[sqrlb8]

Illustration: Imagine a support group for people who compulsively interrupt. Just as soon as someone in their presence begins to speak, they are helplessly compelled to speak at the same moment. Let's make a support group for them like Interrupters Anonymous. Now imagine they are at their national convention, and thousands of them from fifty states have gathered in a stadium to hear a speach by to be delivered by the world's first fully recovered interrupter. The air crackles with excitement, and nothing else, as thousands of interrupters shift nervously but silently in their seats. Then the speaker approaches the podium. Tension mounts. And as this miraculous personage purses his lips to utter the first consonant of his first syllable, thousands of voices fill the air in a deafening cocophony of chaos. The speake pauses, raises a hand, eventually restoring the silence. But as he draws breath to speak once more....

That's what its like in my head on the manic side. It's all there, or so it seems, and yet to try to utter it causes this surge of ideas to get stuck in the funnel of my brain. Particularly when I try to do this, post about me. I can post about you, without causing this, but not about me. I can read your poems, but can't show you mine. I'm a musician, I can play and sing any song who's voice I can become, but I can't do my own outside of my "closet." Not without this surge of ...anyone got a word for it?

It's excruciatingly difficult to tap out each word while the ten thousand others demand to be heard. And it isn't that I don't want to.

well, too much trembling and tremor now to want to keep going. (sqrlb8 hears a collective sigh of relief from his readers?)

[h0kie]

Good description. It really helps someone who doesn't suffer from bipolar experience what you go through. Thank you for sharing!

[darkeyes]

Thanks for sharing this, I felt similar sensations, and stuff, 5 years ago before being diagnosed with Bipolar -II (mild) perhaps using diet pills triggered this at that time of my life and family problems, but one thing I do know is medication and keeping psychiatrist appts. helped diffuse what I was experiencing, which was like going to an electronic store and hearing all the loud display TV's going on at the same time, much noise, once on mood stabilizers the chaos was gone, my mind was free, and things became more relaxed, stable once again
I had balked about treatment, then I realized how much I needed it and how it has helped me.
At the present, my pdoc has gradually reduced my dosage and has observed that I am doing fine, no episodes, yay!
I hope any of you who are reluctant to see a pdoc for their Bipolar disorder, will reconsider and go get treatment, life is too short to be miserable.
I am happy that this forum gives us a means of communicating and sharing our experience, a great support forum, eh?

Please take care now,
DE

[sqrlb8]

Thanks all of you. Nice comments all, and what an encouraging success story from Darkeyes. Thank you.

Sqrl,

Your post is eloquent and helpful for those of us who do not experience bipolar. It reminds me of Roy20's post about psychosis.........a very informative read for those of us who do not live with the daily reality of psychosis.

We are all better off when we've learned what it is like to walk in another's shoes. Thanks for letting us take a stroll in yours.