[chalmette70043]

I can't stand this feeling. I feel like im sucking through a straw so hard my body is tensed up and muscles in my arms and legs have spasms. Then i have this constant on alert, waiting for something to jump at me feeling.

I spend almost all of 24 hours feeling this way. Only way to calm it, not stop it. Is to take an extra klono, but my pdoc doesnt want me doing that.

He says to do exercise, well hell i cant sit still. Moving constantly. And the constant thoughts of worry and anger.

Ya'll ever get like this. What do you do if you do?

[multipixie9]

Chalmette, I do remember something like what you describe only I called it "feeling like someone had poured itching powder in my brain." It was a sense of agitation 24/7 that I had and could not stop or rest or calm down and I had no meds for anxiety at that time.

NOW, what I think it was for me back then was a reaction to medication. It hyped me up like nothing I'd never experienced before. SO..

1. Do you take any medications, for how long, have you kept track of their effects upon you? Also, how much caffeine drinks do you have a day? Do you drink energy drinks like Red Bull?? Do you use decongestants or other over the counter meds? With the way you feel youmust look at Anything you are doing and ask if it could be causing these symptoms and miserable feelings of fear.

2. Do you have any new med. changes? for how long

3. Are there any big, new changes in your life: place you live, job, school, people living in your home or you in their home?

Many things can make a person feel tense, anxious and even afraid. Take a good look at your life and see where you are and if there are any obvious things that may be setting you up for these symptoms!

pm me if i can be of service to you.

leslie and her pixies

[chalmette70043]

Hi Leslie, thanks for responding.

In response to your questions. I have my iced coffee, just a shot and a half in it every morning. No other caffeine. Meds, a few of those. Lamictal, Lithium, Klonopin and recently added welbutrin (last week).

I've been living with this "straw effect" since the storm. Constant the first few weeks then tapered off and was off and on as i'd remember things, see things, find a friend or family member, etc. The past 6months i would say it has started becoming more frequent with the last month, maybe 2 being a constant thing i live with.

There are so many things going on right now to stress me out and have been for the past 4 years. Things i cant fix, but wish i could change. I accept it all for the most part for what it is, but still pissed off.

I keep being told its the bipolar causing me to feel this way, but i probably shoulda posted in ptsd. It seems if this stress isnt directly from the storm its from its after effects.

Personally I don't f'in know or care where its coming from. I just want it fixed and stopped.

(sorry i cursed)

chalmette70043(da parish)

[madisgram]

i'm not a doc, but this sounds to me like a reaction to a med. the ones you listed i'm not sure about their side affects. i was on abilify and could not sit still. it drove me crazy so i know just how you feel. i told my pdoc i had to get off it cause of this. i'm bipolar and there are so many meds out there that don't make you jumpy.
every person who is bp has different symptoms i find. but i find it difficult to think it's the bpd casing the symptoms tho but i could be wrong!
i'd go back to your pdoc and discuss this asap. i hope there is an easy solution for you. if it's a med,then he can put you on something else. first you all will have to dscover which med is causing this if that is the case.
let us know what u discover, k? hope you feel better.

[chalmette70043]

Hi Madis,

I've changed pdoc's a few months back. The first one i had went through the ritual of seeing what med it could be, but came to the conclusion it wasnt my meds. He said its the stress/anxiety going on in my life. Told me therapy will help with that.

I talked to my counsler a few times about it. She agreed with my pdoc. Saying its the past and present i have to face. And i'm fighting it to much.

The new pdoc read my file and spoke with my counsler and he also agrees.

I'm told i've been bipolar since i was probably in my teens if not younger than that. I just didnt know what was wrong with me. I thought, well this is just life. So who the f cares.

Then the storm hit and brought Ptsd with it. A year and a half later i was encouraged by many here to seek help. When the mental health unit opened in the walmart parking lot i went. There i found out i was severly depressed, severe anxiety and ptsd. About 6 months after that i got dx'd bipolar, being told that the storm triggered it and brought it out full blown.

Now im hearing its from going to counseling. It always gets worse before it gets better.

I don't know what it is, but i'd sure like to be off meds period. And just go back to my case of beer a day and smoking my dope. To be stoned and buzzed all day actually made me feel better. It was just when i couldnt be cause of work.

I dont feel like im making any sense here. I cant even comprehend what i just wrote. I just wanna scream at the world, but cant say here what i'd scream.

alright, made enough of an a s s out of myself

[madisgram]

Originally Posted by chalmette70043

Hi Madis,

I've changed pdoc's a few months back. The first one i had went through the ritual of seeing what med it could be, but came to the conclusion it wasnt my meds. He said its the stress/anxiety going on in my life. Told me therapy will help with that.

I talked to my counsler a few times about it. She agreed with my pdoc. Saying its the past and present i have to face. And i'm fighting it to much.

The new pdoc read my file and spoke with my counsler and he also agrees.

I'm told i've been bipolar since i was probably in my teens if not younger than that. I just didnt know what was wrong with me. I thought, well this is just life. So who the f cares.

Then the storm hit and brought Ptsd with it. A year and a half later i was encouraged by many here to seek help. When the mental health unit opened in the walmart parking lot i went. There i found out i was severly depressed, severe anxiety and ptsd. About 6 months after that i got dx'd bipolar, being told that the storm triggered it and brought it out full blown.

Now im hearing its from going to counseling. It always gets worse before it gets better.

I don't know what it is, but i'd sure like to be off meds period. And just go back to my case of beer a day and smoking my dope. To be stoned and buzzed all day actually made me feel better. It was just when i couldnt be cause of work.

I dont feel like im making any sense here. I cant even comprehend what i just wrote. I just wanna scream at the world, but cant say here what i'd scream.

alright, made enough of an a s s out of myself

you made a lot of sense to me!yes stress can really make the body out of whack. sounds like they've ruled out the meds. I admire you for getting help. i had BPD since at least a teen. major depression before that. have ptsd, abuse issues,panic disorder, etc so we have a lot in common...
when you mentioned the beer,etc. it took me back when i thought i was better off on that, d/a. well it worked so good i became an "alkie" and then i had to treat that along with all my other dx's. of course that's just my story. you will have to decide for your own self what is best for you.
sounds like you are actively geting help and i encourage you to continue the therapy. it really helped me a lot!!!! keep "knocking at the door", you'll get better cause you're taking ownership of getting better. that's the key to the whole d...thing. you can pm me anytime if you wish to chat further, too.

[multipixie9]

Chalmette,

hi again. don't worry about "colorful expletives". that is nothing when life is this stressful for you.

if it is not meds then yea it is probably ptsd and bipolar. ptsd i get and i have it and it is rotten, but cureable over time. i don't know bipolar. i am dx with mpd/did, ptsd, depression and anxiety - the fruits of my "colorful" childhood history.

you are doing the hard stuff - so please, don't be so hard on yourself. cut yourself some mental slack. it is hard what you are going through. i hope you find some help and some hope soon.

hang in there and stick around here and let folks be supportive. i believe you will get better.

leslie and the pixies

[chalmette70043]

mutlipixie9 and madisgram, thank ya'll both for all your input and help. I'm sorry i didnt get right back, kinda hit the slopes and went down fast. This welbutrin is playing tricks on me. So far i've calmed down quite a bit. Anxiety still awful. I swear i'm gonna need a whole new set of teeth soon. I'm really down now. But the 'straw effect' has let up for the most part. I'm trying to come out of this depression, at least its not as bad as it could have been. Just very anti-social right now and like being hidden away in my little hole.

hugs