[roxyskater]

Hi again.

Well stupid me decided It might be a good idea to look up my question on the internet!! Low and behold I found an answer!!
So Boardline Personality Disorder accounts for my daily mood swings from calm to sad to hyper to angry to sleepy to withdrawn all in one day, it also explains my suicide attempts and hospitalizations and my refusal to trust or make friends I keep everyone at a healty destance. Except my Hubby of 15 years I still feel like he doesnt love me when hes away from me I get extremely jealous even though he has never given me reason. I do self harm but not to suicidal extents The doctor also said I have phycotic tendencies and I have had what they have called phycotic episodes in which I lose time dont know who anyone id, or where I am or what Im doing and I dont remember anything about it when I come back to reality. I did think so of those symtoms where from PTSD but I guess only the vivid flashbacks and sounds of the past is the PTSD.
Anyway thanks for listening everyone and I still welcome any and all responses.

Sincerely,

Roxy

[ECHOES]

From NIMH at http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publi...et/index.shtml

It is to me about how we perceive ourselves and others and ourselves in relation to others, how we interract with others, how we feel we fit or don't fit into society and the world. All these things lead to the frustrations and anger and hopelessness and fear of being alone and of fear of being abandoned. It isn't that we feel things others don't, but we have more intense reactions that are stronger and/or last longer. It makes it very hard to live the life you want to life, because it is so interfering.

Symptoms

While a person with depression or bipolar disorder typically endures the same mood for weeks, a person with BPD may experience intense bouts of anger, depression, and anxiety that may last only hours, or at most a day.5 These may be associated with episodes of impulsive aggression, self-injury, and drug or alcohol abuse. Distortions in cognition and sense of self can lead to frequent changes in long-term goals, career plans, jobs, friendships, gender identity, and values. Sometimes people with BPD view themselves as fundamentally bad, or unworthy. They may feel unfairly misunderstood or mistreated, bored, empty, and have little idea who they are. Such symptoms are most acute when people with BPD feel isolated and lacking in social support, and may result in frantic efforts to avoid being alone.

People with BPD often have highly unstable patterns of social relationships. While they can develop intense but stormy attachments, their attitudes towards family, friends, and loved ones may suddenly shift from idealization (great admiration and love) to devaluation (intense anger and dislike). Thus, they may form an immediate attachment and idealize the other person, but when a slight separation or conflict occurs, they switch unexpectedly to the other extreme and angrily accuse the other person of not caring for them at all. Even with family members, individuals with BPD are highly sensitive to rejection, reacting with anger and distress to such mild separations as a vacation, a business trip, or a sudden change in plans. These fears of abandonment seem to be related to difficulties feeling emotionally connected to important persons when they are physically absent, leaving the individual with BPD feeling lost and perhaps worthless. Suicide threats and attempts may occur along with anger at perceived abandonment and disappointments.

People with BPD exhibit other impulsive behaviors, such as excessive spending, binge eating and risky sex. BPD often occurs together with other psychiatric problems, particularly bipolar disorder, depression, anxiety disorders, substance abuse, and other personality disorders.

[poet682006]

Originally Posted by ECHOES

It is to me about how we perceive ourselves and others and ourselves in relation to others, how we interract with others, how we feel we fit or don't fit into society and the world. All these things lead to the frustrations and anger and hopelessness and fear of being alone and of fear of being abandoned. It isn't that we feel things others don't, but we have more intense reactions that are stronger and/or last longer. It makes it very hard to live the life you want to life, because it is so interfering.

I've been trying to explain that to someone I care about. We FEEL so much more intensly than others do. It can be a curse or a blessing depending on what the feeling is. Anger or rage, sadness, emptiness: All of these are feel like knives going through us. At the same time we love more deeply and powerfully, feel happiness as euphoria. There are times when I wish I could shut my feelings off, yet I can't imagine not being able to love as I do: And I'm not sure I'd even WANT to.