[pippalouu]

hey how was everyones weekendd? mine was great. exceept for a minor slip up. my boyfriend caught me though. i really dont want to die, but somthing in myh head tells mee to.i really dont know what to do, its like one part of me says that i should die because i just make everyones world worst, but then its like i want to live, i dont know if its because of my BPD, but i was wondering if anyone else feels the same? i do slip up somtimes and SI too. i have "supposedly" stopped and i cant say im trying bc i know i could stop if i just be dedicated to it. its hard to go into therapy and saying that i failed my loved ones & MYSELF and saying that i cut. i dont know what to do exactly :////


any advice?

Hello, pippalouu. What you do exactly is get professional help, be open and honest and get better.

[Squaw]

Originally Posted by pippalouu

hey how was everyones weekendd? mine was great. exceept for a minor slip up trying to overdose on my effexor depression and anxitey medication. my boyfriend caught me though. i really dont want to die, but somthing in myh head tells mee to.i really dont know what to do, its like one part of me says that i should die because i just make everyones world worst, but then its like i want to live, i dont know if its because of my BPD, but i was wondering if anyone else feels the same? i do slip up somtimes and SI too. i have "supposedly" stopped and i cant say im trying bc i know i could stop if i just be dedicated to it. its hard to go into therapy and saying that i failed my loved ones & MYSELF and saying that i cut. i dont know what to do exactly :////


any advice?

I agree with The Byzantine about getting professional help, first and foremost, especially with the doc that prescribed the Effexxor. That drug, like others, can cause some people to hear voices that tell them to harm themselves, or that you failed in some way. DON'T BELIEVE THIS! See a psychiatrist or psychologist, rather than just a primary care physician. They know what's best in these situations. Please take care. We're all here for each other. Keep us posted. ♥

[slowinmi]

pippalouu

I agree with the others that help is what you need. I know that can be very hard when you are in high school. The best person to talk to is your doctor, but if you can't get an appointment right away, is there a school counselor or priest that you can talk to until you get on the right path? I'm sure your boyfriend would also be supportive.

It looks as if you have plans for your life and you have a good heart and want to help people. We're here to help you accomplish that with support when you need it. We're glad you joined us. You can talk to us anytime. The next time you feel like cutting if there is no one there for you IRL, please head up to the chat rooms. There is usually someone there who will listen. Take care -

slow

[Aunt Donna]

How are you doing, pippalouu?

[willowjames]

hello and welcom, i hpe things begin to look up for you

[Jetsfan69]

pippalouu
I agree with everyone that you need therapy... howevr I can relate to what you feel and what you're going thru... if u have any questions and wanna talk... hit me on on pm

[jontank]

I have never cut myself, but I would want someone else to hurt me. can anyone relate?

[pippalouu]

i stopped seeing my psychologist & they switched my medicine i have been clean for a while.