you find nothing like bipolar symptoms about them, it would seem unlikely to me that you just out of the blue turn out to be bipolar. This is purely anecdotal, of course, but I've never met a bipolar yet without one or the other parent affected. But hey, bipolar schmipolar, just a word. You want to know WHAT is wrong not that THAT (bp) is what is wrong. Best way to do that is get with a pro. Lay it all out.

Good luck BC, you show a lot of insight. That is what will help you the most with whatever it is.

[vacantangel]

Well, sqrl, meet me Neither one of my parents are BP but I have cousins, uncles, etc that are. It's definitely in my genes but my parents escaped it, well, maybe the more I think about it, my father did display some symptoms of it but we knew nothing about the disorder then. He's no longer living. So, the jury is out on my parents I guess. Depression runs rampant in my family though but none as bad as mine, although my brother did attempt suicide a few years ago and was almost successful. The doctors said that another 5 to 10 minutes and they would've lost him. Thankfully they got to him in time.

[sqrlb8]

Well Howdy-doo Angel. I been gonna meet you for some time now. (apparently I woke up hillbilly this am) I've followed your posting here with all my empathy. BP can be such a rough ride. Your family make up sounds similar to mine. In that not all of the dx's are the same. I was imprecise in my post above to say that one parent or the other is likely bipolar, more accurate would have been to say that some kind of brain chemistyr mental illness was likely there.

I don't mean to go off topic here, and maybe this isn't, but anyway... My brother and my sister and I each have different dx's. Ranging from Borderline personality/psychotic, chronic depression and me, Bi Polar. So the genetic factor jumps out at me to be sure, but obviously it doesn't mean the exact same symptoms manifest in each child. This has caused me to wonder quite a bit about how "related" so many mental illnesses might be. After all, it's not like there is a virus that can be seen under a microscope and identified as the bp virus, or the depression virus etc. Instead, it's all based on what we as patients "say" to our docs. And that all depends on how we feel that day, and to what extent we are able to recall any other days. (for me a real challenge, lol) And even the meds in a way acknowledge the similarities in that so many are prescribed for more than one symptom or illness.

To try to at least close on topic, I was hoping it might be helpful for BC to look at her blood relations to see if there is a pattern of MI. Absent that, seems less likely that she might be. Cripes, as a teenager I could have used such a perspective. I'm hoping it was an empowering or reassuring thing to point up.

I'm sure looking forward to knowing you more Angel, and keep posting.

[vacantangel]

Hi sqrl

I understand your point of needing to find blood relations that suffer from MI. I should've been more specific with my last comments. Depression does run rampant in my family but I think it is more 'situational' depression resulting from a specific effect, pregnancy, what have you, but not the lasting kind that has been bestowed up me. When my brother tried to take his own life, yes he was definitely depressed but also situational. He is insulin dependent diabetic with many related physical problems. He is on government medical disability as he has been unable to work for many years. He got to the point where he just couldn't take it all anymore and decided to put an end to it. He was put on ADs for awhile afterwards but is no longer on them. He is fine now, as is the rest of my immediate family. As I said though, I do have a first cousin who was diagnosed BP1 or manic depressive back in the day when he was first diagnosed. He has been in and out of institutions since his early 20's when his MI was discovered. He is now in his 50's. He lives on a govt medical disability and has had his entire life. He has never worked a day in his life. He was the only one in my family that I was aware of when mine surfaced in 2001. I say 2001, but actually I have suffered from major depression with suicidal ideation for many years, off and on. It wasn't until 2002, that my original dx of severe depression or whatever the real name of it is, keep forgetting (fried brain cells), that my dx was changed to BP2 after going through extensive written and oral testing at an institute for the mental ill by a qualified pdoc. Since then, my mom has thought back to family members that I do not know, that have displayed BP symptoms. She is assuming that they were, now knowing more about the disorder than she did before. Of course, back in her day, living in a small island community where she did, they didn't have the medical resources as we do today. She is just relating their behaviours to mine and drawing the conclusion that they must've also been BP. So, we can't really say for fact, other than my one cousin who has definitely been dx BP1. My father did display some strange behaviour, same as mine, but he would never admit to anything being wrong with him, especially in the way of any kind of MI. There is no doubt in my mind that I have received the proper dx for me. It is obvious with my many severe mood swings. Luckily now, I am on a few days ride of actually feeling pretty good, which is a rarity for me, but I'm not referring to hypomanic, moreso gasp! *normal*. Gosh, didn't think I could ever say that about myself again, but I'm like a walking time bomb at all times, not knowing when the next mood swing will take place. Unlike rebound who can feel his changing gradually, mine hit instantaneously and hit me like a ton of bricks, no warning whatsoever. Hard to cope with being depressed one moment and in the next minute hypomanic and even worse when the yo-yo effect can happen several times in one day. So, right now I'm having a breather from all the chaos and will enjoy this kind of *normalcy* which is so very rare for me as long as it lasts. My mood swings are usually triggered, even by something that is so innocent to others, but there are also times that there is no apparent reason for the abrupt change in mood. Those are more unnerving when you don't even know why you are in a completely different mood other than the fact that the fried brain cells have taken another turn on their own. God, I just realized I'm rambling and don't even know what the original topic was supposed to be or if I even addressed it.

BTW, do you think rambling and digressing are common for those dealing with MI? I've seen it so often on the boards and it has my curiousity.

So, to digress once again, when did you first discover your own MI and would you mind sharing a bit about that and how it has affected your life. If you'd rather not, no biggie, that is fine and I understand.

Ok, my rambling has gone on more than enough so I'll quit here, still not knowing if this post is remotely related to yours.

Anyway, I hope I didn't bore you or put you to sleep altogether.