[biglou]

i was dating this my ex girlfriend for 4 and half years. we lived together. oneday we got into a fight and she wanted me gone. so i moved a month later. after sometime apart we started hanging back out with each other. some time pasted and she came to me and wanted to get back together. so we did. we were going to take it slow. well some time passed and things were going good. she was telling me how much she needed me in her life. even talked about getting married in a few years. then the people i was staying with told me i couldnt stay there any more. so my ex girlfriend said i could stay with her tempory until i got my own place. well then we got into a fight and she wanted me out again. i explained this stuff to my therapist and he said it sounds like she has personality disorder. i am not a doc but i have been reading online about borderline personality disorder. she meets some of the signs for it. well i left and she was very angry towards me. she didnt wanting me calling or texting her. then one night out of the blue she called and starting texting wanting me to come over. but i couldnt because i had no way home. she even wanted me to call her or text her when i got home. so i texted her when i got home. i got no response from her but it was late at night. so the next afternoon i texted her to she how she was. well her mom and her had gotten into a fight and her mom brought my name into and now my ex thinks i was talking to her mom about her. i wasnt i was just texting her mom about her foster baby she has. so now my ex says she cant trust me anymore. mind you her and her mom have never gotten along. the go through good times and then bad times. so i have texted my ex and got no responsed back from her. so i left her alone for a week. i texted her a few more times and nothing. then she called and told me she couldnt stand me anymore because i keep texting her. she has this thing about texting. if you text her once that should be it. she will get back to you when she feels like it. so after our phone call she texted me and said i better not ever call or text her again or she will take me to court. i love this girl so much. will she ever call or text me again.

[tryingtobeme]

Hi biglou,

Your therapist is right that she sounds like she could have BPD just from what you stated here. The wanting you around, then leaving, then wanting you back, leaving...this is a classic sign of BPD. I'm going to be blunt here. If she is not getting help with her BPD or other mental health condition, she will not get better on her now. BPD is such a hard illness to treat and it takes time, years, many years, depends on the person though and how much they are willing to work on themselves. But it can take years of work. It's not something that just medication is usually going to fix. She needs intensive DBT (you can look it up online) by a psychologist who specializes in this and probably medication. She will have many ups and down as she gets the help, but the end result can be so rewarding.

I know first hand since I have BPD. My husband and I have struggles since he is very stable emotionally for the most part. He has stuck it out and now our life is turning around. After 3 years or so of therapy for both me and him. I take meds to. So I hope she can get the help she needs and if you do love her, hopefully she will se that and get better.