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msshaz72
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Default Mar 16, 2013 at 05:44 AM
  #301
wow frustrating as hell though
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Default Mar 23, 2013 at 09:20 PM
  #302
Perdue:

Relationships are where borderline personality people have a problem. My daughter-in-law was jealous of the relationship I had with my son and grandchildren. It seems that people who pay too much attention to her loved ones makes her feel so insecure. She has lost a lot of her friends because they really liked my son. They seemed to pose a threat to her.
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Confused Mar 25, 2013 at 08:02 AM
  #303
Yep this is so me. There are maybe a couple to slight few things on the list that may have been the case way in the past (suicidal attempts to self-injury) but the rest of this fits me to a tee.

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Heart Mar 25, 2013 at 06:21 PM
  #304
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Originally Posted by wadingthruemotions View Post
Yep this is so me. There are maybe a couple to slight few things on the list that may have been the case way in the past (suicidal attempts to self-injury) but the rest of this fits me to a tee.

Hope that you are getting help. You need lots of support to cope with this. All the best.:
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Sleepyhead12
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Default Mar 27, 2013 at 07:02 AM
  #305
I was recently diagnosed with a lot of BPD traits, however I can't identify with self loathing and self harm part which I believe most other sufferers have issues with so does that make me a fake BPD? I am by no means narcissistic but I pity myself and the inner child in me more so I really don't want to hurt her anymore that what she's going through. I also don't depend on any drugs, food or alcohol but I was very promiscuous in my 20's but I somehow overcame that habit. I am now 31.
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Chat Mar 27, 2013 at 07:22 PM
  #306
Anyone here already in 'official' therapy for BPD? Is group therapy really needed and do you have to do that if you are really against it?
Anyone found something that really works for them to control the impulses and instability that one has with this condition?

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"Death is easy, peaceful: Life is harder"

"The Day You Turned On Me Is The Day I Died,
And I've Forgotten What It's Like,
And How It Feels To Be Alive" (Daughtry-Gone)

"And you always want what you're running from. It's always been that way." Bittersweet Lyrics by Ellie Goulding

"The reason I hold on, cause I need this hole gone." (Stay by Rihanna)

"The opposite of love's indifference." (Stubborn Love, The Lumineers)
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Default Mar 28, 2013 at 11:52 PM
  #307
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Originally Posted by wadingthruemotions View Post
Anyone here already in 'official' therapy for BPD? Is group therapy really needed and do you have to do that if you are really against it?
Anyone found something that really works for them to control the impulses and instability that one has with this condition?
I am in "official" therapy for BPD its called DBT. Here they do DBT in a group therapy format other places they could have one on one.

with the impulses I try distraction techniques and they have me on drug to try to control my impulses but I don't see it working as much since I still have the urges to do lots of things.

I hoped this at least helps answer your questions

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Lightbulb Apr 06, 2013 at 04:00 PM
  #308
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Originally Posted by Pollywannacracker View Post
Perdue:

Relationships are where borderline personality people have a problem. My daughter-in-law was jealous of the relationship I had with my son and grandchildren. It seems that people who pay too much attention to her loved ones makes her feel so insecure. She has lost a lot of her friends because they really liked my son. They seemed to pose a threat to her.
Hi,
I agree, relationships can be problematic for those who have identified "their own" symptoms and acting out, choosing relationships that are dangerous, unavailable, or they choose to use their defense mechanisms. My T and I started Marsha Linehan's course, but I just wasn't getting any "changes". Borderlines can be stress and/or depressed if they are not busy and hardworking - it gives some measure of satisfaction to fill the void of their emotional state and/or desires to be in a committed relationship.

These are things I've identified in me...they can be several combinations, and I think M. Linehan was onto something. They exercises take alot of review and practice

Our childhood and interactions with parents/sibs/peers have had a huge impact on us. You have to know deep down who you are and the talents you are to pursue in life,or you will forever be acting out someone else. I did acting in college and now I long to try that again, as an outlet.

Some borderlines are perfectionists, but most are not manipulative or controlling (I am sure of this; nor am I passive) and most can id those who are and these are toxic people to avoid socially, or in a close relationship. Some borderlines also suffer from sociopathy with damed up bad emotions from childhood ( 1 - 6), be it from abuse or non-validity.

Last time I checked the forums for BPD, it didn't happen.

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Default Apr 08, 2013 at 03:48 AM
  #309
Yep Thats me too and unfortunatley my oldest son has this horrible disease now
and I have my doubts now on my middle son having Asperger's
I personally think it is BPD but he's only 11 so for now I will just go with it .
Thanks again for posting this I needed to read this again today x

