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Anonymous32935
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Default Jan 03, 2013 at 07:52 PM
  #281
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Originally Posted by nic25 View Post
that is exactly how i feel right now but if i can hide it sometimes or sometimes think i am ok is it real??
The most hideous thing about BPD is when you feel good, you feel as though you've conquered it, that the worse it over, that you're recovering, and when you feel bad you don't remember how you felt just minutes, days before. You feel as though you are willing to do anything to get rid of the horrible pain. They are both "real" when you feel it, and it's a never-ending cycle...
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CazziWill
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Default Jan 06, 2013 at 12:48 PM
  #282
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The symptoms of borderline patients are similar to those for which most people seek psychiatric help: depression, mood swings, the use and abuse of drugs, alcohol, or food as a means of trying to feel better; obsessions, phobias, feelings of emptiness and loneliness, inability to tolerate being alone.

In addition, these patients displayed great difficulties in controlling ragefulness; they were unusually impulsive, they fell in and out of love suddenly; they tended to idealize other people and then abruptly despise them. A consequence of all this was that they typically looked for help from a therapist and then suddenly quit in terrible disappointment and anger.

Underneath all these symptoms, therapists began to see in borderline people an inability to tolerate the levels of anxiety, frustration, rejection and loss that most people are able to put up with, an inability to soothe and comfort themselves when they become upset, and an inability to control the impulses toward the expression, through action, of love and hate that most people are able to hold in check. What seems to be of central importance in the symptoms and difficulties mentioned above is that the hallmark of the "borderline" personality is great difficulty in holding on to a stable, consistent sense of one's self: "What am I?" these people ask. "My life is in chaos; sometimes I feel like I can do anything—other times I want to die because I feel so incompetent, helpless and loathsome. I'm a lot of different people instead of being just one person."

The one word that best characterizes borderline personality is "instability." Emotions are unstable, fluctuating wildly, often for no discernible reason. Thought processes are unstable—rational and clear at times, quite extreme and distorted at other times. Behavior is unstable—often with periods of excellent conduct, high efficiency and trustworthiness alternating with outbreaks of regression to childlike states of helplessness and anger, suddenly quitting a job, withdrawing into isolation, failing.

Self control is unstable leading to impulsive behaviors and chaotic relationships. A person with borderline personality disorder may sacrifice themselves for others, only to reach their limit and suddenly fly into rageful reproaches, or they may curry favor through obedient submission only to rebel, out of the blue, in a tantrum.

Associated with this instability is terrible anxiety, guilt and self-loathing for which relief is sought at any cost—medicine, drugs, alcohol, overeating, suicide. Sadly, oddly, self-injury is discovered by many borderline people to provide faster relief than anything else—cutting or burning themselves stops the anxiety temporarily.

The effect upon others of all this trouble is profound: family members never know what to expect from their volatile child, siblings, or spouse, except they know they can expect trouble: suicide threats and attempts, self-inflicted injuries, outbursts of rage and recrimination, impulsive marriages, divorces, pregnancies and abortions; repeated starting and stopping of jobs and school careers, and a pervasive sense, on the part of the family, of being unable to help.
Thanks for such an insightful and 'real' way to learn about the specifics of BPD. I haven't been diagnosed as such, but due to new Govt regulations - basically by monitoring medications for any mental health condition, ie anti-depressants etc such as my case - funding is provided to seek help from psychologists/psychiatrists etc (specialized as opposed to a GP) - I now have officially been diagnosed with ADHD and Depression but hasn't really got to anymore probing as such - but haven't been back to psychologist for the last appointment (you get 10) because she was no help to me in the "how do I deal with this jaw dropping moment of always thinking somethings wrong with me but never known what" side of things whatsoever. just helpful in a legal way - ie medication for the ADHD - but went from really liking this person that I could talk to without judging me, to not liking immediately from the lack of guidance etc I needed from her. ....anyway....sorry needed to just fill you in on a little history to ask my question....this explanation you've given has described me down to an absolute T, a couple of things really finalized the possibility of me having BPD - which I've only looked into (aka your blogs and others) by curiosity, when researching everywhere trying to figure out about dealing etc with my ADHD - okay here's my question - Could I have been misdiagnosed with ADHD (I have hyperactivity & inattention and was apparent as a child as required for diagnosis) INSTEAD of BPD as all my concerns, issues and behaviors all mimic both of these - OR MAYBE BOTH?? Please help me if you or anyone can relate to this or could steer me in right direction or, anything? I'm on Dexy which is really helpful and quite a Godsend for the ADHD and currently on Wellbutrin for depression - as I'm going through the motions of no anti-depressant working on me whatsoever, this is about the 6th one that I thought could be the one, but alas it isn't. Thank you and at the least thanks for listening!!

