How a Borderline Personality Disorder Love Relationship Evolves

this is amazingly spot on.
until very recently dated someone exactly like this...and when she turned on me, dumped me and moved a man in her home 3 weeks later with her children that were very close with me and I with them...it devastated me..i couldn't understand how someone I was so good to could treat me the way she did...I gave everything, every penney anything it took to make her happy but nothing was ever good enough.

this article is exactly how the relationship went and her phases...I kept doing more and more and she changed me. I couldn't speak my feelings or it brought on anger and her isolation,,i was never that way in my life,,,i had no borders with her and everything was about her..she lost numerous jobs in a one year period and I actually got her job back after she was fired from a company that just hired me..i made it a condition of them hiring me...but immediately she turned on the company and turned on me...

since this all happened two months ago I have been in counsling and on Zoloft and ambien and also ulcer medication.

I couldn't make sense in how she treated and talked to me and ive always been a positive standing tall man, being in this relationship collapsed all that and how she acted especially at the end devastated me to severe depression.

it wasn't until today that my therapist told me her diagnosis of her from all ive said...Borderline Personailty Disorder....

ive been doing research all day on this and many are long winded but this article hits it right between the eyes.

if your a man in this type of relationship, I really have no advice but don't let them change you, consume you and make you loose your dignity and respect for yourself as when you do and you continue like I did...it can destroy the man inside of you and require a lot of help to try to recover

Amen, sister!

Seriously this is nothing like me. It's the usual bpd's are manipulative ****.

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Nope not me at all. I've been with my boyfriend four years and I am none of those things. I am not cruel to him, I do not cling to him and I definitely do not hate him. This was really hurtful to read.

I think to understand the slant one must remember that this was not written for sufferers of BPD it is written to help those who are suffering because of a relationship with a BPD. Of course it's not going to be the most sympathetic to our plight.

Having said that it doesn't mean I necessarily agree with everything that has been said.

Having suffered at the hands of someone who used my BPD and vulnerabilities against me I wanna yell and scream about the unfairness of being made out to be so evil -but these sites are not for us.

It's hard not to run into them but when we do it helps to remember many of these people have been badly hurt and are lashing out only because of that. Just like us.

BPD and NPD share similar facets...my ex was NPD and he was horrid...at first it was amazing, all of it but it went downhill very quickly, once he got bored.

I have BPD and other than cycling like a locomotive between depresssed and 'ok', I'm not like the article. I can blow up sometimes, but usually its out of frustration, like when he pulled the silent treatment on me. And I was definately NOT clingy and actually loath women who act like that with their men.

Other than that, I was just intensly in love with him...and he knew it. This went on for years. Finally pushed me one time to many and I ended it.

I remember seeing this article and wanting to tell the author to go to hell. It's a very negative old school look at BPD. I have been searching on the internet for things on BPD and relationships it it seems like everything I find is for people involved with us dreaded BPDs. I emailed one "therapist" and told her off because she has all kinds of articles about BPD and they are all negative, stereotypical and not well researched. She makes us out to be manipulative psychos. She said that Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction was a perfect example of BPD. Uh no, she may have had BPD but she also had a whole lot of other issues including erotomania and psychosis and who knows what else.

I have lived with the stigma of depression and ADHD. The BPD stigma is much, much worse. SO many articles are insensitive and focus on what we do to others. What about how it feels for us? Do they think we want to be this way? I sure don't!
Misfit

That's me... I don't want it to be, I try not to let it be, and I don't even really notice when I'm doing it. But that's me. I hate it. It's such a hopeless picture... no wonder my fiance wants to call off the wedding. I'm a mess and don't deserve him. Why couldn't I see this before? Why can't I make it stop? I keep thinking I'm trying, but ultimately I get nowhere. How am I supposed to know if I'm really trying? How do I know when I'm succeeding in breaking that pattern, or if I'm just fluctuating between them? Why do I have to put the people I love through this pain? Why must I endure the pain of watching myself push him away when all I want to do is love him the way he deserves?