[BrokenNBeautiful]

He referred me to an agency after I walked in yesterday crying. I was so fed up with my life---breakup with Dane, problems with Bruce, birthday coming up and no one around... pity pot!

He said, "Billi, I will have someone call you this week. Your insurance does cover it."

I told him, "I have spent 2 years out of therapy because they told me that even people with Medicare and Medicaid together would have to pay copayments for counseling. I have told you that I can't afford that."

He goes, "You will be covered."

Okay, I am waiting for a call and it seems like it will happen.

But I am so scared!

Last year, I had tried counseling and the lady that counseled me said that therapy was not going to do me any good and that was when I decided, no more therapy. I will just do it myself.

And I had gone online for therapy, too, and they could not deal with my bpd, either.

My new doc still doesnt' know I have bpd; I still don't want to tell him until we trust each other. And I certainly will not tell this new therapist until we trust each other.

A h of a thing, still needing to hide becasue of stigma.

But I have reached an impasse; I need to trust somewhere!

I am going to be the one asking the t 20 questions, not the other way around:

1) what kind of people are good candidates for treatment?

2) do you help people who are disabled?

3) do you help people with mental illnesses?

4) what is your attitude toward people who are emotional?

etc.

Here I go!

Billi

[Flooded]

Best of luck billi. I hope it works out and helps you!

[shezbut]

((((Billi))))

Have you tried DBT group therapy? I'm on SSI and MA, have been for about 4 years or so now ~ and DBT was very helpful to me.

It was wonderful to me for my feelings towards my past to finally be acknowledged in T! Rather than the usual, "It wasn't your fault. You shouldn't feel guilty or ashamed..."

DBT was started for treating people with BPD, by Marsha Linehan, who recently came forward to say that she had BPD. Long before I was finally diagnosed with BPD, I was shown a couple of Linehan's videos in the hospital. It was as though she was speaking to me personally. That was just amazing to me!

http://www.dbtselfhelp.com

The site above can give you a lot of helpful info ~ much more than I can! Check it out.

Very best wishes sent your way

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Originally Posted by shezbut

((((Billi))))

Have you tried DBT group therapy? I'm on SSI and MA, have been for about 4 years or so now ~ and DBT was very helpful to me.

It was wonderful to me for my feelings towards my past to finally be acknowledged in T! Rather than the usual, "It wasn't your fault. You shouldn't feel guilty or ashamed..."

DBT was started for treating people with BPD, by Marsha Linehan, who recently came forward to say that she had BPD. Long before I was finally diagnosed with BPD, I was shown a couple of Linehan's videos in the hospital. It was as though she was speaking to me personally. That was just amazing to me!

http://www.dbtselfhelp.com

The site above can give you a lot of helpful info ~ much more than I can! Check it out.

Very best wishes sent your way

DBT is not covered by Medicaid and I make too much money for county eligibility.

I am on my own.

thank you for the good wishes.

But apparently, even my brand new doctor is IGNORANT!!!!!

Because the new place he referred me to actually does require copayments! and I already told my freaking doctor that I can't effing afford them!!!!!!!!!!

I will be once again on my way on my own.

With DBT self-help.

Billi

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Originally Posted by billi_leli

He referred me to an agency after I walked in yesterday crying. I was so fed up with my life---breakup with Dane, problems with Bruce, birthday coming up and no one around... pity pot!

He said, "Billi, I will have someone call you this week. Your insurance does cover it."

I told him, "I have spent 2 years out of therapy because they told me that even people with Medicare and Medicaid together would have to pay copayments for counseling. I have told you that I can't afford that."

He goes, "You will be covered."

Billi

GD IT!

Not going to happen.

I am not fully covered as he said I was!

He didn't know that the agency was going to charge me copayments (20% of Medicare; already asked him and he said "no copayments; it's covered completely"------lead me once again to a dead end!!!!!!!!)

but thanks everyone for your good wishes.

I guess I will be okay.

