Hey,

I'm trying to get more information on this disorder, and what better place than from people like me who live with it? I'm going to post some questions I'd like you to answer about BPD and your experience with it.

Just copy and paste into the reply and answer away. Please don't feel pressured to answer, if you only want to answer a few go for it. If a question is too weird, personal, irrelevant, or stupid for you delete it and skip it . Sorry if this sounds very clinical, it's just something I think will help me to understand this thing better. Here we go

- How long have you known you've had Borderline Personality Disorder?

- Do you suffer from other disorders/ mental illnesses in addition to BPD? (If yes, which ones?)

- Do you feel that your traits have improved over time?

- Are you currently in counselling, therapy, CBT or DBT? If yes, which ones?

- If you are currently in therapy of some kind, do you feel it helps you? How?

- Are you currently taking medication to manage your BPD? (if yes, which ones?)

- Where do you feel your BPD 'came from'? (ie. runs in the family, trauma, abuse, neglect, don't know).

- Are you currently in a relationship?
(If yes, do you have problems in that relationship because of your BPD? what kinds?)

- Do you have a hard time keeping friends?

- In 5 words or less, please describe yourself.

- What is one thing you dislike the most about having BPD?

- Does BPD conflict with your job/work/school?

- Do you, or have you in the past, abused alcohol or substances?

- Do you self-harm?

- Do you feel that this site helps you? (If yes, how?)

- What is one thing you really like about yourself?

- How long have you known you've had Borderline Personality Disorder?
I have known about it since February when in was introduced to me by someone who has since, ironically, abandoned me. He came across it through a website called StumbleUpon. I'd never heard about it before and didn't want to believe I had it at first, but when I read the traits I really couldn't deny it. At some point or another, I have had all of the traits. I have not yet been officially diagnosed, but meeting all of you has confirmed my "self-diagnosis" in my mind.

- Do you suffer from other disorders/ mental illnesses in addition to BPD? (If yes, which ones?)
I have pretty bad depression and anxiety which are probably directly related to the BPD.

- Do you feel that your traits have improved over time?
My traits have been with me since I was very young and have never gone away, but they get better or worse depending on life events. I've been in a stable relationship for forever and it eased much of my traits. I haven't been suicidial or self-harmed in years....until recently. I believe a large part of this is because I have not had any close relationships in a very long time. I allowed this one person in back in January, and all of the traits instantly, in less than a week, increased and those that had disappeared completely came back.

- Are you currently in counselling, therapy, CBT or DBT? If yes, which ones?
I began therapy in May, but not long after, we decided to move and I stopped since it usually takes a long-time committment with a therapist for any positive results. Since I knew I wouldn't be able to see anyone for a while, I did extensive reading on it and started some meditation techniques that were supposed to help, and did a bit. Since joining PC, I have learned about DBT, and I started the Yahoo DBT class about three or four weeks ago. I think the meditation stuff I did prior to the DBT class helped with the DBT....it gave me the basic concepts without going in to the DBT details.

- If you are currently in therapy of some kind, do you feel it helps you? How?
I am not in any kind of therapy at the moment, except what I've been able to come up with on my own, but I am looking forward to starting something as soon as life's bumps from moving straighten out a bit.

- Are you currently taking medication to manage your BPD? (if yes, which ones?)
My family practicioner and short-term therapist prescribed Xanax and Zoloft to help with the depression and anxiety. I don't think the Zoloft did anything. The Xanax helps when the anxiety gets really bad. I use it sparingly because I don't want to worry about addiction. To be honest, a good stiff drink works as well as the Xanax.

- Where do you feel your BPD 'came from'? (ie. runs in the family, trauma, abuse, neglect, don't know).
I have no actual proof, but I believe my mom has BPD. Growing up, she would totally ignore me when she thought I'd abandoned her (when I'd do something with someone else instead of her), and she wrote me at least one letter everyday while I was in college telling me how I was such a bad daughter for leaving and that I had/would abandon her. I DO know that my issues stem from the way I was treated as I was growing up.

