[my3sns]

Tomorrow i am scheduled to see my T . She is pretty new to me , i have only seen her about maybe 6-7 times. I'm unsure of her training and specialties...yes i have asked , but she said that the information wasnt important , just so long as i knew she was competent and capable of helping me ...(she is young !! probably pretty fresh out of school) Ok that said i was in partial hospitalization for 2 weeks up until last thursday (6/23/11) and while there i was given the added dx of BPD (I also am dx'd with MDD, PTSD, Anxiety disorder, history of substance use and abuse.. thats all i can think of at the moment) So this appt tomorrow will be the first time seeing my T since the BPD dx, and i am not sure what she is going to say.. like will she work with me still,especially, but also if she has any training in DBT .. after being introduced to this in the hosp it made so much sense and i think it has the potential to really help... i guess my basic thing is ...i have heard so many times that often T's dont care much for working with people with BPD for a few different reasons .... i realize that part of mindfulness , which is somewhat related to DBT ..says to try to live in the moment (basically not stress the future or the past , because it is what it is , and much of the time there is a lot of stuff that you cant control about either) Which is true in this case ......however true to the dx ... i am totally freaked that she may abandon me Added to this ... i can only see her every 3 weeks, due to a big shortage in T's in the office now and she is seeing crazy numbers of clients.. I need a hug

[Flooded]

Here's a good chance at practicing mindfulness Be in the moment that is here NOW. Don't worry about your t until you are there.

Let me know how you go

[free_me_now]

It's true that some Ts are "afraid" of us.......and won't treat us but I think more of them do than don't. I think that it's more like we present a therapeutic challenge and they're just not up for the challenge. It really doesn't matter because they probably aren't very good Ts anyway. I'm serious. If your T tells you she won't treat you anymore it won't be your fault. I promise you. It won't be because of any reason other than maybe she's just not equipped to treat BPD successfully. That said, this probably won't happen.

I'm early on in dealing with some of my real and underlying issues now that I'm clean and sober. I've been seeing my T for over 7 months and I'm just now getting painfully honest. I allowed myself to be vulnerable and real with her this afternoon. It was probably the best session we've had up til now. I was exhausted (& anxious to leave) when it was time to go but I'm glad I let her in like that. Since I started to acknowledge my BPD a few weeks ago I've been trying to talk myself out of even needing therapy. I knew it would be difficult and even painful at times. But even though if I think about some of what we got into my stomach feels queasy (? or nervous, scared or well, I'm not sure how to describe it) I do feel a little more hopeful about recovery tonight and that feels really good!

I want to know how your session goes. I will be looking for your post tomorrow night!

[my3sns]

I didnt have a lot of time to post on friday evening well really since friday. Sat urday morning i left the east coast to head to nebraska and colorado...im finally here. Anyway that said the session went very well. She is going to continue our sessions ...yay .