Just SICK to TEARS of having candy dangled in front of me and YANKED BACK!!!!!!

Billi

[Astridetal]

It is very good htat you'll be asking the therapist lots of questions. That way you can determine if they're right for you. I think that lady who told you last year that therapy wouldn't be good for you, was really inconsiderate and didn't have a clue probably. There is no-one for whom therapy of any kind won't do anything I'd think. Good luck. I hope your insurance covers therapy for you.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Originally Posted by billi_leli

GD IT!

Not going to happen.

I am not fully covered as he said I was!

He didn't know that the agency was going to charge me copayments (20% of Medicare; already asked him and he said "no copayments; it's covered completely"------lead me once again to a dead end!!!!!!!!)

but thanks everyone for your good wishes.

I guess I will be okay.

Just SICK to TEARS of having candy dangled in front of me and YANKED BACK!!!!!!

Billi

I straightened out that agency yesterday!

Called my docotor as soon as his office opened and asked him in a very calm voice (after being counseled by my mentor), "Did you refer me to a place that can't help me?" and then proceeded to tell him what that agency rep said the day before about having to pay copayments!

He said, "I will talk to Ernie and tell him that you are my patient and not to charge you copayments. You are dual eligible; have both Medicare and Medicaid, which means that you are below the poverty line, while being eligible for Medicare for your disability. He thought you had only Medicare and only people with only Medicare without Medicaid too have to pay."

So I thanked him and saw my new therapist yesterday.

thank you for all your continued support.

I panicked, but I was angry enough to follow thru and straighten it out.

My BPD would have just made me self-destruct without even trying, before.

But I am at the end of my rope and sometimes even that can force me to bounce back up.

Billi

[teresapooh98]

how did your therapy go with your new therapist? I hope it went well. Keep going it will help you.

[Mustkeepjob32]

Good job and following through with that. What did you was focus on the task at hand which was calling the agency, and you did it.

[ECHOES]

^^ I want to 2nd that - you did GREAT in standing up for yourself, stating your needs, questioning the arrangement, and being respectful of everyone involved - which ultimately includes you - in the process.
It is really hard to do this when feeling angry, disappointed, discouraged!

I'm happy for you that your doctor is so supportive and helpful, and has opened up the opportunity for therapy for you again.

[PleaseHelp]

Good for you for standing up for yourself.

I'm on Medicaid and go to DBT, my co-pay is $2/session. Its frustrating the number of hoops they make people jump through.

I hope your new therapist can help.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Originally Posted by PleaseHelp

Good for you for standing up for yourself.

I'm on Medicaid and go to DBT, my co-pay is $2/session. Its frustrating the number of hoops they make people jump through.

I hope your new therapist can help.

Thanks.

I really felt like I was going for broke.

I am not a beggar; I have my pride, but I truly felt skimped and needed to get mad at them for dangling candy in front of me.

And I ended up being a squeaky wheel getting greased! lol

Billi

[BrokenNBeautiful]

thanks.

I saw 2 therapists so far.

The first one I did not work out with because he was a man and I felt awkward talkign about women's issues. He also did not seem to have the ability to deal with my sensitive issues.

Then today I saw a female from the same agency and I am not sure I care for her either.

She called me today to say, "I will be 20 minutes late."

Then she did not show up until a half hour later from THAT.

I tried to get a hold of her while I was still waiting and later she said, "I dont' like to answer my phone" (her number is a cell phone number), so she did not answer the phone.

So, she shows up at 3pm when our appt is at 2pm.

Then, she tells me I am "defensive" when I bring up my abandonment issues.

I tell her about my situation with my aunt and she says, "Your aunt loved you, Billi." I tell her that my aunt did not know how to show that love and I was not sure about the t's reaction to that.

I felt, too, like she was not very supportive about my situation with my aunt's executor, either.

So, I called tonight to cancel Tuesday's appt and she answers. Why does she answer after hours and not during hours?

I feel weird about her.

