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BorderlineAnn
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Member Since Sep 2007
Location: south central pa
Posts: 24
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Default Jul 20, 2012 at 04:52 PM
  #1
Hi, I"m so confused and freaking out right now. Started off this morning, couldn't sit still. Was at work early to unload the truck. I was literally wheeling my chair back and forth couldn't sit still. I often need an ativan for truck, since I'll freak out about the noise/danger of things falling off the rollers. So, had one. Any way was zooom zoom zoom the whole time, noticed myself having a hard time as the day went on with impulse control. Big time. Gotta watch my mouth. Did have some power though cause I managed to refrain from jumping on things and crap like that. Realized what I was doing, and was getting irritable at the same time. Talking to myself a lot. So took a 2nd ativan (doc has said this is fine as i'm on a low dose). After awhile, not sure if it was from that or eatting a little lunch, I lost all the pep energy and just got misearable dazed. I was worthless, out of an immediate task, staring off and just kinda bumping around while attempting to do things. Bumbling is a word that comes to mind as I tried to get things done. Oh and of course the anxiety. I decided I must be having a heart attack soon since it hurt in my armpit and then I got heartburn. Hadn't I read these were symptoms somewhere.... I have been at this job 2+ years, and never had a "mental health day". Unfortunately I couldn't really go home. And I can't call off tomorrow. This is my career job... I don't want to turn into the "crazy girl" at work. I mean they know I have some ****....but they hadn't seen it cranked past maybe a 2.5. This was a 7.75, easy on the 1-10 scale. (1-10 isn't specific enough, hence the decimals). What if this is the beginning of a major trip needing hospitial or something? I have 40hrs sick, but I don't think there's a good facility close by....Does anyone else ever have a like, 1-day-breakdown? I mean even the paranoia is bad when I stop and let myself think. I start with a T on monday...but right now thats a LONG way away. Oh, and I don't know what all symptoms fall into the borderline (the lines get a little hazy for me), but I also have Bipolar and Panic disorders. Sorry this is long I never seem to have a simple to put together question.
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Open Eyes
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Default Jul 20, 2012 at 05:17 PM
  #2
You said you have a new T appointment coming up, can I make a suggestion? Just glancing at your post and the disorders you have, maybe you should ask this new T if you are actually dealing with PTSD verses these other disorders.

The up and down and irritablitily and anxiety, these are also symptoms of PTSD.
And one day I asked my T about borderline personality disorder and he told me that often if you dig into their past these patients suffered abuse and they CAN be helped by therapy. He also said that it is important they are not being misdiagnosed.

Just a thought,
Open Eyes
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