[ChristySpirals]

So I was driving today...actually I will go back a couple weeks as that seems to be the root of my paranoia. There is construction going on on my highway and I wasn't in the best of moods so when it was finally my turn to go I sped up really fast so my tires would spin and I shot rocks at the mother effer holding the 'Slow' sign (thinking to myself that they have poles for that type of job, more wasted tax dollars). Well my mood as significantly raised, very close to hypomania if not already tipped over. I was driving today and, me being in my good mood, I waved to them and slowed down to what they would like no problem....errr wrong. Those mother effers have memories like elephants and the truck drivers and pole workers were all being rude to me. I would go to pass the truck but he would drive in the middle of the road so I couldn`t pass!!!! I don`t understand how one little bad day could turn into all of them out to get me. My realistic side tells me today was just a strange turn of events but my other realistic side (my bpd and bp side when hyper happy) says those mother effers are out to get me. Would you be out to get me for shooting rocks, keep in mind I could of just been pegged as a stupid woman driver as I never once called them anything to their faces.

Originally Posted by ChristySpirals

So I was driving today...actually I will go back a couple weeks as that seems to be the root of my paranoia. There is construction going on on my highway and I wasn't in the best of moods so when it was finally my turn to go I sped up really fast so my tires would spin and I shot rocks at the mother effer holding the 'Slow' sign (thinking to myself that they have poles for that type of job, more wasted tax dollars). Well my mood as significantly raised, very close to hypomania if not already tipped over. I was driving today and, me being in my good mood, I waved to them and slowed down to what they would like no problem....errr wrong. Those mother effers have memories like elephants and the truck drivers and pole workers were all being rude to me. I would go to pass the truck but he would drive in the middle of the road so I couldn`t pass!!!! I don`t understand how one little bad day could turn into all of them out to get me. My realistic side tells me today was just a strange turn of events but my other realistic side (my bpd and bp side when hyper happy) says those mother effers are out to get me. Would you be out to get me for shooting rocks, keep in mind I could of just been pegged as a stupid woman driver as I never once called them anything to their faces.

you make me smile J.....amazing little story beautiful reccollection of potentially meaningless events that can change us forever oh my god!

afflictions and harrassments from the nobodies....nobodys....(how the crap is it spelled or spelt or whatever?)

how do we defend ourselves when surrounded by such immaculate disregard ?

I don't know we are like tropical fish in a frothy sharkpool

[Girl_Interrupted]

Well to be honest, what do you expect? xD

You're not gonna like this, but you can't take your mood out on others and expect them not to feel some hatred towards you.
If you took out his eye with a rock or something, or a rock hit his head and cracked it open, you'd be in serious trouble.

I'm pretty sure you'd feel the same if you were the person holding the sign, and they were the person driving the car.

They are not out to get you though.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by ChristySpirals

so when it was finally my turn to go I sped up really fast so my tires would spin and I shot rocks at the mother effer holding the 'Slow' sign (thinking to myself that they have poles for that type of job, more wasted tax dollars).

Umm... on the OTHER side of that SLOW sign, there is a STOP sign, so yes, it does require a human to operate it. Where do you think the roads you drive on come from - the Easter bunny? You're lucky you didn't get a ticket, and they are not cheap for construction areas.

[ChristySpirals]

Yes I am lucky for sure, lucky they weren`t hurt and lucky for no tickets. I was going thru a med change at the time, not like that is a good excuse, but it is my excuse because normally I would just feel the typical annoyance at the minor inconvenience.

[unaluna]

yeah somebody else on here wondered if their wellbutrin gave them road rage, and then someone else said it did for them too, then that got me wondering - now that i'm off it, even tho I don't drive as much, I am MUCH calmer driving. road rage was ALWAYS a problem for me, since I began driving, which was WAAAAY before prozac was even invented. mostly I just used really really really bad language (windows up!), which just amazed my passengers, as I was such a sweet young thang

[NYCDoglvr]

You're not gonna like this, but you can't take your mood out on others and expect them not to feel some hatred towards you.
If you took out his eye with a rock or something, or a rock hit his head and cracked it open, you'd be in serious trouble.

Ditto. And the earth doesn't revolve around you and your moods.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

People will not always forgive behavior.

I guess those road people did not.

But oh well.

I relate to anger issues and struggling to control behavior when I am angry. I had a day like that today. I h ad to work at controlling myself today, esp when my roommate accidentally locked me out of the apt and then moved the fridge (he was cleaning it, bless him) when I needed something to eat. Okay, I went "hey Bruce, I need something from the fridge, please" and I had to keep my voice down. And keep myself from going, "D it! you're still cleaning the gd fridge?!" lol

BPD anger is no fun and it can hurt others, too.

I identify, Christy. Hang in there.

Billi

[cboxpalace]

Girl Interrupted, hankster, Nycdoglvr are right on the money..

Dubblemonkey and Billi no idea what you two are talking about, and I'm sure if someone did that to you, we'd be hearing your stories of how people are rude, and inconsiderate.

Christy you ought to consider yourself lucky that you didn't seriously hurt someone with flying rocks, because you would've had to deal with the consequences and no one would've cared about your moods or that your having a bad day or that you have bpd. My advice.. think twice next time..

There are reasons why laws exist about slowing down in constructions zones, etc. Road construction workers have very dangerous jobs and it only takes one person who refuses to have a bit of patience to cause a terrible accident. Please, please spend less time indulging your mood under circumstances where other people can end up seriously hurt. No one will care about your excuse of a med change or BPD if you hurt or mame someone and end up getting arrested; you probably won't either actually when or if you have to deal with the aftermath and true guilt that would ensue. Please be more careful for your own sake as well as others.

[Fleur**]

I don't blame them. To be honest, their reaction is a normal reaction to an abnormal event. However, don't beat yourself up about it. That is unhelpful. Just take it as a reinforcement of what anyone with Bpd already knows- acting out just causes more problems in the long run!