Borderline PD symptoms description

I'm not diagnosed with this....but getting curious about it. Thanks for the info about Marsha Linehan; it gives me a place to start looking.

It's only through reading this description that i feel some recognition to why i am the way i am. I meet every symptom going, my life has always been chaotic/unstable. I always felt there was something wrong with me all my life have been depressed as a child/ adolescent, with all the other behaviours. picked my skin until it bled from childhood, my mum always told me off for this. My relationships have been always turbulent, yet i hate being on my own not in a relationship.
I hope to meet more people that understand my chaotic behaviours, ive had overdoses, drug/alcohol misuses, eating disorders and self harm with subsequent blood transfusions/stitches.

love t ya all

sounds like me

Can we ever have a "normal and successful" life with BPD? I tried, and failed way too many times, and want to give up

I just wish my depression would go AWAY!! I cancelled my shrink appt on friday. I have another appt on monday. I was crazy the whole time I was talking to his nurse! I lied to her. I never lie to a shrink appt. I have only seen this therapist 2 times. Im sure he is not very happy that he got stuck with me. I was reading alot of the information psyc central has, and I found an answer to a problem Ive Had for years. Go figure!

We all get to define what is normal for us. I think it's a lot harder but, worth working on. Giving up won't get us there. Do you have a therapist to help you?

I hope you can go on Monday. Everyone lies at times. It's perfectly fine to go and say you need to make a correction or clarification. You are just starting, and 2 times is not enough to feel settled and comfortable yet; keep going so you can give yourself the time needed. On Monday, you could discuss the information you have been reading that was helpful.

what's it like to be recovered from borderline personality disorder? i can't even imagine it. i don't want to give up (yet) but it is discouraging to know so many therapists have a hard time dealing with us because we are draining. i dont know. i want to recover but am scared of being rejected.

It sounds like working on what 'rejected' is to you, what it means, how it works within you, what it feels like to you, when it has happened in the past, etc. would be a good place to start.

Other good areas to explore with your therapist are just simply how thoughts can become more than just thoughts; we believe what we think even when what we think is not based on reality, but on our fears. Where do our thoughts stop and another's begin. Do we expect others to have the same thoughts as we do? That's an unrealistic expectation, as we are all separate and we each have our own thoughts. And thoughts are just thoughts. I can think the ocean is pink, but that is just my thought and isn't real. Silly example, but we do that with others, thinking we know their motivations, their hidden agendas we suspect them of having, we think we know their thoughts, but we can't.

Also helpful to explore, and relieving to accept:
That we can't know what we can't know.
That we have no control over anyone or anything but our own self.
That communication can be simple and clarifying.
That fear can be worked on and overcome in layers.
That we can hold opposing thoughts about one thing or one person, and we don't have to push someone away when we have these thoughts; it isn't an either/or, it is the way relationships are. (I really love this about her, but I really don't like that about her.)
That running away is only running away and doesn't fix anything.

and many more. All kinds of things to explore and learn more about where our fears come from, how we view relationships, how we view ourselves, how we can get what we need and even discover what it is we need because that can be hard too. all these things and many more we discover and work through in therapy. Hard and rewarding work. To understand better, to be able to have more realistic expectations of others (and therefore, fewer intense fear and anger reactions), to see our own self worth. So many things that can be better understood to bring a more peaceful and calmer inner world.

I don't think there is one description of 'cured', but there are many layers of freedom and peace. The wonderful thing about the journey to feeling better is that we feel better as we go along. It isn't linear, so we may feel better one week than another, but over time progress will show itself to be a relieving of symptoms and a mind that is freer.

I think as I get older and throw myself into DBT, I mirror this description less and less. But this description was me for most of my life, and if I didn't work extreeeeeeeemely hard every single day, this description would still likely be me to a tee. It is comforting to know that I am not alone, that there are so many others out there with this less-often-talked-about disorder, and to learn slowly that hard work every second of every day does help.

I am new to this forum. At this time I am not currently diagnosed. I am still trying to get into see a psychiatrist and psychologist. Even though I have been seeing my regular Dr for medications and talking to a therapist, it just doesn't feel like I am making any real progress. I had finally hit rock bottom on December 21st. I did something that I feel in my right mind I never would have done. The reason I say this is because I didn't remember starting to do it, let alone doing it all until my b/f finally brought it up the day after Christmas. Once I was able to accept that I had actually done what he had said, because I had to read the letters that I wrote him and to my 10yr old daughter, I had to see the things I was posting in Facebook as status updates, I had to talk to my mother and my sister because I had called them. Telling my mother what I had done. Efforts were made to get my b/f home to me asap.

All I know is at that point I realized its more than just depression that I am suffering from. Its something more. I had never cried so much for being so ashamed of myself for doing something like that to my loved ones. I had to apologize to everyone because I felt they deserved an apology for what I had done.

What has been described here sounds so much like me. I know I can't self-diagnose myself, but things I have read have all seemed to be spot on about me and my behavior. I want help. I need help because all I keep doing is things that ultimately put wedges between the ones I love and me. I just wish that they could understand me, but with all the things I have done, and all the wrongs that have numbed them to me, I'm afraid that even asking them to read up on it, would just get blown off. They think that I always have to make everything about me. Its always me, having a pity party. I know that there is more than just me to my family, but the overwhelming emotions take over. I wish I could remember the trigger on December 21st, but I can't and that scares me. It scares me enough to think that something like that could happen again.

I just need someone who is dealing with BPD to talk with. Someone who knows the feelings and other things caused by it. So if anyone is willing to talk to me to help me with insight, it would mean a lot.

Wow. That's the best description I've heard yet. That completely describes me.

...I really needed to read this description today.

sometimes I get so dis-oriented, it's beyond the point of losing my mind!

losing my mind is familiar to me and aint so bad as losing my grip!

....and each time it happens it's a shock? So where is me and my head and myself at?

it's in the details...thanks ECHOES

thats me too

Wow if only my x could of read this she might understand me more

I was shocked when i first read a list of symptoms for BPD. I finally knew exactly what was wrong with me but of course i felt devastated at just how much there was to contend with. Then of course unless you've got a specialist or someone with a lot of experience in treating those with personality disoriders, most doctors in my experience have behaved really inappropriately towards me - their either punitive in their treatment or overly motherly. It gets tiring when your constantly labelled as attention seeking and manipulative - even by friends and family. *Sigh* Its just one long tiring fight isn't it?

This is me except for one thing. I don't cut but boy do I want to.

Your last sentence says it all. It's one long tiring battle. But I must fight it
little by little. I can't give up. I'm just one raw nerve. My feelings are going to kill me
because I let too much bother me. I have to learn to let go and stop feeling so
much about everything.

I meant to reply to bb2023

Wow, thanks ECHO'S. When the sanity score report came up with traits of Borderline Personality Disorder I denied it was true. For some reason I thought it was worse than the diagnosis I agreed with. Now that I read the definition I see my actions all over the place. Good thing to talk over with my T along with the Sanity Score Report.