- Are you currently in a relationship?
(If yes, do you have problems in that relationship because of your BPD? what kinds?)
I am in a long-term relationship that I've been in since I was 16 years old. I honestly don't know why/how my husband stayed...I drove him crazy for over 10 years with the constant pulling in/pushing away, clinginess, manipulation, and imaginary abandonment issues. I know for certain that I was the reason he broke up with his best friend....I'd flip out whenever they wanted to do something together. Now, he has gotten to know me and usually knows what to do to cause a lot of the conflicts....but they still happen regularly. We have constant misunderstandings, usually from my thinking he misunderstood me or is ignoring me. I'd tried to share what I've discovered about BPD with him. I actually wrote him a note going through each trait and how it applies to me....but I've had no luck getting him to understand. He basically pooh-poohs the the idea saying that depending on how you interpret each trait, ANYONE could have five of those traits. It's been extremely frustrating. I can't talk about it at all. That's something my mom gave me..."don't you EVER tell anyone about our personal problems"....

- Do you have a hard time keeping friends?
What's a friend? I push people away before a friendship can develop, and when someone does "get in" like this person back in January, I go through the entire pull/push, manipulation, clinginess routine until they abandon me.... I've had two "friends" in the past 20 years...focus on the word HAD. That is the biggest reason I want to attend therapy. I want friends more than pretty much anything, but until my mindset can change, it's not going to happen.

- In 5 words or less, please describe yourself.
alone, needy, misunderstood, emotional

- What is one thing you dislike the most about having BPD?
Being constantly misunderstood and misunderstanding others. Not being able to have friends or anyone close to me.

- Does BPD conflict with your job/work/school?
I am a teacher. My first few years were almost impossible. When the students would act up I took it personally and they knew I was getting upset so they'd act up even more. I'd start disassociating in the classroom to "get away" from the emotions. Things have eased up the last ten years ago...until recently when I started having major issues again. I was hard to keep the emotions from my demeanor as I was teaching.

- Do you, or have you in the past, abused alcohol or substances?
Alcohol, yes. Would like to get some marijuana but don't have access. I also tried DXM (the stuff in cough meds that teenagers get high on).

- Do you self-harm?
Yes...but I've tried to cut and it's not me. When I was in high school, I would hit the lockers as hard as I could and bruise/bloody my knuckles or clench my fist until my nails left bloody marks in my palm. More recently, I have snapped a rubber band on my wrist until I have large welts, pinched sensitive skin until I get bruises, or raked my nails down my bare legs.

- Do you feel that this site helps you? (If yes, how?)
GIGANTICALLY. I've always felt very, very alone and misunderstood by everyone and this site has shown me that others DO have my mindset and that I'm not alone. I believe that has been a type of therapy in itself. I don't dwell on things and think "why me" as much as I used to.

- What is one thing you really like about yourself?
I am fairly well educated and am a fairly good writer. I have about five writing projects that I've never finished and am trying to stay on track and get one done.

wow, thanks carmasia, and GREAT answers! You are a very good writer. I'm glad these forums help to give you hope, I think it's pretty awesome. These answers really help me to see the disorder a bit better.

I relate to so many of the things you've said..

[SwayintheBreeze]

Originally Posted by stratocaster

Hey,

I'm trying to get more information on this disorder, and what better place than from people like me who live with it? I'm going to post some questions I'd like you to answer about BPD and your experience with it.

Just copy and paste into the reply and answer away. Please don't feel pressured to answer, if you only want to answer a few go for it. If a question is too weird, personal, irrelevant, or stupid for you delete it and skip it . Sorry if this sounds very clinical, it's just something I think will help me to understand this thing better. Here we go

That's quite the list of questions SC.. seems like a research study? (sorry if i sound paranoid)

How long have you known you've had Borderline Personality Disorder? 5 Years

- Do you suffer from other disorders/ mental illnesses in addition to BPD? (If yes, which ones?) PTSD and Depression.

- Do you feel that your traits have improved over time? No, I feel they have got worse I think maybe because I have a lot happening in life.

- Are you currently in counselling, therapy, CBT or DBT? If yes, which ones? CBT

- If you are currently in therapy of some kind, do you feel it helps you? How? Only had 2 sessions and found it helpful so far.

- Are you currently taking medication to manage your BPD? (if yes, which ones?)
citalopram and duloxetine
- Where do you feel your BPD 'came from'? (ie. runs in the family, trauma, abuse, neglect, don't know). My pdoc thinks due to me being sexually abused, I do have a brother who has schizophrenia though.

