[donnie darko]

Hi Everyone one.

I will start off by saying that i have not been diagnosed with BPD, i don't really know what it is but my symptoms/traits fit quite well to BPD.

I did go to the DR, a while ago and he said he was going to refere me to a phych, but i was supposed to follow up with him a week later but i freeked out and didn't go, but i have made a new appointment for monday so hopefully i can get some help.

The thing is i have looked at a few different mental illnesses just to see if i could get an idea of what i could have, and i found personality disorders, but i seem to fit a few of them and it is very confusing.

Say if i have a task/job to do, it could be anything like painting my bedroom, then i have symptoms/traits of OCPD, perfectionist. ie if there is a tiny streak, i just can't leave it and i will stay there all day and night on that one streak if needs be lol. and i will get preoccupied with detail/the best way to do the task/job instead of actually doing it, and setting unrealistic goals and when i don't meet them or if i do something wrong i cant forget it, i will torture myself about it.

but then i have symtoms/traits that fit with BPD and Avoident personalty i just don't get it.

I was going to write down some of my symptoms/traits but this post is getting longer than i thought so i will write them in another post

Sorry if the post is long but i can't talk to anyone about this,

Thank you for reading

[Trippin2.0]

Welcome!

[MDDBPDPTSD]

Originally Posted by donnie darko

Hi Everyone one.

I will start off by saying that i have not been diagnosed with BPD, i don't really know what it is but my symptoms/traits fit quite well to BPD.

I did go to the DR, a while ago and he said he was going to refere me to a phych, but i was supposed to follow up with him a week later but i freeked out and didn't go, but i have made a new appointment for monday so hopefully i can get some help.

The thing is i have looked at a few different mental illnesses just to see if i could get an idea of what i could have, and i found personality disorders, but i seem to fit a few of them and it is very confusing.

Say if i have a task/job to do, it could be anything like painting my bedroom, then i have symptoms/traits of OCPD, perfectionist. ie if there is a tiny streak, i just can't leave it and i will stay there all day and night on that one streak if needs be lol. and i will get preoccupied with detail/the best way to do the task/job instead of actually doing it, and setting unrealistic goals and when i don't meet them or if i do something wrong i cant forget it, i will torture myself about it.

but then i have symtoms/traits that fit with BPD and Avoident personalty i just don't get it.

I was going to write down some of my symptoms/traits but this post is getting longer than i thought so i will write them in another post

Sorry if the post is long but i can't talk to anyone about this,

Thank you for reading

I have major depressive disorder, borderline personality disorder, post traumatic stress disorder and I have not been diagnosed with avoidant personality disorder, but I do have many of those traits as well. I am sure others on the list do too. You are safe here and welcomed. I would be interested to learn more about your symptoms, when you are ready to share them.

...hi donnie darko,

say whatever you need to mate...yep

[sweepy62]

Originally Posted by donnie darko

Hi Everyone one.

I will start off by saying that i have not been diagnosed with BPD, i don't really know what it is but my symptoms/traits fit quite well to BPD.

I did go to the DR, a while ago and he said he was going to refere me to a phych, but i was supposed to follow up with him a week later but i freeked out and didn't go, but i have made a new appointment for monday so hopefully i can get some help.

The thing is i have looked at a few different mental illnesses just to see if i could get an idea of what i could have, and i found personality disorders, but i seem to fit a few of them and it is very confusing.

Say if i have a task/job to do, it could be anything like painting my bedroom, then i have symptoms/traits of OCPD, perfectionist. ie if there is a tiny streak, i just can't leave it and i will stay there all day and night on that one streak if needs be lol. and i will get preoccupied with detail/the best way to do the task/job instead of actually doing it, and setting unrealistic goals and when i don't meet them or if i do something wrong i cant forget it, i will torture myself about it.

but then i have symtoms/traits that fit with BPD and Avoident personalty i just don't get it.

