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#1
Sep 20, 2010, 05:16 PM
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of course I am to blame, hurting people, doing my kids damage, of course i am to blame sh drunkness, i am an adult i behave like a kid, I hate this fing life, yeh blame it on bpd but I am the one whos fuing my life up not this so called illess . its an excuse i have now for not taking control. why should i take control what good had that ever done me? I want out of this hell, but i have kids and i know what pain it causes to loose your mother. so I am stuck here with the rest of you weirdos
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#2
Sep 20, 2010, 06:24 PM
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 Glad you've decided to stick around and try to work through this. Ok, first, if you could be different than you are, wouldn't you be? Second, are you working on being better? Third, are you doing your best for right now? What more can you do but your best? Keep doing what you know to be good. Try to eliminate or reduce what you don't like ... what you can change eventually. Tell the kiddo you love 'em and are trying to win this battle. Make sure they know it's isn't about them.
__________________
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#3
Sep 20, 2010, 06:37 PM
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There is a difference between blame (not useful) and wanting to make changes.
You are you. You react the way you learned. It worked very well for you at one time, but it doesn't work for you now. 
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#4
Sep 21, 2010, 07:52 AM
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"Fix the problem, not the blame".
__________________
"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
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#5
Sep 21, 2010, 10:43 AM
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im sorry for the insult, just trying to push everyone away. im not young, not sure i can change or if anyone will think i need help as function and am passable for "normal" so no one believes i struggle and have done for 40 years. i know you are going to say i can change but perhaps a lobotomy lol
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#6
Sep 21, 2010, 01:06 PM
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i struggle some days too but one thing i do know...there are solutions if i seek them out. i'm passable too-love that term-but have to try to keep balance in my life as much a possible cause it helps. another thing that helps is good friends. or just being grateful i am alive, and strive to find beauty around me...i need to look cause sometimes i'm not noticing...a pretty day, flowers, something outside of myself to focus on that's encouraging.
and try to be kinder to yourself. we forget that sometimes. oh and i'm not that young either so it's time to bake the donuts...
__________________
Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand |
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#7
Sep 21, 2010, 09:10 PM
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? I didn't see an insult, I saw an anguished person seeking answers.
Anyone can change at any age. I am 57, and benefitting from therapy. I have always worked and am self-sufficient. I raised a son alone. My friends who knew, when I first started having some problems with depression, were shocked. "YOU?!!" They said. Well, yeah. Me. I want to feel better. I want to feel at ease. I want to feel content. Whatever it is you want to feel, however you want your life to feel better, it is good and you are worth it.
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#8
Sep 22, 2010, 09:28 AM
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__________________
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#9
Sep 22, 2010, 04:29 PM
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I am in hell and I dont think I can go on
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#10
Sep 22, 2010, 04:56 PM
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One minute at a time. You are taking responsibility and working it out. There are people out there that are in denial thus blaming others and saying they are stable people even though they are causing others grief. You are doing everything you can to be your best! Be proud of that.
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#11
Sep 22, 2010, 07:14 PM
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Quote:
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#12
Sep 24, 2010, 03:31 PM
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yes I am alone and its not going to change, really strong urges to od
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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