- Are you currently in a relationship?
(If yes, do you have problems in that relationship because of your BPD? what kinds?) I am married, I did at the start took me a long time to trust my hubby but it is ok now, I don't like being around men much though.

- Do you have a hard time keeping friends? Yeah, Always have since school age.

- In 5 words or less, please describe yourself. Shy, Emotional, Fragile, Honest.

- What is one thing you dislike the most about having BPD? Not having the trust.

- Does BPD conflict with your job/work/school? I don't work but it does affect my social life.

- Do you, or have you in the past, abused alcohol or substances? N/A

- Do you self-harm? Yeah.

- Do you feel that this site helps you? (If yes, how?) I have spoke with many lovely people here and I can always vent my feelings whenever I feel the need something I can't do in real life.

- What is one thing you really like about yourself? At the moment nothing.

Originally Posted by SwayintheBreeze

That's quite the list of questions SC.. seems like a research study? (sorry if i sound paranoid)

I understand your concern, but I don't really have anything to hide...on here. I can't talk, though, and you wouldn't be able to get anything out of me in person or over the phone. I am completely comfortable writing however, and probably say more than I should in this medium.

Originally Posted by carmasia

I understand your concern, but I don't really have anything to hide...on here. I can't talk, though, and you wouldn't be able to get anything out of me in person or over the phone. I am completely comfortable writing however, and probably say more than I should in this medium.

I agree with you, It is not as if we're giving out personal information but I can see how some might be paranoid too.

[darkmood]

- How long have you known you've had Borderline Personality Disorder? I thought I had it for the last 6 yrs but just found out for sure

- Do you suffer from other disorders/ mental illnesses in addition to BPD? (If yes, which ones?) Bipolar and depression

- Do you feel that your traits have improved over time? just started working through this

- Are you currently in counselling, therapy, CBT or DBT? If yes, which ones? therapy, CBT and DBT

- If you are currently in therapy of some kind, do you feel it helps you? How?
just started DBT but I see if I learn the techques to relieve symthoms I can see it working
- Are you currently taking medication to manage your BPD? (if yes, which ones?) Just mood atablizers and a anti depressant
-
Where do you feel your BPD 'came from'? (ie. runs in the family, trauma, abuse, neglect, don't know). Dont know

- Are you currently in a relationship?
(If yes, do you have problems in that relationship because of your BPD? what kinds?)
no not in a relationship
- Do you have a hard time keeping friends? no

- In 5 words or less, please describe yourself. Caring,good listener loving

- What is one thing you dislike the most about having BPD?
the being alone
- Does BPD conflict with your job/work/school? yes

- Do you, or have you in the past, abused alcohol or substances?
no

- Do you self-harm?
yes

- Do you feel that this site helps you? (If yes, how?) really do not use this site

- What is one thing you really like about yourself?
I show empathy for people I try to put myself in their shoes when they are suffering with there illness

stratocasterView Public ProfileSend a private message to stratocasterFind More Posts by stratocasterAdd stratocaster to Your Contacts

Today, 10:20 AM #2 carmasia
Member


carmasia "I am a rock, I am an island," ....or at least I want to be.

Member Since: Jul 2012
Location: ID
Posts: 157 (SuperPoster!)
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Re: ? BPD Questions ?

[SwayintheBreeze]

How long have you known you've had Borderline Personality Disorder?
Looking back, I've had it since my late teens early 20s.. I only recently found out that I have almost all of the BPD traits. It just kind of clicked.

- Do you suffer from other disorders/ mental illnesses in addition to BPD? (If yes, which ones?)

Yes. severe anxiety and depression aka the double whammie

- Do you feel that your traits have improved over time?

I think some of my traits are not as severe as they were in my "younger" years.. but they are still there now. So, improved? yes somewhat in some traits.

- Are you currently in counselling, therapy, CBT or DBT? If yes, which ones?

No

- If you are currently in therapy of some kind, do you feel it helps you? How?

I see a psychologist once a week (roughly) til I get frustrated or scared and quit again for a few months (i've done that twice). It does help most of the time but I find he can sometimes delve into areas I may not be ready or willing to talk about quite yet and I quit, walk away or shut down.

- Are you currently taking medication to manage your BPD? (if yes, which ones?)

I am on ciprolex and trazadone right now. I have stopped taking both - ciprolex gave me horrendous side effects at a higher dose. Trazadone I take now to help me sleep.