Last edited by FooZe; Jan 06, 2013 at 05:34 PM.. Reason: fixed broken quote tag
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Default Jan 08, 2013 at 07:47 PM
  #283
I think that description sounds exactly like me. I asked my therapist about borderline personality disorder, and she said that it is more likely that I have an attachment disorder, and that these types of disorders have a significant overlap in symptoms. I can't seem to find much information online about attachment disorders in adults. Does anyone have any insight as to the similarities and differences between these two types of disorders?
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Default Jan 09, 2013 at 05:24 AM
  #284
sisokie, I think that they are so similar that your therapist might just choose to call it Attachment Disorder. I don't know, of course, but I'm guessing.
It seems to me that attachment issues are a big part of BPD, so I have a hard time separating them. Maybe Attachment Disorder is more specified. It would be helpful and interesting for you to talk more with your therapist about this and the differences, and see what she says about it, and about you specifically
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Default Jan 09, 2013 at 02:19 PM
  #285
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Originally Posted by sisokie View Post
I think that description sounds exactly like me. I asked my therapist about borderline personality disorder, and she said that it is more likely that I have an attachment disorder, and that these types of disorders have a significant overlap in symptoms. I can't seem to find much information online about attachment disorders in adults. Does anyone have any insight as to the similarities and differences between these two types of disorders?
A lot of therapists don't want to diagnose BPD. Many are at a loss on how to treat it since it cannot be cured by drugs and traditional talk therapy doesn't always work either. Also, insurances don't always cover BPD. I think that if your therapist cannot competently explain the difference between what you have and BPD, it's time to possibly look around for someone else who knows how to successfully treat what you have instead of just calling what you have something else.
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Default Jan 09, 2013 at 02:29 PM
  #286
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Originally Posted by Maranara View Post
A lot of therapists don't want to diagnose BPD. Many are at a loss on how to treat it since it cannot be cured by drugs and traditional talk therapy doesn't always work either. Also, insurances don't always cover BPD. I think that if your therapist cannot competently explain the difference between what you have and BPD, it's time to possibly look around for someone else who knows how to successfully treat what you have instead of just calling what you have something else.
My therapist is extremely competent and could certainly explain the differences between the two types of disorders, but I failed to ask more questions because I was too shy. And I know she wouldn't refuse to treat a patient with BPD. When I first located her, I e-mailed her to ask if she had experience working with BPD. She said that she did and would be happy to work with me. So I think it's mostly me being too shy to ask her more questions. I don't like to appear uneducated, so I suppose I try to find the information elsewhere first.

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Default Jan 15, 2013 at 01:40 PM
  #287
g*d I hate it.

It's good, stiil, to know that I am not alone. I am trying to kick this bpd where the sun don't shine!

thanks,

Carol

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Default Jan 21, 2013 at 04:23 PM
  #288
glad to know it's not just impatience and anger management issues like my parents claimed all my life...

this is very much me.
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Default Jan 22, 2013 at 11:30 AM
  #289
To the OP;

Goodness... so much me! I'm stunned how accurate and fitting this description is.

What I am shocked at is the fact that despite such clear accounts of the symptoms and the "inscape" of BPD available, whenever I sought medical help, all my doctors could come up with were the most random - or, on occasions hideously unscientific - "diagnoses", ranging from anxiety to demonic disturbance.

