Home Menu

Menu


Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old May 20, 2011, 09:02 PM
nicoleb2's Avatar
nicoleb2 nicoleb2 is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Nov 2010
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 2,439
For the last probably two months, some of my so called friends keep getting together, but i'm never invited. Worse is that my sister is one of them. I feel so unliked. So alone. I suck apparently.

advertisement
  #2  
Old May 21, 2011, 12:41 AM
palemoss palemoss is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Feb 2011
Posts: 258
sucks...hate that. it could just be a phase, and that in like a few weeks they will come crawling back to you, esp if another starts to be ostracized ....i would speak up but use a decent tone..

i think it's time to start making new/other friends, the more the better sometimes
  #3  
Old May 21, 2011, 07:16 AM
Direction's Avatar
Direction Direction is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Dec 2006
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 2,704
Why not invite some of your friends to do something...we do have a tendency to act differently when we fear real or imagined abandonment...so go against this thought of being left out and include yourself by creating an activity friends can come to...
__________________
Direction

"friends" ignoring me

Ripple Effect - Small things can make a difference
  #4  
Old May 21, 2011, 09:57 AM
cybergenesis cybergenesis is offline
Junior Member
 
Member Since: May 2011
Posts: 14
It hard to say whether its real or in your mind. Wish you luck though, we all need friends.
  #5  
Old May 23, 2011, 04:15 AM
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,641
so not cool.. good luck!

(agrees with Direction)
__________________
  #6  
Old May 23, 2011, 04:16 AM
Emotionally Dead Emotionally Dead is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Jul 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 518
Definitely not a fun experience, I go through it too...

Well, if ya want, you can fly down here and I will do something with ya! But seriously, it's not a fun thing just try not to let it get to you and try to make some more friends.
  #7  
Old May 23, 2011, 05:15 AM
Yoda's Avatar
Yoda Yoda is offline
who reads this, anyway?
 
Member Since: Oct 2006
Location: Appalachia
Posts: 9,968
It hurts. I have been rejected too. Invite them or one of them to do something and if they aren't going to be nice then hang in there until you find a better friend. You will find them but sometimes it's lonely when you're looking for them. And internet friends are real friends too even though we can't hang out together. I'll be your friend.
__________________
The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well. anonymous
  #8  
Old May 23, 2011, 03:59 PM
nicoleb2's Avatar
nicoleb2 nicoleb2 is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Nov 2010
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 2,439
I'd love to find friends who would accept me for who I am and don't expect me to always be happy. I'm not a very social person though due to fear of rejection when people find out more about me
  #9  
Old May 23, 2011, 04:33 PM
Direction's Avatar
Direction Direction is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Dec 2006
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 2,704
A support group may provide some acceptance...check into DBSA, NAMI or other meetings locally.

It may also help you share with current friends as you test the waters about sharing in a group with people who have similar issues...
__________________
Direction

"friends" ignoring me

Ripple Effect - Small things can make a difference
  #10  
Old Jun 18, 2011, 11:55 AM
capecod's Avatar
capecod capecod is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Jun 2011
Posts: 36
I struggle with this all the time. I feel like I'm a last resort friend, one they only call when they have no one else to do things with. Or I feel like I've really connected with someone and think we're close only to find out they have been getting together with others and never inviting me. The only close friends I have are my sisters because they get me and one also has bpd, so I can be myself around them.
  #11  
Old Jun 19, 2011, 05:27 AM
Tourniquet's Avatar
Tourniquet Tourniquet is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Jun 2011
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by nicoleb2 View Post
I'd love to find friends who would accept me for who I am and don't expect me to always be happy. I'm not a very social person though due to fear of rejection when people find out more about me
Gosh I can relate to this so closely. Nicole, recently I had a woman befriend me and although I am normally extremely reluctant to get socially involved with people due to fear of rejection, I took a chance at being vulnerable and entered into the friendship. As soon as she got to know me a little better, she cut off our friendship in a very fast cruel manner and it left me devastated. She did the same thing to me your friends have done to you - organised social get togethers and purposefully excluded me. She even went as far as telling me the get togethers were cancelled when in actual fact, she still had everyone over for coffee and just chose to lie to me. It hurt terribly at first but now I am just angry and disgusted at the way she treated me. Some people are cowards and instead of being honest and saying, "Hey look, I understand you are dealing with BPD and I wish I could support you but I don't know how and it's overwhelming for me.", they take the wimps way out and just lie, avoid, cut off contact, etc. Nicole, their actions say more about who THEY are as people than it says about who YOU are as a person. Friendships and trust are extremely scary for me too but I am slowly learning how to trust my intuition when it comes to friends. I can get a sense for who I can trust and who I can't but it's still scary.

I must say I think it's pretty rough that your sister would attend get togethers knowing how bad it makes you feel, I would assume being your sister she would have the attitude of, "If my sister isn't good enough for you, then you're not good enough for me." But because I don't know your sister or the situation, I can't pass any real judgement.

I'm sorry you are going through this. It's very unfair.
__________________
Diagnosis: Borderline Personality Disorder
* She who cares the least, wins.
* The way people treat you says more about them than it says about you.
* People with Borderline Personality Disorder are like people with third degree burns over 90% of their body - Lacking emotional skin, they feel agony at the slightest touch or movement.
Reply
Views: 1119

attentionThis is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 02:33 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.




 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.