- Where do you feel your BPD 'came from'? (ie. runs in the family, trauma, abuse, neglect, don't know).

Childhood abuse.

- Are you currently in a relationship?
(If yes, do you have problems in that relationship because of your BPD? what kinds?)

I am in a relationship that is ending. BPD has caused many issues in many relationships.

- Do you have a hard time keeping friends?

I do have a hard time making and keeping friends.

- In 5 words or less, please describe yourself.

needy, alone, anxious, tired, lost

- What is one thing you dislike the most about having BPD?

erratic behaviours/wild emotional reactions

- Does BPD conflict with your job/work/school?

yes at times

- Do you, or have you in the past, abused alcohol or substances?

yes alcohol and cigarettes

- Do you self-harm?

No

- Do you feel that this site helps you? (If yes, how?)

yes.. makes me feel supported and not alone

- What is one thing you really like about yourself?

Thats a very tough question today. nothing

[dillpickle1983]

Originally Posted by stratocaster

Hey,

I'm trying to get more information on this disorder, and what better place than from people like me who live with it? I'm going to post some questions I'd like you to answer about BPD and your experience with it.

Just copy and paste into the reply and answer away. Please don't feel pressured to answer, if you only want to answer a few go for it. If a question is too weird, personal, irrelevant, or stupid for you delete it and skip it . Sorry if this sounds very clinical, it's just something I think will help me to understand this thing better. Here we go

- How long have you known you've had Borderline Personality Disorder? About 6 months

- Do you suffer from other disorders/ mental illnesses in addition to BPD? (If yes, which ones?)
Major Depression, Bipolar 1, Generalized Anxiety Disorder

- Do you feel that your traits have improved over time?
No I think my traits have become stronger since being diagnosed

- Are you currently in counselling, therapy, CBT or DBT? If yes, which ones?
I'm in counseling, but not cbt or dbt.

- If you are currently in therapy of some kind, do you feel it helps you? How?
Yes I am in counseling, no it really isn't helping my BPD at this point.

- Are you currently taking medication to manage your BPD? (if yes, which ones?)
Seroquel, Paxil, Buspar, Depakote, Loxapine

- Where do you feel your BPD 'came from'? (ie. runs in the family, trauma, abuse, neglect, don't know).
I feel it stems from my mental abuse from my sister. My family has a strong instance with mental illness to begin with.

- Are you currently in a relationship?
No, I am single

(If yes, do you have problems in that relationship because of your BPD? what kinds?)
I think my last relationship was broken by my undiagnosed BPD.

- Do you have a hard time keeping friends?
I do! I don't make friends often either.

- In 5 words or less, please describe yourself.
Kind, Affectionate, Mental, Needy, Clingy

- What is one thing you dislike the most about having BPD?
The mood swings

- Does BPD conflict with your job/work/school?
I don't work.

- Do you, or have you in the past, abused alcohol or substances?
Yes I smoke like its going out of style.

- Do you self-harm?
Not really.
- Do you feel that this site helps you? (If yes, how?)
This site has been a tremendous help to me. I have met a lot of great folks on here.
- What is one thing you really like about yourself?

N/A right now

Hey ladies and gents, awesome answers. Thank you! Keep going, and if you want to add your own questions go for it.

I understand the paranoia, and just to clarify this is not for any use other than for personal knowledge. I am trying to understand the disorder a bit better from real people like me who suffer from it. All of what I read has come from a very objective, clinical approach (ie. textbooks, online info, self-help books etc.), I thought I'd just ask my fellow sufferers to get a real human idea about this disorder. (I still feel very limited in my knowledge and like to compare thoughts about it). More knowledge about something sort of helps me to figure out what to do next about it...understanding helps take the power out of it I suppose. I have taken a lot of psych in university and maybe the rigid writing style comes through, sorry about that.

Findings so far: we're all in the same boat, I identify with each and every one of you. Your answers are great, very honest and authentic.

I'll answer these myself, too:

- How long have you known you've had Borderline Personality Disorder?
Just a few days now, maybe 3 or 4. I always just thought I was sensitive and emotional. My significant other (who ironically works in mental health) began to say "hey, you're showing traits of a borderline." I started looking it up (after much denial and defensiveness) and alas, here I am.