One DOES feel it is still the Middle Ages, when it comes to mental health.

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Default Feb 06, 2013 at 08:32 PM
  #290
i havent been diagnosed with bpd or anything else...but this sounds like me. ive just started therapy very recently, so we'll see what comes out of it. ive believed for a few years now that i have bpd. very strongly believe so.
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Default Feb 11, 2013 at 12:33 AM
  #291
Its me too. Its all of us. Does it not make anyone else feel like their entire being, the entirety of who you are is characterized by a disorder, that we all fit into this little box? That when our parents told us we were special and unique and whatever other bs, they were lying and didn't know what they were talking about. Because "us", we are all the same. I don't even know myself anymore, and finding out that I have this has made it so much worse.
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Default Feb 11, 2013 at 09:45 PM
  #292
We are not our diagnosis. Very good point to bring to the forum. There's so much more about ourselves to love. That's how I feel right now. Ask again in an hour! LOL!
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Default Feb 15, 2013 at 04:11 PM
  #293
You know, I've had periods of my life where I have not been like this and come out of it for a period. Bur I am once again back in this place. I can relate to all, but I have been with the same man 17 years and not cheated on him. with everyone I've met that seems out of the norm for bpd. we have def had our issues because of impulsivity ans rage though. Its really not a fun disorder to have but i am learning useful tools.
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Default Feb 17, 2013 at 06:44 PM
  #294
It's been years since I've cheated. We're on here for honesty right? When I'm in a DEFINITE relationship I don't cheat. I keep the communication clear that I'm seeing other people if I am.
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Thumbs up Feb 17, 2013 at 06:49 PM
  #295
And to answer earlier ?'s............I got diagnosed Bipolar Disorder because I've had manic episodes that lasted longer than two weeks. That's all you need. Two manic episodes longer than a week. The two also come together a lot. They're closely related cousins. I also was sober. You need to be sober when you have these manic episodes. Not an insult just a thought. Hope this helped.
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Default Mar 05, 2013 at 11:11 AM
  #296
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Its me too. Its all of us. Does it not make anyone else feel like their entire being, the entirety of who you are is characterized by a disorder, that we all fit into this little box? That when our parents told us we were special and unique and whatever other bs, they were lying and didn't know what they were talking about. Because "us", we are all the same. I don't even know myself anymore, and finding out that I have this has made it so much worse.
Yeah, my oldest sister used to tell me that I was special and more "aware" than other people--that I was more "deep" and blah, blah, blah. My mom and the rest of the family just thought I was angry, defensive and bratty.

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Shocked Mar 07, 2013 at 01:14 AM
  #297
Wow.......
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Default Mar 08, 2013 at 05:46 PM
  #298
cheers to us!!!

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Default Mar 09, 2013 at 03:19 AM
  #299
Are there gray areas with this? I feel like that's true for the most part for me, but others not so much. help?

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Default Mar 14, 2013 at 11:23 AM
  #300
The one word that best characterizes borderline personality is "instability." Emotions are unstable, fluctuating wildly, often for no discernible reason. Thought processes are unstable—rational and clear at times, quite extreme and distorted at other times. Behavior is unstable—often with periods of excellent conduct, high efficiency and trustworthiness alternating with outbreaks of regression to childlike states of helplessness and anger, suddenly quitting a job, withdrawing into isolation, failing.

Self control is unstable leading to impulsive behaviors and chaotic relationships. A person with borderline personality disorder may sacrifice themselves for others,

Associated with this instability is terrible anxiety

Hello, I am new here and not too sure how to go about dealing with this. I have not been diagnosed yet, but seeing a psychologist.

What I have underlined fits me perfectly. The thing is, these traits only come out when I am in a relationship. I have no anger, no tantrums, but I have great insecurities.

I have recently been dumped. It is a first for me, I usually let go before, but this time it was not the case. I completely lost myself in that 2 and 1 /2 year relationship. I lived for him. Was always worried he'd abandon me.

I was adopted and raised in an alcoholic family, so I am wondering if that can have any thing to do about it.
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