[Rachie]

It has been 6 months since I broke up with my bf, and in a way I regret it. I was miserable as hell in the relationship, but at least I wasn't lonely I hate it. To me it now feels like im destined to be alone forever. I don't even get any sort of flirting or 'attention' from the opposite sex. I don't blame them though I wouldn't want me either... Sorry im carrying on like an idiot. Sorry if I have wasted anyones time. Just needed to let that out I suppose

sorry things are so hard for you right now

[Julial]

((((Rachie)))) You have come to the right place for when you are lonely. We love and care what happens with you. Keep the faith.

[Rachie]

Thanks for your support, much appreciated. I guess I just forgot how easy it is for me to feel lonely. I hate it. I really hope im not lonely forever...

[sewsweetie28]

oh gosh it broke my heart to read what you wrote! First off, not a waste of time! Seccond don't ever say what guy wouldn't wan't you!!!!! I'm sure you are a wonderful person who is going through a really tough time! THe loneyness is so relatable to me when breaking up with someone you love,no matter how bad it was when you were togeather. Hang in there and try to love yourself, take a walk, get some excercise, do something that makes YOU feel good! (((((((((((((((((((Rachie)))))))))))))))))))))

[Rachie]

Thanks sewsweetie i'm hanging in there I guess. I just wish the loneliness would disappear! Personally I think it is the worst feeling ever! Thanks again for your support

[Lisa Michelle]

Aw, Rachie, sorry you're feeling so lonely! It won't be forever though, no matter how much you think you are 'destined to be alone forever' it's very unlikely, especially as you're only 22 (I'm nosey, looked on your profile), there is SOOOO much still left to happen to you
I'm sorry you feel lonely right now, but I do think it will pass. Do you have many friends? Do you see them regularly? You don't need a bf, especially one who was no good for you. But I'm sure when the time is right you will meet someone else and hopefully it will be a better match! x

[paddym22]

Hi Rachie

Gosh I havent posted here in ages. I understand what you are saying and it resonates so much with me. I think we as BPDers also suffer it more intensely as we are have such a poor self image and I find myself having problems maintaining relationships anyway.

I am now 45 so I guess I have had a good innings at the relationship stakes and I notice on reflection for me it is when I stop looking things unexpectedly turn up in the most peculiar of circumstances.

You know you are never alone here, we are all here for you.

Take good care ((( Rachie))) and thanks for this post, it made me think.

[Trippin2.0]

Your post touched a nerve...this forum is touching a nerve...
I totally relate to you even though me and my X split up over a year ago...
I'm seeing some1 now, but he's more my best friend than a boyfriend...

I feel so hopeless, life has not been kind the past year (grandpa,brother and father passed away) raising a 6y.o on my own..blah blah blah.

personality's been unravelling for a while, always at odds about how "we" should feel, think and act, it's really hard right now. Found solace here at PC, was advised by a social worker to see a pdoc cos she suspects I'm bipolar, but now... I find myself crying because I relate to u guys so much, I'm scared I may have BPD, or BP or BOTH, not scared of the stigma or possible rejection, just scared of 1st appt, scared of dx, because it's just too much to take in right now.

I'm lonely but have made peace with being alone forever. Relationships are TOO draining. I feel too much, all the time, there's no moderation for me. Simple eg. If I sms and "he" doesn't respond immediately, I crap on his head for rejecting me, or being tired of me. This is very tiring and pathetic, but no matter how much I pray, and practice "self-restraint" I don't get any better at it. Actually in all honesty, I SUCK AT IT. And it's unfair toward others...especially significant others.

I still don't know what he sees in me, even though he's tried explaining it.

I'm rambling, but that's probly jis cos I havn't been sleeping, I'm way too hyperactive and verry aggro and sad right now, too many conflicting emotions at once, I'm so sorry if I don't make much sense, but I felt compelled to post here, because there are VERY FEW people I relate to...
Sorry for hogging your post...

[jdajda]

I just broke up with my boyfriend about 3 months a go. I still feel awful and wish I could be at peace with myself. I feel like no one will ever love me again either , so I can relate with you Rachie.
I am having an awful time just leaving my house.
I have felt this way whenever a relationship ends but it's funny how when a new one starts I'm always so glad I broke up with my last one. It just seems like a new relationship will never start for me, and right now I can't even have one until I do a lot of work on myself.
I feel for you and hope we both feel better soon. Hugs to you!

[Rachie]

I'm so sorry I haven't replied sooner. I've been a slacker and haven't been around much. It's a relief to know i'm not alone in feeling like this, and i'm so sorry alot of you are also feeling like this. It sucks! On a brighter note i'm not feeling so lonely anymore, I just try not to focus on it, I have more important things to think of. I'm sorry this is such a short reply but for once I actually have a rather empty head (weird lol) anyway thank you all so much for replying I hope we are all doing good

[Lisa Michelle]

Rachie - lovely to hear you're not feeling lonely right now! I hope it continues! x

[Rachie]

Thanks lisa, I certainly hope so too

[jolly]

Originally Posted by jdajda

I just broke up with my boyfriend about 3 months a go. I still feel awful and wish I could be at peace with myself. I feel like no one will ever love me again either , so I can relate with you Rachie.
I am having an awful time just leaving my house.
I have felt this way whenever a relationship ends but it's funny how when a new one starts I'm always so glad I broke up with my last one. It just seems like a new relationship will never start for me, and right now I can't even have one until I do a lot of work on myself.
I feel for you and hope we both feel better soon. Hugs to you!

Hello everyone its been a little while since I posted. My last post I started was 'BPD breakup'.

Rachie I understand why u r lonely and I am wondering if u r seeing a psychologist?

My ex goes in a cycle and I am wondering to some extent if u can relate or understand this.

Her cycle goes like this: She starts by being the most caring sensitive understanding person in the world, telling me that I am the only one that understands her. She says she loved me within the first month of knowing her. During this time she was still living with someone she had been with for almost 3 years who she told me later that she didnt find him attrative anymore and started to drink more and going out more!

We were together for 6 years and during the last year she started to go out more and started to drink heaps, she said she was stressed and felt I was not giving enough to her, that I didnt understand her.

After we seperated we started to see each other again and she was also communicating with a guy she met on facebook. Within 2 weeks she told this guy that they would make wonderful babies together!! Once she felt secure with him she shut me out. 3 months later she is looking at relocating to his city to live with him....she doesn't know anybody there except him. The cycle continues.....once the honeymoon period is over she will repeat the cycle...why? because she doesn't acknowledge her BPD! Her friends or family couldnt see the BPD and I think now understand what I have been saying all along!

She continues to destroy peoples lives because of her emotional insecurities and to stop feeling lonely (as stupid as it sounds).

Others with BPD does this paint a similiar picture??

[Rachie]

I see a psychiatrist already. Sorry but I can't say that I do the same. My ex was my first ever boyfriend. Mind you for years though all I ever wanted was for someone to love me. So I had many people tell me what I wanted to hear, i'd sleep with them and then they would ignore me, or vice versa for some reason I would run from some people and act like I didnt even know them.

Sorry your ex has done this to you, but in my opinion I think you're better off without her. Good luck! Thanks for replying