- Do you suffer from other disorders/ mental illnesses in addition to BPD? (If yes, which ones?)
Anxiety, panic attacks, depression, alcoholism (could be all related to my BPD though, I'm not sure).

- Do you feel that your traits have improved over time?
Uh, no. they've been unfortunately consistent.

- Are you currently in counselling, therapy, CBT or DBT? If yes, which ones?
Not at the moment; I was in CBT for a bit for severe anxiety, along with counselling and regular visits to a psych. But I plan on going back into CBT and trying out DBT hopefully. I am currently in recovery for alcoholism.

- If you are currently in therapy of some kind, do you feel it helps you? How?
N/A

- Are you currently taking medication to manage your BPD? (if yes, which ones?)
No, but I take Effexor xr to manage my anxiety and depression it works for those aspects at least.

- Where do you feel your BPD 'came from'? (ie. runs in the family, trauma, abuse, neglect, don't know).
Very early childhood trauma, loss of a parent as a child, dysfunctional family.

- Are you currently in a relationship?
(If yes, do you have problems in that relationship because of your BPD? what kinds?)
I am in a long term relationship. We do have problems because of my BPD, I will get defensive, angry, needy for reassurance, paranoid, insecure. I will react without thinking. We get into struggles because of it yes. Luckily my partner has strong boundaries, so our relationship isn't as toxic as it could be.

- Do you have a hard time keeping friends?
Sometimes. It all depends on the friend I guess. I still talk with a friend I've had since grade 2 regularly, a few others from college. I burned a lot of bridges during my drinking days, but that could be from the alcoholism or the bpd, but I'm guessing it's a combo of both.

- In 5 words or less, please describe yourself.
emotional. smart. overthinker. affectionate. needy.

- What is one thing you dislike the most about having BPD?
The constant feelings of alienation (aloneness).

- Does BPD conflict with your job/work/school?
Not too much I work at home, so yeah lol. When I was in university the anxiety affected me a lot and I was constantly self-critical.

- Do you, or have you in the past, abused alcohol or substances?
Yes, I'm an alcoholic. I've smoked weed a lot in the past and have tried ecstacy, salvia and psilocybin mushrooms.

- Do you self-harm?
No, I mentally beat myself up relentlessly. I used to drink to the point of comatose with alcohol, though. So I at least have that under control now.

- Do you feel that this site helps you? (If yes, how?)
Yes. It helps me identify with others who are living with the same disorder. I feel solidarity as if I'm a worker among workers toward better self-understanding and health. I'm very grateful I've found this place and just want to thank all of you for being so supportive and making me feel so welcome. It makes such a huge difference. I could not imagine, 3 days after I come to terms with my disorder sitting alone in my head with that info. thank you.

- What is one thing you really like about yourself?
I really love to make people laugh.

[Stormy Seas]

How long have you known you've had Borderline Personality Disorder?
Just recently DX.
Looking back now I can see a pattern of BDP behavior back to my child hood.
I was DX Bipolar in my 20's
I thought all my behavior was patterns were due to Bipolar didn't know any thing about BDP.
Just recently trying to figure out the differences between the 2.

- Do you suffer from other disorders/ mental illnesses in addition to BPD? (If yes, which ones?) Bipolar, Generalized anxiety disorder ,

- Do you feel that your traits have improved over time?
I am more aware , I'm not sure if that is good or bad

- Are you currently in counselling, therapy, CBT or DBT? If yes, which ones?
currently I'm in therapy and DBT.
4 therapy sessions ,2 DBT sessions

- If you are currently in therapy of some kind, do you feel it helps you? How?
Yes. I feel it helps because I have no one else to talk to who could possibly understand

- Are you currently taking medication to manage your BPD? (if yes, which ones?)Hydroxizine at night to sleep , ocassionaly lorazapam, been on many different meds , I don't tolerate meds well.

- Where do you feel your BPD 'came from'? (ie. runs in the family, trauma, abuse, neglect, don't know).Runs in the family, neglect , very rough childhood.
My child hood was nowhere near stabile

- Are you currently in a relationship?
(If yes, do you have problems in that relationship because of your BPD? what kinds?)yes married 25 years , It has been a rocky road .I can't seem to let go of the past and always bring up old stuff in arguements . I have raged many a times , although have mellowed with age, I still get upset over the smallest things.
I get mad when spouse doesn't agree with every thing I say and feel.
Spouse says he can not talk to me , and doesnt because I'm to emotional.
We are more like room mates

- Do you have a hard time keeping friends?
I don't like to let any one get real close , out of fear they wont like me.

