Big decision

I have two weeks to decide whether to return to college next semester and I am so torn because my BPD has been hellish this summer. And after a spring semester of breakdowns and a resulting awful GPA, I'm afraid of wasting money on tuition if it's just going to happen again. I'm just starting DBT group, and I'm worried about making progress and cutting it short to leave for school.

At the same time, I have a ton of obligations to my job at school and other things that are extremely important to me. I don't know if I can deal with disappointing so many people and most importantly, myself. I'm afraid of spending the fall months feeling more like a failure than I do now because I'm not at school. I'm afraid that would hurt my treatment and make it all pointless. Can anyone offer some guidance? I can seriously be swayed very easily in either direction at this point.

Can you take a reduced course load or attend part-time? Are you registered with the school's disability office? If not, make an appointment. They can help by providing accommodations and counselling.

If a reduced course load is not possible, maybe you need a break from class to work on yourself and get better. It is perfectly acceptable to take some time off. Many students do.

If you do decide to return to school, try to keep life manageable. Do not over commit yourself, with work and so on. Identify your limits and work within them.

Don't attend college for anyone else but yourself. Fulfilling other people's dreams and expectations is not fair to you and it is self limiting.

Didgee, a fellow university student

If you're just starting dbt then make it a priority to finish dbt. This is not something you can go to for a few weeks or a few months and get much out of it.

It is not a quick fix, and it really takes a year in the program to fully grasp the concepts and working at integrating those skills into your life which will be a full time job for the rest of your life.

I feel you. I am having this same issue right now. I am in an online Masters program and feel like I cannot handle it due to my BPD. I am strongly considering dropping out and trying again when I am a little more healthy, but am nervous about the repercussions.

Sorry I don't have any answers for you, I hardly have any for myself either.

I think this fact has to pretty much make my decision for me. You guys are all right, and making your own mental health a priority over what's always been normal is really, really, really hard and scary.

Everyone in my family keeps saying, "Take the rest of the summer to relax and then you'll be fine." As if BPD comes from stress alone...ah, if relaxing were a treatment, life would be wonderful!

I would advise you to stick with continuing to work through the DBT group before going back to school & adding more daily stress to your life. Spring semester was difficult for you ~ professors will understand if you need to take the Fall semester off to work on yourself, rather than up the possibility of your GPA coming down even lower! Perhaps you'll still be able to work your job at the school, to make some money, without taking any classes.

I wouldn't recommend committing yourself to more than half-time. Didgee had a great tip in that you should check out the school's disability office to see if they can make any accommodations to make the learning experience less demanding for you. I used to get double time for my tests, as it takes longer for me to process information. I didn't even know that until I was a sophomore in college. It did help me to use their service on classes that had a lot of steps to follow in following directions properly & taking in all information provided so I could solve the problem. Like Chemistry, Microbiology, Calculus, Advanced Statistics ~ very detail oriented classes.

Best wishes to you!

Do the DBT...if you go to school you'll just flare right up. Wait till after you finish therapy and get the gold star. I screwed up nursing school by going back too quick.