[ECHOES]

I read that recently as a symptom and it is an issue for me.
Even though I enjoy being alone most of the time, and I have things I enjoy doing, I so struggle with this.

I'm wondering if anyone else does?

[zooropa]

oh wow, I've never heard of that as a symptom but yes, I definitely see that in myself. Interesting!

[free_me_now]

Hi, I'm new here but I definitely have that problem. Then again I have trouble structuring all of my time! Like right now. I should be working on at least one of the four papers I have due in my Criminology class. They are due the week after this. I am a nontraditional student who has returned to college to hopefully finally get a bachelor's. I have gone back to school countless times only to get stressed out, overwhelmed and disillusioned with my declared major (which has been changed now for only the fourth time). I will have well over 200 credit hours when (if) I graduate!!! I should be graduated by this time next year if I will just keep at it. My BPD is once again causing lots of problems with my ability to function well enough to do my assignments.
Sorry, that was a bit off the topic. Back on topic, if I do have leisure time and things I want to do for "fun" (whatever that is!) and relaxation I wind up sleeping too much or doing something, anything that I really hadn't wanted to do. I really don't know how to structure any of my time. I'm too scattered and undisciplined. This is just another area I need help with especially in regards to school.
Anyway, it's really nice (?) to be here and I hope sometime I'm actually able to help someone...

[ECHOES]

((zoo)) Thanks for replying.

You know, you have really good insights and introspection abilities.
You might find that psychodynamic/psychoanalytic psychotherapy is helpful. You probably would have to ask a prospective T if they offer that; they don't always state psychoanalytic because insurance companies don't like it. Or, you might ask if they do 'depth' therapy.

I know I'm really responding to your other post in the other forum, but I just wanted to say that I'm sorry it isn't working with your T. Her statement that there is nothing wrong or to work on in the relationship sounds like she is trying to say it is all happening in your mind. And we do this, it could be, but she isn't being helpful if she isn't going to help you understand what she's saying about nothing being wrong, and nothing to fix.
This type of therapy wasn't for you, but I have hope the next one will be.

[Perna]

I think I have an idea of how leisure time "should" be structured and since I can't do that feel bad but it's one's own time, so whatever one does with it is one's choice?

I'm retired now so all my time is leisure and yes, I have trouble getting myself to focus on what I think of as my work, do things "productive" but I think some of that is a hold over from other people, stepmother and bosses, telling me how to spend my time and thinking they were "right" in some way and that I need to do that on my own.

I have learned (I think :-) that I do what I truly want (and get what I truly want) so I've gotten a bit more forgiving about time periods and insisting that I go along with what "they" think is right or properly structured?

[Tourniquet]

I find it difficult to structure my leisure time. I will make plans or have the intentions to do certain things but then I always wind up doing something completely different and not sticking to what I wanted to do. I think for me this is because I find it difficult to stick with one decision and am always going back and forth because my opinions and wants/needs change constantly, if that makes sense.

[Flooded]

I find it difficult to structure anything in my life but for leisure time, I get around to getting it organised eventually, but then ALWAYS cancel plans at the last minute usually because its too much effort to leave the house

[Direction]

I've struggled with this...my 1st hurdle that helped over come this...was for me to realize leasure time was not something I should feel guilty about and it had many benefits....

In group we listed out some of our favorite activities and then listed the benefits such as entertainment, socialization, exercise, relataxation, sense of well-being, creative expression, sense of purpose...it was like a light bulb went off.

I'm still struggling with this all and how to better structure it...

[Fuzzybear]

[armywifeiam]

Flooded - What you said is EXACTLY what I do. I make plans, even with people, and cancel or just don't show up because I can't leave my house. Then I feel guilty for not going or just not showing up! Which makes me feel like a bad person because what kind of person doesn't even let the people know that they aren't going to show up!!!!

[agma]

I do that all the time. I say yes, but then cancel. I was asked by coworkers to hang out Friday night. I originally said yes, but then I texted one of them Friday night and said I wasn't coming. After I did it, I felt really bad. I also have trouble getting other things done as well. I make a to-do list of stuff I should get done around the house, but usually I end up just laying on the couch and watching TV. By the end of the day, I feel extremely guilty because I got nothing done.