[SwayintheBreeze]

My heart is pounding.. I feel so nauseous and all I want to do is curl up and cry.. I just want to get through a whole day without falling apart! WTH is wrong with me? Why is this so freaking hard everyday all day.. I am soooo tired.. so tired.. all I want to do is lay in bed.. it takes everything I am not to just stay there.

How am I supposed to goto work tomorrow and put on my happy face when inside I feel like I'm aching..

The roller coaster can stop now - I want to get off!!!

[SwayintheBreeze]

Did I mention that my husband is leaving me.. Just found out.. when it rains....

[Sazi22]

Do you see a therapist? Are you on any meds? Maybe they need readjusting to get you through this time...

[MDDBPDPTSD]

So sorry Sway.
The only way you can make it through is one minute, possibly one second, at a time.

Just do the best you can do. It is all you can expect from yourself.

I would suggest that you continue to reach out to your support system, friends, therapist, etc. And of course, continue posting here. We are here to help each other.

[SwayintheBreeze]

I am seeing a therapist.. I will be calling him in the morning.. and yes to medication as well.. he said he's tried for 2 years and I haven't.. this is my fault.. I feel ill.. the self-hatred and loathing is far from over.. especially when he blames me for this break up.. when i'm the one standing here fighting wanting to do everything to keep us together and he's the one leaving..

Originally Posted by SwayintheBreeze

.. he said he's tried for 2 years and I haven't.. this is my fault.. I feel ill.. the self-hatred and loathing is far from over.. especially when he blames me for this break up.. when i'm the one standing here fighting wanting to do everything to keep us together and he's the one leaving..

It's never as simple as they want to make it sound "you're not trying" I've heard that so many times, it's ridiculous. Come to find out pretty quickly that my ex's socializing was more important than staying married. So it never really was that I didn't. I was always there, she was the one outside having her own separate social life. I was supporting us, she was playing. How was I not trying? o.O So... my point being, you probably were. I believe that. But if you suffer from BPD, then day to day life is difficult at best.

My heart goes out to you.