- In 5 words or less, please describe yourself.
Sad, angry at the world, missunderstood

- What is one thing you dislike the most about having BPD?
I hate every thing about it ! jumping to conclusions

- Does BPD conflict with your job/work/school?

- Do you, or have you in the past, abused alcohol or substances?
Alcohol -yes

- Do you self-harm?
Does verbal abuse count? I hate myself

- Do you feel that this site helps you? (If yes, how?)
yes , because it is good to know we are not alone in this.

- What is one thing you really like about yourself? T
That I'm a compassionate person, I do have a big heart

[Stormy Seas]

Oh I missed the work or school question.
I have quit more jobs , can't hold a job .
When I feel slighted I get upset and quit, usually in a rage .trying real hard to see these patterns now to change that.
I'm 46 and the longest I ever held a job was 8 months. sad
High school drop out , couldn't deal with school , it felt like such a hostile environment for me.

Thank you Stormy, great answers.

[shezbut]

- How long have you known you've had Borderline Personality Disorder? 2 or 3 years, I think. My current pDoc and T aren't real willing agree with that Dx though. They prefer to treat my symptoms and avoid discussing Dx.

- Do you suffer from other disorders/ mental illnesses in addition to BPD? (If yes, which ones?) Major depression and PTSD

- Do you feel that your traits have improved over time? No, not really

- Are you currently in counselling, therapy, CBT or DBT? If yes, which ones? I am in counseling with a T that uses a variety of styles. That's helpful for me, though I recognize & dislike whenever he uses CBT. I'm hoping to get back into DBT classes very soon!

- If you are currently in therapy of some kind, do you feel it helps you? How? Look 1 Q above....

- Are you currently taking medication to manage your BPD? (if yes, which ones?) Yes, several different meds. Needing a change, but I have medical issues which complicate prospective meds list.

- Where do you feel your BPD 'came from'? (ie. runs in the family, trauma, abuse, neglect, don't know). Trauma, abuse, and neglect in my early childhood through mid teenage years. Sick immediate and extended family!

- Are you currently in a relationship?
(If yes, do you have problems in that relationship because of your BPD? what kinds?) Yes, communication is HUGE. I suck at it, but I expect a lot out of my bf.

- Do you have a hard time keeping friends? Yes, very hard! I don't have any IRW.

- In 5 words or less, please describe yourself. My self-hate is immense!

- What is one thing you dislike the most about having BPD? f'ing emotions

- Does BPD conflict with your job/work/school? Yes, jobs typically don't hold my devotion very long at all

- Do you, or have you in the past, abused alcohol or substances?
In the past, I abused alcohol, marijuana (I grew up w/both in my dysfunctional, sick family) and cocaine. After more than 14 years of complete sobriety, I'm now back to occasional "drinking nights".

- Do you self-harm? Not physically. My harm is psychological.

- Do you feel that this site helps you? (If yes, how?) Yes, it helps to share my variety of experiences to help others before things get too hard for them to take. It's also reassuring to get a hug or two when I need it.

- What is one thing you really like about yourself?[/quote] UGH!! I kind of like that I do keep trying to get better.

Good answers shez.
Trying to get better is an awesome thing! I always admire it in people...it takes a lot of courage to admit you have problems. This goes for everyone here

[SillyKitty]

- How long have you known you've had Borderline Personality Disorder?
Diagnosed about a month ago, but have shown symptoms consistently since I was about 15. My BPD sister has been telling me I am for years.

- Do you suffer from other disorders/ mental illnesses in addition to BPD? (If yes, which ones?)
Bipolar I, PTSD, and Generalized Anxiety Disorder

- Do you feel that your traits have improved over time?
If anything, they've gotten worse with time, but I am now in treatment, so keep your fingers crossed for me.

- Are you currently in counseling, therapy, CBT or DBT? If yes, which ones?
I am under the care of a psychiatrist and counselor. Currently I am in a Partial Hospitalization Program (with 2 hrs of CBT a week).

