[palemoss]

why can't i just accept that i am just inadequate and that yes, i do not have any emotional skin.

when i see the "girlfriend" (or whatever the hell she is) of the boy i like, who has been flirting with me and who i've shared some very personal moments with, it MAKES ME CRAZY.

the right thing to do would be to cut the snake loose - i mean, i know i deserve better but being borderline and having some twisted sense of hope and emotionally masochistic i will take the risk and pretend like he never had/has a relationship with her. maybe i can at least get laid. oh yes, being used. that's all i'm used to anyway.

[free_me_now]

That "no emotional skin" bit really pissed me off when I first read it. Maybe it struck a nerve; it was a little too close to home. I hadn't forgotten that description of us and when I read that just now, while it still hits a nerve, I also (want to) tell myself not to be so damned hard on myself. Do I really have no emotional skin or is it maybe more accurate to say that I'm sensitive and should keep that in mind and adjust my thinking to keep some things from f*@%ing myself up so badly?

Regardless, beating up on myself does me no good and serves no purpose when I'm thinking about wanting to hook up with someone. But someone who already has a girlfriend? Aren't I maybe just setting myself up for more self-loathing and hurt?

Well, here's my two cents' worth! There are just way too many men (or boys) out there to worry about trying to get one who may already be committed. If he's flirting it may just be to get his ego stroked or anything else of course because I believe all males are pigs! Then if I "got him" how secure can I feel knowing it was pretty easy to leave another girl for me? I've had a pretty strict rule against dating males who are in a relationship for a couple of different reasons. I will not go into any more reasons that are hinted at above.

One last thing: how is allowing yourself to be used going to make you feel? if the answer isn't good I would suggest leaving the guy alone. Then I would go fishing. Just grab your pole and get busy, only make sure someone else doesn't have him on her hook already!