I was going to write down some of my symptoms/traits but this post is getting longer than i thought so i will write them in another post

Sorry if the post is long but i can't talk to anyone about this,

Thank you for reading

welcome darko its a great place here we are like a family and really supportive

[donnie darko]

Thank you everyone for making me feel welcome it really does mean alot to me

I don't talk to anyone about what i am feeling or going through i just hide it, like i wear a mask of happiness infront of people but inside quite the opposite.

I don't really know where to start with my symptoms/traits but here goes.

I guess i will start with not really going out much because i really don't like social contact, i am not too bad 1 to 1 but when there are more people i hate it. mostly i will try to avoid social contact, but if i can't then i don't really speak or join in. I am just concentrating on what i am saying/doing and what eveyone else is saying/doing and seeing where the conversation is going. quite alot of the time i will just zone out into my little world lol. plus it hard work to concentrate so much to whats going on and trying to keep your mask on lol.

I am very secretive, find it hard to trust anyone.

I daydream alot, sometimes seem to run on auto-pilot . quite alot of the time i will imagine conversations in my head, but sometimes i will say my parts of the conversation out loud and kind of forget that the conversation is in my head lol

I hate critism even though it may have been ment as a joke or i just take it out of context but it will just eat at me and then i will think that they hate me, then i will start to hate them lol i also beet my self up if i make a mistake (really beet my self up, just can't let it go).

No confidance, sad, depressed, feel lonely, worthless, sometimes happy but mainly the others.

Don't really know what i want to do, or who i am. I will think something is great then the next day hate it and think something else, just feel confused, lost, know will understand me, like the black sheep of society.

I can be getting on with someone one minute having a good time then something they say or do, or i just take something the wrong way and i hate them, i feel angry and just don't want to talk to them or get away from them.

there's most of my symptoms, i have proberly missed a few, plus this post was getting too long, and didn't want to bore you all lol

Thank you everyone

...it's not boring donnie...my concentration span is as useful as lipstick on a cat...but when I read my own words I can concentrate and much of what you described there is much like my own experience.

...very well expressed...and I relate

[doglover5]

Hi donni! Welcome Here you're certainly in the company of friends who understand!

[donnie darko]

Thank you for making me feel welcome

I have my Dr appointment on monday and freaking out abit about it. face to face, letting my guard down and telling him whats going on and how i feel.

I have been out of work for a while because of this, and my Ex-boss rang me yesterday and offered me my job back. The thing is i wanted to get some help before trying to get back to work, because i am so confused and don't know if i'm coming or going lol, but then again i need the money and with not that many jobs at the moment anyway.

I am quite scared to be honest because when something happens like this, i can spiral down into a depressive hole. I am not sure why but i think because i have trouble making decisions and get so confused, worried, but trying to not think of it too much. I quite often will just bury my head in the sand (watch films or tv series and get lost in them)

At the minute it is a tv series called "white collar". oh that just reminded me does anyone else, if they see something maybe in a film or whatever and they are doing something that they look happy, then you kind of get an urge/ fantasy to do it your self. Maybe it's because they look happy you think that you may get some happiness yourself.

For an example the "white collar" show, he is liked, happy, confident, now i do know that fraud and conning is wrong but it does cross my mind. i get this quite often, maybe it's just a little escape into fantasy world and escape reality lol

Again sorry for the long post, and if i go off track abit lol

Thanks again everyone

[athena2011]

Welcome Donnie,
You are among friends here. Don't worry if you don't fit into some nice little box to check off. I look at personality disorders as something different from compulsions, phobias, depression, anxiety etc. Those individual problems can arise somewhere along the way. But the personality disorders tend to be lifelong, from your very earliest memories, or from some traumatic event in childhood. To me, the personality disorders are the more insidious because you can't go back to a time when things were different and just go back there. You're starting from scratch. So I think those underlying disorders can cause many of the other problems, or at least make you more susceptible to them. Anyway, I hope that helps somewhat.