[kalisha36]

So you start therapy and it's a whole other journey.

However then the journey if that's the only issues that your working on which is usually not the case we all usually have a list that follows our diagnosis, however then you start down this whole other world that you swear is NOT YOURS! It's devastating not to be talked about...You want to hurt this person who is making these claims against these so-called family members, friends etc that did unthinkable things to you..... But then you luv your T to cuz they believe in you there saving you not from the hurt then but now the memories there given you validation helping you to know what really happened?..........

For me and the mine though it's so unsettling that it takes day's to come down from a therapy session now a days that we have after 4 years worked up to these points that I am now yes just now getting these memories. I am however very afraid of what really is at the very core My question , sorry so long is what do all of you do to relax and stay grounded when you have these types of sessions?

[cluelessgluten]

[quote=kalisha36;1606213]So you start therapy and it's a whole other journey.

However then the journey if that's the only issues that your working on which is usually not the case we all usually have a list that follows our diagnosis, however then you start down this whole other world that you swear is NOT YOURS! It's devastating not to be talked about...You want to hurt this person who is making these claims against these so-called family members, friends etc that did unthinkable things to you..... But then you luv your T to cuz they believe in you there saving you not from the hurt then but now the memories there given you validation helping you to know what really happened?..........

For me and the mine though it's so unsettling that it takes day's to come down from a therapy session now a days that we have after 4 years worked up to these points that I am now yes just now getting these memories. I am however very afraid of what really is at the very core My question , sorry so long is what do all of you do to relax and stay grounded when you have these types of sessions?

I know how you feel. I have things that I will still not tell a T. I know I need to tell them but I can't. althought I will admit I do tell more than I use to the Ts

[kalisha36]

Clueless,

I guess my friend it's all about getting to a place were we have to really bond with someone....NOT completely TRUST but tell them enough were it will benefit us until we see they will be there for us in the long hall? My T is going above and beyond herself to prove that...Even goes or shows up to appointments with me, or keeps me out of the hospital if she thinks it will damage me worse or has kept me from shocks!!! I am thankful for that!!!

[bpd2]

About those therapy visits that require their own kind of recovery: I'm really lucky in that I live in a pretty "stable" home because everybody else keeps is stable. So, everybody in my family knows to be prepared for the possibility of A) a zomibe, B) an irritable and angry and mean monster, and C) someone who's spacey for at least all of Friday night and all of Saturday, sometimes longer.

The key for me is preparation: I know what the meals are going to be for at least two days--and they're going to be simple, and nothing that requires everyone to sit down as a family (like pizza, hotdogs, a casserole with all the food groups...), no events planned for Saturday, nothing I have to leave the house for--and if something has to happen that day, I am not the adult responsible for making it happen. Everyone has accepted, it by now, that I am, regardless of how the therapy went, going to need long stretches of time alone--probably in the morning, which, come to think of it, may account for why everyone else sleeps in so late on those Saturdays? Good just to leave the space to me?

Other coping strategies/grounding skills: if I can make myself do it----and this is sa BIG if----I take my dogs for a walk in the graveyard (No, not because it's morbid...well, not mainly that.....but because it's a fenced enclosure and I am sure they can't run into a street, AND there are rarely other dogs there, AND there aren't very many live peopel there. While I'm there, I have a "mantra" that my therapist gave me to recite. The mantra goes with a slide show--one saying per each very vivid photograph (all nature photos), and I have spent a lot of time with that mantra--watching it on my computer, writing down the lines.....anyway, I work on memorizing and reciting it while I am walking.

Another thing I do is research for my novels...right now, I'm working on a bipolar western--no kidding---set in the frontier West, even before Custer, but during European "expansion". So, lots of geology, botany, frontier arts, trade routes, Chinese immigrationg, farming, ranching, and mining techniques, hunting techniques......so, I always have something fascinating handy....it's a refuge. So, maybe that is a really good idea: a "hobby" that matters (not just moves your fingers and doesn't engage your fascinated brain).

That's what comes to mind as real right now. If I think of other things, I'll try to remember to pass them along.

[kalisha36]

Thank you,

those were all very detailed and nicely laid out and VISUAL...I appreciate that it helped me to see what I could do... I dunno why but sometimes I have to actually really see things in my head to get what people mean....

Those are things I never thought of? Except for my doggies I luv them allot and walking them yes that's a good way of alone time.... I guess it's not that I am being mean if I come home and take down time huh? Especially as the trauma work unfolds. I just feel guilty...Meals are usually no problem cuz I always have things planned in advance so that's good cuz you gave me more food ideas too.....

The graveyard however I like that idea, of not people around! Very nice....I hate being around other's cuz you have to keep your mind so busy watching for others and its already hard to stay grounded but the graveyard idea hmmm very, very SMART

I appreciate your sharing,
Kalisha