- If you are currently in therapy of some kind, do you feel it helps you? How?
Partial Hospitalization where I am is 9-3 daily group therapy combined with once a week Individualized session and psychiatric appointment. I feel like the group really does help. Just talking and knowing others are going through problems and seeking help makes me feel like I'm not alone. The psychiatrist at the place I'm going sees my every week rather than every 6 so my med management has really improved.

- Are you currently taking medication to manage your BPD? (if yes, which ones?)
Lamictal 150mg, Propranolol 10-20mg, Abilify 2mg, Seroquil ?mg (it's in my signature, and Trazodone 50mg. I tried 200mg of Lamictal, but didn't see any difference so I stepped back down to 150. I also tried getting off the Trazodone, but that didn't work so well either.

- Where do you feel your BPD 'came from'? (ie. runs in the family, trauma, abuse, neglect, don't know).
Definitely runs in the family, but suffered trauma and abuse as well, so I think about 70/30.

- Are you currently in a relationship?
(If yes, do you have problems in that relationship because of your BPD? what kinds?)
Married and my anger and addictive behaviour and inability to hold down a job definitely cause problems. Add my Bipolar symptoms to the mix...let's just say my husband loves me.

- Do you have a hard time keeping friends?
I have a hard time maintaining any relationships because I bore easily and Bipolar stuff makes it hard, too (depressive episodes).

- In 5 words or less, please describe yourself.
I don't know.

- What is one thing you dislike the most about having BPD?
Not being able to control my anger

- Does BPD conflict with your job/work/school?
I went to 3 different universities spread out over 9 years. I have had 15 jobs over 16 years (6 years unemployed)...16 jobs if you count temp work.

- Do you, or have you in the past, abused alcohol or substances?
Both

- Do you self-harm?
Yes

- Do you feel that this site helps you? (If yes, how?)
Yes, It helps to talk in a "safe place" and to feel useful by helping others. A lot like group, but more anonymous.

- What is one thing you really like about yourself?

Thanks silly!

Well your answers are helpful! Relating experiences helps us all to understand ourselves better

[ggtina]

- How long have you known you've had Borderline Personality Disorder?
Since March of 2006 so 6 1/2 years.

- Do you suffer from other disorders/ mental illnesses in addition to BPD? (If yes, which ones?)
Bipolar II Disorder & Depression
- Do you feel that your traits have improved over time?
They fluctuate a lot right now but I am off all my meds because I am a stupid.

- Are you currently in counselling, therapy, CBT or DBT? If yes, which ones?
No because frankly I don't give a flying crapola right now. My pdoc want's me to see an addiction counselor but I have skipped my last 2 appointments for intake.

- If you are currently in therapy of some kind, do you feel it helps you? How?
See above

- Are you currently taking medication to manage your BPD? (if yes, which ones?)
None

- Where do you feel your BPD 'came from'? (ie. runs in the family, trauma, abuse, neglect, don't know).
1) Childhood rape
2) Unstable living environment growing up (moved a lot)

- Are you currently in a relationship?
(If yes, do you have problems in that relationship because of your BPD? what kinds?)
No, I am in the middle of a divorce.

- Do you have a hard time keeping friends?
No, because I really don't make an effort to make them. I have people I talk to and when the mood strikes me I call them up and ask if I can stop over and see them for a little while. (The few close friends I do have)

- In 5 words or less, please describe yourself.

A Pain in the A.S.S.

- What is one thing you dislike the most about having BPD?

Rapid Mood Swings

- Does BPD conflict with your job/work/school?

Yes It does.

- Do you, or have you in the past, abused alcohol or substances?

Yes I have as a form of self medicating.

- Do you self-harm?

In the past I have
- Do you feel that this site helps you? (If yes, how?)
Yes it did.

- What is one thing you really like about yourself?
Nothing

Thanks for your answers ggtina

- How long have you known you've had Borderline Personality Disorder?

I was diagnosed about 2 years ago although ive known since my late teens that my symptoms fit the diagnosis.

- Do you suffer from other disorders/ mental illnesses in addition to BPD? (If yes, which ones?)

Paranoid Personality Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

- Do you feel that your traits have improved over time?

Actually yes but this has only occured more recently i feel.

- Are you currently in counselling, therapy, CBT or DBT? If yes, which ones?

I was in DBT but i quit.

