[morning_view]

Hi everyone

For a long time now I've been having real issues with myself, but I don't know where to turn for help

I'm 22, but think my problems really started properly when I was 18 (but I think the roots of it are much earlier than that) - I totally fell apart in the summer break from university when I was 20, so I went to the doctor to try and explain what was going on and get some help. This doctor put me in 2 minds about it all - He said "well, you sound depressed, but I don't want to just throw some drugs at you, so lets get you some help" - unfortunately I was gong back to uni, so he helped me get some support from my uni's counseling service, which was great - but I don't feel like anyone really understood what was going on with me, just that I was feeling "blue"

So, I've done a lot of research (mainly on here), and all the signs seem to point towards BPD, it just all fits - and things are feeling bad at the moment, because I'm in a Gap year between my degree and my masters, so I've been living at home, and it's hell - mainly because I just don't get on with my parents any more, particularly my dad - we had a massive falling out when he read one of my note books that I use to write about how I'm feeling, and he read all my things about SI, promiscuity (and worse) and just yelled at me about it and wouldn't except anything I had to say - he doesn't understand how people can have mental disorders

Now, the situation with mental health support where I live is terrible - it's a 6-9months waiting list to see a mental health professional - I feel like I want to go back to the doctor and explain what I come up with and what I think is going on with me.... but how do you go to a doctor and tell them how to do their job? - The other thing bothering me is that if I do get a proper diagnosis, I'll just get put on a waiting list that will be a complete waste of time because I'm moving back to uni in september - should I just stick it out and carry on what I'm doing until I move to where I know there are better resources?

Any ideas / info / help you guys can give me will be amazing - I've tried talking to my friends about all this but.... you that feeling you get when you're trying to pour your heart out to someone and they just seem like they're waiting for their turn to speak and their not really listening to you?... Because that how I feel all the time

M_V x

[morning_view]

No-one?....

[Rachie]

I dont think a normal doctor is qualified enough to diagnose you with BPD. Do you live close to a larger town/city that would be able to get you in to see a psychiatrist earlier? If noti say make the appointment with the one in your hometown if you are keen to find out whats wrong with you. Good luck!

[morning_view]

Yeah, see the major problem is that I live on an island, so it's regular doctor or nothing really... When I move back to the mainland in september I've got more available to me.... it's just trying to get through the next three months without going over the edge....

Thanks for replying tho

M_V x

[Rachie]

Well if you have to wait to get off the island ring up and book your appointment now so when you get back you can get in straight away. I had to wait 4 months to see the pdoc so i know how you are feeling. If you need to talk about anything any time feel free to pm me. Wishing you all the best

[morning_view]

thanks rachie, much appreciated - i think i'll get in touch with my new uni's support services asap, see if i can arrange a consultation for my first week there - gonna be a mad time anyway, all the stress of moving added!

M_V x