[sweepy62]

hi, ok its ok for people to say happy new year, the part that upsets me is, time to leave all your problems in the past its a new year full of hope the past is the past.

well guess what, my problems hitched a ride with 2012, just because it turned 2012 at midnite does not mean that all of your issues poof vanished into mid air if that was the case non of us would need therapy lol i am just saying it really makes me angry the way my friends tell me, ok its a new year fresh start you should have no issues, really? are u insane? lol

[athena2011]

Yah, going 180 degrees in the opposite direction is just going to cause you to shake your head and walk away in disgust.

Today I was thinking about a book I read called "What to Say when you talk to yourself". Basically it teaches the concept that your brain will believe what you tell it, so just start telling it the right things. But I have a real problem going from, for example: "I'm too reserved. I can't attract the right people. I just can't seem to keep a stable relationship. There's something wrong with me. I don't deserve somebody respectful, caring, interesting and fun. Anybody who sticks around is after something."

to:

"I am a wonderful person. I have tons of energy, am cheerful, outgoing and a joy to be around. I love who I am and I wouldn't want to be anybody different. I'm good at a lot of things, I have many interests and I am lots of fun. I attract and keep wonderful people around me at all times."

These are such diametrically opposed statements that my first reaction is to gag. It's like you're telling your brain the biggest lie its ever heard and it will just hit the REJECT button instantaneously. So I thought, maybe an in-between statement is needed, like:

"I'm good enough. I am worthy of a better class of people. I'm doing lots of things to get my energy levels up, my social anxiety under control and my mood up. I'm trying out new things and I'm trying not to take myself too seriously. I'm starting to attract the right people to me. Baby steps"

Anyway, that's what your post made me think of. Recognizing that I am doing a lot of stuff, that it SHOULD make a difference, that I sometimes see progress and that maybe I see a glimmer of hope.

So in the spirit of knocking out that Black and White thinking: Here's to that grey area in the middle that moves us farther from black and closer to white. I think I should aim for a very light shade of grey - not all good, that's shangri-la. But something that means a decent amount of light is shining on it. Something worth aiming for.