I feel nauseated over having to deal with another unsympathetic therapist!

She is also the director of the agency, so I am not sure if she will block me from getting therapy if she doesn't like me.

Just an update.

I am not giving up.

Even if I have to go it alone agian, I am not giving up!

Billi

[PleaseHelp]

Glad you tried. Could you go with a different agency? That does seem very off the way she treated you and not very professional. Wishing you the best of luck.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Originally Posted by PleaseHelp

Glad you tried. Could you go with a different agency? That does seem very off the way she treated you and not very professional. Wishing you the best of luck.

I am thinking about going somewhere else. Here's a possibility: this student hypnotherapist that I went to this past spring offered me therapy at a reduced fee and I might call her today if this doesn't work out.

My resources are still limited. If I can find someone who understands about "dual eligibles" (medicare-medicaid combo insurance) and does not charge a medicare copayment, that can be promising.

If not, oh well. I am doing okay without it.

Billi

[PleaseHelp]

good luck. keep us posted.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Well, I stood up to her, too.

I asked her to please be on time (in fact today, the doctor asked me if she was on time last week and thankfully I could tell him yes.)

I asked her if she could do inner child work as well as behavior. thank goodness she said yes. I also aske her to please be available on the telephone (cell phone) if I need to ask her where she is during an appt when she IS late.

so hopefully she will treat me better and she learned from the horrible first time. lol

Billi

[Flooded]

Excellent work billi!

[PleaseHelp]

Good job, billi. Way to stand up for yourself.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

thanks.

I stood up to her again last Tuesday, too.

Had to pull teeth to get anotehr appt from her next week.

I have a thread about that in Psychotherapy.

Billi

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Originally Posted by billi_leli

thanks.

I stood up to her again last Tuesday, too.

Had to pull teeth to get anotehr appt from her next week.

I have a thread about that in Psychotherapy.

Billi

Gotta add one more thing:

I feel like I have to "train" her or something. To treat me right, to give me good treatment and a good therapeutic relationship. Last week, I had Bruce with me there and it seemed like she was even allowing him to steal my time.

Then, like I mentioned, suddenly, she looks at her calendar and says, "I don't have any openings for next week. Can we skip?"

Then I have to tell her I really need the time every week. She does look again and give me an appt, but why is it like pulling teeth?

Shouldn't it be second nature to have an appt next week?

Most therapists give their clients standing dates!

Right?

Wrong?

That seems to compromise my purpose for seeing her.

she is the therapist, not I! I don't want to spend my time with her trying to figure out HER problems!

Billi

[PleaseHelp]

My T does a therapy/goal setting plan. We did one the first or 2nd appointment then revisit it every 6-9 months. In that plan we discussed how often we would see each other, goals for therapy, etc. So it was written down. Then she looked at her schedule and at first we did up to 2 months out for appointments. Now its a month out. Doesn't sound like you're on the same page with each other.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Originally Posted by PleaseHelp

at first we did up to 2 months out for appointments. Now its a month out. Doesn't sound like you're on the same page with each other.

thanks.

I have a question. Does your statement mean you made appts for 2 months, then a month and maybe my own therapist is just skipping appts with me?

billi

[PleaseHelp]

When we first sat down together, she took out her appointment book and we figured out the first 2 months for appointments - she kind of had to work me in so I could come in every week, so sometimes for a while it was diff days &/or times but then stayed same day & time. Now at the end of a session she'll look and say OK I still have you down for Thurs at 3pm and I've got you down until (date). Then when it gets close to the last date she has me down we go out another month. I hope that makes sense.

[nicoleb2]

With my T, i go up to the receptionists and schedule appointments there. I have an appointment set up weekly, but it's not always on the same day or at the same time. I do try to set all of my appointments on Mondays, but that doesn't always happen. I have appointments scheduled through the end of December.
At the end of each appointment, I go schedule another one. So after this week, I will schedule for the week after the last appointment i scheduled