- If you are currently in therapy of some kind, do you feel it helps you? How?

N/A

- Are you currently taking medication to manage your BPD? (if yes, which ones?)

No.

- Where do you feel your BPD 'came from'? (ie. runs in the family, trauma, abuse, neglect, don't know).

Childhood abuse/genetic predisposition.

- Are you currently in a relationship?
(If yes, do you have problems in that relationship because of your BPD? what kinds?)

I am in a relationship but my gf is so perfect for me that my symptoms are not so bad and if we do argue its rarely over my symptoms.

- Do you have a hard time keeping friends?

I would say so. Unless i get on with people well from the start and they keep up the level of effort that i put into the friendship, then usually everythings ok.

- In 5 words or less, please describe yourself.

Intense, forthright, knowledgable, curious, loving.

- What is one thing you dislike the most about having BPD?

The misconceptions about it - that we're 'manipulative' and deliberately selfish. It makes getting treatment a lot more difficult.

- Does BPD conflict with your job/work/school?

It did affect my school life as well as relationships at work but not to the point where i wouldn't go out to work or stop going to school.

- Do you, or have you in the past, abused alcohol or substances?

Yes.

- Do you self-harm?

Yes.

- Do you feel that this site helps you? (If yes, how?)

It helps me maintain contact with people even though i have agoraphobic tendencies, in terms of support i guess i don't really use it for that although i like helping others.

- What is one thing you really like about yourself?

My sense of humour.

Thanks bb, very honest answers.

[ggtina]

I was having a craptastic morning. Ah oh well. I finally got some sleep after being up for the last 3 days.

[gettingby]

- How long have you known you've had Borderline Personality Disorder?
I've always known something was up with me; my symptoms went beyond depression. Anyways, I've only known for a couple of months.
- Do you suffer from other disorders/ mental illnesses in addition to BPD? (If yes, which ones?)
Depression, I am on and off again bulimic but I guess that goes with self-harm. It isn't serious though, I've never had to be hospitalized. I have the most NON addictive personality ever!
- Do you feel that your traits have improved over time? Actually, now that I know I have this, I feel calmer than before.
- Are you currently in counselling, therapy, CBT or DBT? If yes, which ones? Nope, am hoping to once I get back to the Usa, I havent found treatment options here.

- If you are currently in therapy of some kind, do you feel it helps you? How?
N/A
- Are you currently taking medication to manage your BPD? (if yes, which ones?)
No, but I think I will need to.
- Where do you feel your BPD 'came from'? (ie. runs in the family, trauma, abuse, neglect, don't know).
So many different disorders in my family. My father is passive aggresive, my sister has anger issues, and my mother, I believe, shows signs of BPD.
It also has to do with my upbringing (see family), feeling very lonely, being nerdy thus kids making constant fun of me, and some other stuff.

- Are you currently in a relationship?
(If yes, do you have problems in that relationship because of your BPD? what kinds?)
Just ended a live-in relationship. I fear that I'm incapable of loving someone. I have no abandonment issues, but I have many many anger issues, thinking my bf's are stupid or unmotivated or what have you, that it effects the relationship.
- Do you have a hard time keeping friends?
Ive been with my best friend for almost 20 years. I make friends easily as I'm outgoing, funny, and friendly; but keeping them is different. I find faults in people. I think people are judging me. It sucks.

- In 5 words or less, please describe yourself.
Unique, curious, interesting, confused, lost...one more, indecisive
- What is one thing you dislike the most about having BPD?
Thinking that people are judging me, judging others, seeing negative in everything, the debilitating depression, the horrific rage, the panic attacks. Oops, more than one thing!
- Does BPD conflict with your job/work/school?
In college I changed my degree a bunch of times and although I just got a great job, I still dont know what I want to do. Ive had several different jobs in different fields. Im GOOD at my jobs, whatever they may be, but I just wish I knew what was meant for me. It makes for very uncomfortable job interviews!
- Do you, or have you in the past, abused alcohol or substances?
Nope. Just heavy drinking when I turned 21...vanished pretty quickly.
- Do you self-harm?
N/A
- Do you feel that this site helps you? (If yes, how?)
YES! So refreshing to read other people's accounts, to read that there are others like me. Also, its a great place for information and resources.
- What is one thing you really like about yourself?
I'm like an onion...full of layers!