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  #351  
Old Sep 20, 2013, 10:16 AM
LeDerp LeDerp is offline
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Also, I find that who I am changes radically depending on who I'm with. However when I'm alone I have no clue who I REALLY am (am I kind? Am I cruel? Do I really like metal or do I love opera? Etc... (I couldn't think of better examples)).
I also find myself lying a lot for no real reason or simply to have a story to tell.
Are these characteristics of BPD?

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  #352  
Old Sep 20, 2013, 04:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LeDerp View Post
Also, I find that who I am changes radically depending on who I'm with. However when I'm alone I have no clue who I REALLY am (am I kind? Am I cruel? Do I really like metal or do I love opera? Etc... (I couldn't think of better examples)).
I also find myself lying a lot for no real reason or simply to have a story to tell.
Are these characteristics of BPD?

Thanks again!
Yes and I believe there can be some variation to it too. For example, if I'm around some one I don't like, I won't become more like that person or even care any thing about him. I will have to ignore him or most likely insult him. When I am alone I don't really have an identity however I can take any one on I have in reserve. Like changing hats. I often wonder exactly what is my own personality and come up blank. I can only see what I want to be at that moment or nothing.
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  #353  
Old Oct 03, 2013, 09:25 PM
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That really says it, doesn't it?! I'm new to recognising I have this disorder, and possibly another (in process of being prof'ly diagnosed), and it's so good to read things like this and be able to show it to my husband ... No wonder it's such frickin hard constant internal work just to function everyday...!!
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  #354  
Old Oct 07, 2013, 12:51 PM
TiffyGX TiffyGX is offline
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Thank you for that description. I related to it perfectly with the single exception of the last paragraph which as it may be a common thing to see in BPDs, is a little out there so I don't consider myself out of the range of this just because the last paragraph doesn't apply to me. Anyway. Posted it in my notes on Facebook. Hopefuly this will help people in my envirement understand my behaviors. Not making any excuses but mearly explaning myself.
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  #355  
Old Oct 11, 2013, 10:59 PM
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I have SI and will do it again if given the chance such as now as I will look for the knives
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  #356  
Old Oct 14, 2013, 03:01 PM
Depression Beard Depression Beard is offline
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Frantic efforts to avoid abandonment:

I have got to the point where I have distanced myself from nearly everyone because I don't feel like anyone would want to hang around with me. Im convinced I can read peoples minds and their thoughts about me which are 99% negative. I think I can read body language like a NLP pro. I also know this is mainly in my head, but the niggling doubt I have about myself makes me steer clear of attempting to forge relationships. From bitter experience I can no longer face (perceived or real) rejection, so I choose loneliness.
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  #357  
Old Oct 29, 2013, 08:04 PM
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ME TOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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  #358  
Old Nov 02, 2013, 04:21 AM
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tohelpafriend tohelpafriend is offline
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I feel that way today, too. BPD I think is a coping strategy but uncovering
the causes is the challenge. The personality can cope with only so much....borderlines need to be more protective and draw boundaries, because they are loving and volatile....hang in there....
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Last edited by darkpurplesecrets; Mar 07, 2014 at 06:20 AM. Reason: administrative edit............
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  #359  
Old Nov 02, 2013, 04:28 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Depression Beard View Post
Frantic efforts to avoid abandonment:

I have got to the point where I have distanced myself from nearly everyone because I don't feel like anyone would want to hang around with me. Im convinced I can read peoples minds and their thoughts about me which are 99% negative. I think I can read body language like a NLP pro. I also know this is mainly in my head, but the niggling doubt I have about myself makes me steer clear of attempting to forge relationships. From bitter experience I can no longer face (perceived or real) rejection, so I choose loneliness.
Hi...hopefully that condition of being alone will not last forever.....I do agree at a certain point in life, enough is enough of anything.....do you know where the doubt comes from? I can feel the personality of someone by reading what they write.
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  #360  
Old Nov 04, 2013, 08:47 AM
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def relate..
  #361  
Old Nov 04, 2013, 08:10 PM
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a very precise description of myself, sadly.. but some addition to my knowledge about bpd, so thanks... still trying to figure out what i should do now that i know about these odd personality i'm having hiks
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  #362  
Old Nov 08, 2013, 09:56 AM
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Originally Posted by Pup View Post
Me down to a T.
me too. I can totally relate.... to everything.
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  #363  
Old Nov 08, 2013, 10:02 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pup View Post
Me down to a T.
me too. I can totally relate.... to everything. everyday is a struggle. ups
and downs... nothinng real neutral. rage, etc....
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  #364  
Old Nov 12, 2013, 02:24 PM
lynn808 lynn808 is offline
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WOW!!!! I feel this really describes me and will help me when I see my new therapist thanks for the info....


Quote:
Originally Posted by ECHOES View Post
I like this description of BPD because it is more than just a list, and I suppose because I relate to it very much. Learning more about BPD has helped me slow down the processes and find words for what is going on.

When this diagnosis is offered, it isn't always offered as an explanation for how we relate to ourselves and others and the intense emotions that result.
It is a complex way of being, as one thing affects another..affects another. It is no wonder we often feel overwhelmed.
I feel so fortunate to have a psychotherapist who understands, accepts, and is kind and patient.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
from the site: Personality Disorders Institute, borderline personality disorders, psychotherapy, psychiatry, and mental health, public

The symptoms of borderline patients are similar to those for which most people seek psychiatric help: depression, mood swings, the use and abuse of drugs, alcohol, or food as a means of trying to feel better; obsessions, phobias, feelings of emptiness and loneliness, inability to tolerate being alone.

