Sometimes we just feel like we are in a trap of thought pattern.I agree alot of us are.That includes me.
We over react,do things on impulse,lose our temper,and 'act-out' drugs,sex,drinking..whatever unhealthy satiating behavior that climbs out of healthy boundary.Then our thinking takes over.Alot of critical thinking.
We can get trapped in behaviors and in thinking.It can seem like no matter what we do,we are trapped.That's largely influenced by thought.
Think of it as a rip tide.Like when you're at the beach and life guards warn of a riptide.Riptides are areas of water near to the coast that run parallel to the shore.Even really good swimmers can be taken advantage of by a riptide.It's recommended to avoid swimming against the flow/current.Swim with it...in the direction it pulls till you find it lessening and then you can make it out.
I think that we who have B.P.D have a tendency to resist accepting 'where we're at'.As with a rip tide,there are things outside our ability to effect, and there are factors that influenced us and contributed to things getting to this point.And oddly enough acceptance and tactic can save us from the ordeal.
2 things are useful.being observant,mindful....and testing our judgement.
We judge everything around us.Alot of the time negatively.BPD sufferers are really extreme in this.They tend to use the part of their brain for evaluating more than most.One way to change it,is to observe.
Close your eyes and notice when a thought occurs to you.Even the thought..."Ok,when will I think something?" Open your eyes and ask yourself,"Who noticed the thought?"No one,we aren't our thoughts.
Critical mind:"Dammit,here I am.... stuck in line, because the cashier needs a g.d price check.""Why can't the cashier just enter the code and speed this up?"
Observant mind:"Wow people look ready for summer.I really think that's a cool hairstyle she has.I imagine the cashier is new,she looks nervous ...maybe not feeling well.Must be close to easter,they already have the candy out."
Being observant doesn't cancel the stress,but helps reduce some of it.Observing what's whats going on around you rather than judging it reduces a bit of the distress.
Think of a time you can remember recently when you were upset,write down the critical thoughts that went through your head.Then rewrite it,using no judgement.Focus on describing the things happening around you.We can be miserable anywhere if we only focus on the critical mind.
~W~
*Put your thoughts to music...next time you're entertaining the idea of how awful you are....how life sucks...how people treat you....sing it in your head to any familiar tune or nursery rhyme...singing your thoughts to an upbeat tune can change the meaning of your thoughts...Just a little distraction.*

[imafloridagirl]

Thank you for sharing this. It's something I can totally relate to. I am very critical minded and alot of my focus revolves around negativity. It's really easy to get caught up in negative thoughts espcially in trying situations. The idea of going back and looking at my viewpoint definetely sounds benificial. The only problem I have with going back is I get great big feelings of guilt when I think about those kinds of thoughts. Which probably sounds really strange but it's me.

I think you may benefit reading a thread by So It Goes entitled Re: A confluence of events and hopelessness.In the coping with emotions forum.