This has put me to the point of crisis a number of times and I don't know if it's one of those BPD traits that others also struggle with or if it's something else.

I have extreme empathy, particularily for murder victims and victims of abuse or molestation or children who are abused by their parents. It's like I can feel what they do, envision exactly what they went through. I break out in a sweat and get that feeling of anxiety or panic in the pit of my stomach and I start visibly staking. I can't watch violent movies anymore because of this. It has gotten much, much worse as I've gotten older.

Also, when I hear someone is going thorough this now, I want to do anything to help them and my implusiveness has gotten me in to trouble on several occasions. A lot of times, there's no way I CAN help but that doesn't take away the need to want to help. I got in to this earlier. I earnestly wanted to call HIM, thinking maybe he could do something, but I knew it wasn't the right thing to do so I PMed a few people instead, kinda flipping out. Once I did that, I started my breathing and got under control and PMed those people back letting them know that my contacting them was completely impulsive and that I was okay.

This empathy is what got me in to trouble with this abandonment issue in the first place...it would never have happened if I hadn't felt empathetic. I go in to a situation to help and end up really messing myself up in the end.

Is there anyone who can relate? I know most of us had messed up childhoods which could be part of the reason for these feelings, and I'm assuming some of you can relate because of your chosen professions...I'm a teacher afterall, but I need to know for sure. This is one more thing I need to get under control.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

I go thru this too.

I feel for people so much (even though I don't know how to show it) that I experience similar symptoms.

I went thru this with Andy, my former bf.

Also, last spring, me and my roommate Bruce tried to help a homeless alcoholic and almost got ourselves evicted by our unstable landlord. We think our friend might be dead now. I just feel it psychically. Bruce thinks, as usual, that I am "nuts" because there is no "logic" to this.

But I don't feel the same energy since John left us. I really think he's dead.

So you can imagine what I go thru when I feel a live human being in pain!

thanks,

Carol

I feel overwhelming empathy as well. It gets me into some other messy feelings. Anxiety being one of them -- which also shows up in the form of panic attacks. The shakes, trouble breathing, hyperventilating, pain in my chest, dizziness. Also despair, I fall into despair when my empathy gets too deeply involved.

I think, that if BPD is caused by long-term and frequent subtle trauma, that it is a long-term variation of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) manifest in our 'personality'. This could explain the anxiety and depression involved. It could also explain why I revert back to old habits that perhaps gave me comfort (calling someone who empathized with my pain for instance) when I become extremely empathetic and react to that.

Just remember to keep yourself safe and in a healthy place. If we don't have our own safety or health, we can't help someone else or even give any empathy at all.

Originally Posted by stratocaster

It could also explain why I revert back to old habits that perhaps gave me comfort (calling someone who empathized with my pain for instance) when I become extremely empathetic and react to that.

That's probably why HE was the first person I thought of contacting. Despite all that happened, at one point, he DID do what he could to help me.....

[Onward2wards]

I feel enormously strong empathy at times. I have found that if I do something constructive with it, channel it into a rational attempt at making the world a better place in a reasonable way, it turns into a genuine asset and vastly improves my mood.

When I either question it, assume there's nothing I can do, or conversely get too enmeshed in other people's problems (an issue I see many here implying), that's when I get pretty distressed. What I'm saying is, the world could use more of it, but it is possible to allow it to either overwhelm your rational judgment or else to stuff it down way too much just because others don't "get it". Either extreme is emotionally damaging, in my experience.

One thing I will NOT do, is ever allow anyone to make me feel awkward or foolish for my sensitivity again.

Originally Posted by Onward2wards

I feel enormously strong empathy at times. I have found that if I do something constructive with it, channel it into a rational attempt at making the world a better place in a reasonable way, it turns into a genuine asset and vastly improves my mood.

When I either question it, assume there's nothing I can do, or conversely get too enmeshed in other people's problems (an issue I see many here implying), that's when I get pretty distressed. What I'm saying is, the world could use more of it, but it is possible to allow it to either overwhelm your rational judgment or else to stuff it down way too much just because others don't "get it". Either extreme is emotionally damaging, in my experience.

One thing I will NOT do, is ever allow anyone to make me feel awkward or foolish for my sensitivity again.

Thank you, Onward. I'm just relieved to know I'm not alone. You are much farther along in the healing process than me, but being here and expressing my feelings and working on understanding them are baby steps in the right direction.