In addition, these patients displayed great difficulties in controlling ragefulness; they were unusually impulsive, they fell in and out of love suddenly; they tended to idealize other people and then abruptly despise them. A consequence of all this was that they typically looked for help from a therapist and then suddenly quit in terrible disappointment and anger.

Underneath all these symptoms, therapists began to see in borderline people an inability to tolerate the levels of anxiety, frustration, rejection and loss that most people are able to put up with, an inability to soothe and comfort themselves when they become upset, and an inability to control the impulses toward the expression, through action, of love and hate that most people are able to hold in check. What seems to be of central importance in the symptoms and difficulties mentioned above is that the hallmark of the "borderline" personality is great difficulty in holding on to a stable, consistent sense of one's self: "What am I?" these people ask. "My life is in chaos; sometimes I feel like I can do anything—other times I want to die because I feel so incompetent, helpless and loathsome. I'm a lot of different people instead of being just one person."

The one word that best characterizes borderline personality is "instability." Emotions are unstable, fluctuating wildly, often for no discernible reason. Thought processes are unstable—rational and clear at times, quite extreme and distorted at other times. Behavior is unstable—often with periods of excellent conduct, high efficiency and trustworthiness alternating with outbreaks of regression to childlike states of helplessness and anger, suddenly quitting a job, withdrawing into isolation, failing.

Self control is unstable leading to impulsive behaviors and chaotic relationships. A person with borderline personality disorder may sacrifice themselves for others, only to reach their limit and suddenly fly into rageful reproaches, or they may curry favor through obedient submission only to rebel, out of the blue, in a tantrum.

Associated with this instability is terrible anxiety, guilt and self-loathing for which relief is sought at any cost—medicine, drugs, alcohol, overeating, suicide. Sadly, oddly, self-injury is discovered by many borderline people to provide faster relief than anything else—cutting or burning themselves stops the anxiety temporarily.

The effect upon others of all this trouble is profound: family members never know what to expect from their volatile child, siblings, or spouse, except they know they can expect trouble: suicide threats and attempts, self-inflicted injuries, outbursts of rage and recrimination, impulsive marriages, divorces, pregnancies and abortions; repeated starting and stopping of jobs and school careers, and a pervasive sense, on the part of the family, of being unable to help.
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  #365  
Old Nov 14, 2013, 09:34 PM
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So,I have BPD too? Because the descriptions are so much like what I had been experience..
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  #366  
Old Dec 04, 2013, 06:15 AM
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Most of this sound familiar which is scary. Most of it came in the last 2 years since MS symptoms started.
SamanthaAnne
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  #367  
Old Dec 11, 2013, 10:25 PM
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me to a t
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  #368  
Old Dec 16, 2013, 11:38 AM
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Me too!! to a tee.
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  #369  
Old Dec 16, 2013, 11:44 AM
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Such a relief to be with others like me.
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  #370  
Old Jan 08, 2014, 08:23 PM
Vunderful Vunderful is offline
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I feel like this describes me, with an exception to the "love" part. I remain wary of rejection, so I allow myself to "like" a person to a reasonable extent so I don't end up missing the relationship if/when it ends.

As far as intimate love (spouse, etc), I don't know if it really exists, or if it's just an idea that two people share...
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  #371  
Old Feb 16, 2014, 02:53 PM
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FreeFall FreeFall is offline
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So what happens when the chaos wins? When you are neutralized and can't move? Some days I feel as if I can't even breathe - I literally gasp for air. I perspire. Anything I do manage to accomplish is me, being a fraud, and getting whatever it is done as quickly as possible so that I can withdraw again. I rarely even leave my house. My husband tries to cover for me, but on the flip side, he's angry and some days I feel he deliberately does things to provoke me as payback for me not being fully functional. This is the worst feeling in the world. This being frozen, useless, worthless.
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  #372  
Old Feb 17, 2014, 02:26 PM
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I am in tears right now. To see what I feel, able to be expressed in words it is very scary. To see yourself this way, and worse yet to see yourself the way your loved ones see you everyday. It's so hard not to feel in the way, a burden, so broken....
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  #373  
Old Feb 17, 2014, 04:05 PM
_bpanoc _bpanoc is offline
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I love this description because it doesn't tell it like there is something necessarily wrong, it just is.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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  #374  
Old Feb 19, 2014, 09:46 PM
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This makes sense to me...which means it sounds familiar. I don't have the rage I used to have, but I'm left with the loneliness that comes with feeling unworthy somehow. Does feeling better about what I can contribute to a healthy personal relationship just come with time?
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  #375  
Old Feb 22, 2014, 04:55 AM
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tohelpafriend tohelpafriend is offline
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I agree with what Vunderful wrote about intimate love....I think it is an idea.....for women, usually a dream fulfillment or just not to be alone. I wish I lived in a more laid back community where people actually smile in public; here it is all very harsh, most businesses are so greedy I have to fight every day not to get ripped off by some contractor or dentist...so, then my defense is to retreat, the bridge goes up and I lock myself in. It is frustrating for me, with certain borderline traits, because I think I'm highly sociable, but also guarded around people, so that I don't let my guard down and feel inhibited, except I'm very funny and can make people laugh. I also have dramatic highs, but have never done anything destructive. I think my sweet dog gets me, though, and I feel safe with her. Enough of this...it is way too late to be up and writing. The more I examine this, the stronger I feel about a change of locale for awhile.
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"Men’s vows are women’s traitors".

Act 3, Scene 4 - "Cymbeline", by William Shakespeare
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