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Default Apr 12, 2013 at 02:04 AM
  #310
Thank you for all of the powerful information. It has stirred up a lot in me. I also appreciate the link to the web site. Peace
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Default Apr 12, 2013 at 02:12 AM
  #311
I have to add that what really pisses me off is that I've been diagnosed as having BPD and I only identify with 4 characteristics/traits. I don't have any problems with relationships. I have wonderful friends and great relationships with my siblings (parents deceased). I am not impulsive and has never engaged an any risky behavior. My abandonment issues are very subtle. I have learned to deal with them over time because I have come to trust and believe that my loved ones will never leave me no matter how bad I may feel about myself. So how I am suppose to deal with these feelings and or the diagnosis? Anyone out there feel the same?
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Default Apr 12, 2013 at 06:37 PM
  #312
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I have to add that what really pisses me off is that I've been diagnosed as having BPD and I only identify with 4 characteristics/traits. I don't have any problems with relationships. I have wonderful friends and great relationships with my siblings (parents deceased). I am not impulsive and has never engaged an any risky behavior. My abandonment issues are very subtle. I have learned to deal with them over time because I have come to trust and believe that my loved ones will never leave me no matter how bad I may feel about myself. So how I am suppose to deal with these feelings and or the diagnosis? Anyone out there feel the same?
You have to remember that all diagnoses are based on what someone observes in you. They are not always correct. Many, many BPDs are diagnosed with bipolar before BPD. It could always be wrong. Take it at face value. If you have problems with unstable emotions/emotional dysfunction-dysregulation, the strategies to cope with BPD (meditation, DBT) will work for you regardless of whether you are full-blown BPD or not.
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Default Apr 13, 2013 at 03:18 AM
  #313
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You have to remember that all diagnoses are based on what someone observes in you. They are not always correct. Many, many BPDs are diagnosed with bipolar before BPD. It could always be wrong. Take it at face value. If you have problems with unstable emotions/emotional dysfunction-dysregulation, the strategies to cope with BPD (meditation, DBT) will work for you regardless of whether you are full-blown BPD or not.
I appreciate your response. Thank you
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Default Apr 13, 2013 at 09:34 AM
  #314
Sounds like Tink J.R. was right apparently. Tink is a friend of mine by the way.
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Default Apr 15, 2013 at 01:34 PM
  #315
Most of what is in the first post I can identify with except the trait of not being able to be alone. I took the sanity quiz and BPD was listed as a major concern. But if I understand the post correctly, inability to tolerate being alone is central to the disorder.

Confusing.
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Default Apr 15, 2013 at 01:41 PM
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Most of what is in the first post I can identify with except the trait of not being able to be alone. I took the sanity quiz and BPD was listed as a major concern. But if I understand the post correctly, inability to tolerate being alone is central to the disorder.

Confusing.
That is not exactly correct. Many of us thrive on being alone. The problem is the lack of identity. We don't really know who we are and have a tendancy of latching on to others and taking over parts of their identities (acting like them, taking on their likes/dislikes, etc). When they leave, it's as though a part of us walked out the door too and that can be very hard to deal with. I, for one, am good with being alone. I feel like I kinda know who I am when I'm alone, but when other people are in the picture for any length of time, it makes their going away hard for a while. When that passes, I'm fine with being alone again. I hope that makes sense.
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Default Apr 15, 2013 at 01:55 PM
  #317
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That is not exactly correct. Many of us thrive on being alone. The problem is the lack of identity. We don't really know who we are and have a tendancy of latching on to others and taking over parts of their identities (acting like them, taking on their likes/dislikes, etc). When they leave, it's as though a part of us walked out the door too and that can be very hard to deal with. I, for one, am good with being alone. I feel like I kinda know who I am when I'm alone, but when other people are in the picture for any length of time, it makes their going away hard for a while. When that passes, I'm fine with being alone again. I hope that makes sense.
I often feel that I don't really have a self. All of my life I've been able to assume different personalities depending upon the situation I'm presented with. Always thought of it as a gift as it's gotten by butt out of trouble more than a few times.
Also, I'll often imagine what it's like being a particular person to the point of taking on some of their characteristics. People that have been in my life are sometimes confused by this but on the other hand, I've been told that I do have some traits that are consistent such as intelligent, interested in the arts and sciences, and conservative in most matters.
Does any of this make sense?
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Default Apr 15, 2013 at 02:00 PM
  #318
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I often feel that I don't really have a self. All of my life I've been able to assume different personalities depending upon the situation I'm presented with. Always thought of it as a gift as it's gotten by butt out of trouble more than a few times.
Also, I'll often imagine what it's like being a particular person to the point of taking on some of their characteristics. People that have been in my life are sometimes confused by this but on the other hand, I've been told that I do have some traits that are consistent such as intelligent, interested in the arts and sciences, and conservative in most matters.
Does any of this make sense?
Not having a self can be both a blessing and a curse. A blessing that we can fit in to any group, assume any job and usually do fine. A curse in that we can find ourselves get too close to others which can lead to issues. Look back in the threads some. There are several on just this subject, and it does make sense.
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Default Apr 17, 2013 at 06:12 AM
  #319
It's interesting how the emotional intensity of BPD is so similar to rapid cycling bipolar. Perhaps they are one and the same. The distinction being those with BPD had childhood trauma on top of their already unstable/highly reactive emotions?
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Default Apr 18, 2013 at 08:19 AM
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It's interesting how the emotional intensity of BPD is so similar to rapid cycling bipolar. Perhaps they are one and the same. The distinction being those with BPD had childhood trauma on top of their already unstable/highly reactive emotions?
BPDs can cycle much faster, can literally go through 4-5 intense emotions in the course of a few minutes while even rapidly cycling bipolar takes considerably more time. Also, bipolar can be "cured" by the proper meds. While meds can sometimes take the edge off for BPDs, it cannot solve the problem.
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