[palemoss]

I am suffering with how much I miss my ex.
I totally ruined it. This is a fact. He liked me alot but I was a borderline mess who took things way too seriously and just shoved him out of my life while he was experiencing hardship.

Ugh. I am horrible.

Anyway, it's been since Sept. I want to apologize in a cool and collected manner by writing him a note.

Does anyone have any advice?

[Helloanxiety]

I think writing him a note or email or letter would be a good idea. This way he'll have the chance to re-read it and think about what it says. Try to explain to him that you can't really help the way you were, i'm recently finding this out with my boyfriend who has bpd. Explain to him how you feel now and how you regret what you did. If he has feelings great enough to forgive you and accept your borderline then the two of you can start to deal with it when that time comes. If he cannot accept you and be willing to help you then perhaps it is a good thing he is your ex. Goodluck with it all!

[cboxpalace]

Why do you feel the need to write the letter?

What is it that you're expecting to accomplish?

Has he moved on with his life? If he has the letter probably won't be all that relevent to him...

I"m not trying to be an a$$hole about this.. I'm trying to understand what it is that you're trying to accomplish..

[cboxpalace]

Alternate advice:::: go into it with NO expectations from him.... Expect nothing from him... Here's why....You send your letter... He's moved on (let's say)... takes your letter and tosses it in the garbage. I think you need to make sure your intentions are pure from expectations. You write your letter, send it, you've done all you can. The end!

If he writes back great, and if not... there were no expectations from him so you won't have set urself up for heartache.

I think, the question you need to ask yourself is this... Can you write a letter, send it and be ok without getting a response or getting the response you'd like??? If you can send it... If you can't don't..

[palemoss]

i will be ok if he doesn't respond. i just dont want him to know that i never cared at all.

i will always love him.

[Forgive77]

Write the note if it makes you feel better. But CBOX is right....you gotta be detached. If you want to apologize etc. I think that'll be nice of you. Just do it not expecting an answer back. That's what I would do.