[Mikky23]

I really am worried about my friend. I think she might have a borderline personality. She has quick mood changes, goes from feeling happy to sad in a blink of an eye. She was sexually abused as a child, has a history of self harming. She has impulsive actions, examples, driving 150 miles back home because she is paranoid her b/f is cheating on her, and she has just announced she wants a baby, which had come out of nowhere. She has abandonment issues and hates being alone. She is also sexually promiscuous, and when she meets someone knew, she clings to them, but at the same time is mean and horrible behind their back! Other things include, being a chronic liar, making things up to make herslef feel better, examples, saying a model agency and style agency have stopped her in the street and that she is gonna be in the paper, saying people have put notes on her car, even texting herself from a different phone, having pretend aches and pains and saying she has cancer signs.
She talks about death alot, saying she would be pretty if she was dead and all that. She gets stressed alot and always wants a new challenge. Just want to know what could be wrong with her.

[Michah]

Mikky, Hi!! Welcome.......firstly, how old is your friend? How long have you noticed changes in her behaviour? Has Borderline PD been pointed out to her by a healthcare professional or is it something you have researched yourself? How is her relationship with her parents/friends/colleagues/school?

Sorry, lots of questions.......just need a base line.

From what you have said......her behaviour is extreme and sounds like it is escalating. I would be loathe to say either way that it is Borderline. A professional psychiatrist is the only person in this situation with support from a psychologist(who is trained in personality disorders) that can give a dx.

She certainly has features of the disorder........Borderline is infinitely hard to dx. It took 13 weeks to dx me 15 years ago. I was fortunate in the sense that I was "textbook" borderline. I met all the criteria in spades, scored highly in PTSD tests and other personality testing. I also had features of Narcissistic PD and was also dx Schizoeffective. Some people go through years of misdx and tons of meds and wonder why they are not getting better only to find out later from a concerned T that they have borderline. BPD is one of the most insidious, covert, misdx, mental illnesses due to its rocky and unpredictable terrain. It does not follow a pathology and mimics a lot of other mental illnesses. Some stages come before others, some behaviour is evident and some not. Thats why a competent health care professional will take their time in dx, to observe all of the behaviours.

What you can do now is discuss with her the behavior you have noticed(if you haven't already), that you are deeply concerned and that you believe that she needs to get help. It will be a difficult process. As nasty as she is probably feeling, borderline features have a particularly "addictive" component. Even if she knows something is wrong, she may be loathe to do anything about it. Promiscuity, self harm, impulsivity, rage are all addictive to a degree with regards to her pathology. It was with mine. They are all adrenaline fueled along with the inherent lack of concern for personal safety or the "testing of the death boundaries"(thats just my little term for being "on the edge of reason"). She does these things in a desperate need to feel alive, to feel something. It is infinitely unhealthy.

If you feel that she is in danger, you can take her to your nearest Emergency dept. or call the police. If you explain to the police(if she won't come voluntarily) her behaviour and actions, they may be able to have her committed to a psychiatric unit involuntarily. This is if you believe that she may be harmful to herself or others. You are a good friend in asking for help to help your friend. Sometimes though you have to make tough deceisions. Don't be scared to get help. You must also protect yourself. Set emotional and physical boundaries. You can do this and still be very supportive. remember, you cannot "help" her if she does not want to be helped. she must come to that conclusion herself, however, if she becomes "dangerous", you need to call in the big guns to help you.

If you have a doctor, student counsellor or parent that you trust, talk to them of your concerns. They will help guide you. You are welcome to come here anytime. There are many people on here who have loads of experience.

Safety first and you are doing really well in getting a positive outcome.......for you and your friend. Good luck and we are here

In stillness.......

[Mikky23]

hey, thanx for the reply.

Yeh she is 25. She has suffered depression before and last had counselling about 4 years ago. I've know her for about a year and half and she has always behaved strangely, she joined our company and even during her first week, she was saying someone had put a note on her car, saying that some guy wanted her real bad!! It was a lie, so attention seeking straight away.

It's pointless questioning her on her behaviour because she will deny anything is wrong.
If you met her you would think she is perfectly normal, she is clever and good at everything she does, but underneath, she is lost, confused and very troubled.
I think she had such a bad childhood, that she just tries to make up for it by telling lies and living in a fantasy world.

[Michah]

Originally Posted by Mikky23

hey, thanx for the reply.

Yeh she is 25. She has suffered depression before and last had counselling about 4 years ago. I've know her for about a year and half and she has always behaved strangely, she joined our company and even during her first week, she was saying someone had put a note on her car, saying that some guy wanted her real bad!! It was a lie, so attention seeking straight away.

It's pointless questioning her on her behaviour because she will deny anything is wrong.
If you met her you would think she is perfectly normal, she is clever and good at everything she does, but underneath, she is lost, confused and very troubled.
I think she had such a bad childhood, that she just tries to make up for it by telling lies and living in a fantasy world.

Ah yes, the borderline "normality". I was a high achiever, pushed myself into hospital because i would not stop. I have held down very stressful, high profile jobs and started a degree in Science. But the nasty one would raise its head on more than one occasion, just to test me!! Unfortunately, your friends problems will not go away on thier own. The happiest I have ever been in the head is now, housebound and NO expectations. i am sick from chronic physical illness, but I feel like I am on holidays! The house is a mess, I do not work and i am home for my son when he gets home from school. After 15 years of battling my guts out, I am finally having a rest and resolving my health issues. Your friend will eventually realise that she will "burn out" if she doesn't get help.

Unfortunately, some of us have to reach rock bottom before we get help......

good luck, sweetie.......check in and tell us how you are going......