[BrokenNBeautiful]

Caught a very nasty cold AGAIN. I feel like I just got over the other one this summer! Right on October 1, my throat started hurting. Bruce just got it today.

I'm getting over it, but you know how we pwbpd's are. I am impatient and restless and BORED.

Ani wants to take me somewhere, but I need to rest. I"m scared of getting worse.

Convalescence.

Sorry if I am not reading anyone tonight.

But I wanted to check in and tell everyone I miss them.

Carol (Billi)

Feel better B,

[BrokenNBeautiful]

I appreciate the ones who responded.

I don' tknow why some others didn't. Some people here that I really cared about that I expected to answer this post did not. Okay, I understand, we're sick. But I am scared I made them angry or disappointed them.

This is why this group is so good; when one person is not there, maybe someone else will be. I am sorry I was not here. But I was ill. I do appreciate the ones who are here, who do answer, who do understand that this is an illness, we are not bad ppl.

I hope I did not make anyone mad by not reading their posts or being on here.

I got sick.

I am sorry.

Carol

[LostMom3]

sorry you feel bad. Hope you feel better soon. Change in weather make you sick maybe? About my time of year to get colds, flu, strp throat, bronchitis, or whatever it is the kids bring home, lol

[BrokenNBeautiful]

thanks Lost.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

I am still not quite well.

Had to stay in another day.

Bummer.

I feel like Rip Van Winkle again.

Carol

[Stormy Seas]

Hugs , Hope you feel better soon !

((((hugs))))

Hope that you feel better soon

It's cool B, glad you're back and you're here..I'm pretty sure you haven't upset anyone

[anneo59]

Originally Posted by BrokenNBeautiful

Caught a very nasty cold AGAIN. I feel like I just got over the other one this summer! Right on October 1, my throat started hurting. Bruce just got it today.

I'm getting over it, but you know how we pwbpd's are. I am impatient and restless and BORED.

Ani wants to take me somewhere, but I need to rest. I"m scared of getting worse.

Convalescence.

Sorry if I am not reading anyone tonight.

But I wanted to check in and tell everyone I miss them.

Carol (Billi)

Just my two cents! I have noticed how much the mental/emotional and physical are linked, and I know there's a lot of creditable research on this. However, although myself new to this site, even if very busy or not well, I usually feel better after coming on here, whether reaching out or trying to help, or even just lurking a bit. The best to you and all! Hope you keep feeling better!

how are you doing now?

hope better?

[LizzieVale]

Hugs and hope your feeling much better now xxx

[BrokenNBeautiful]

thanks everyone.

I got worse again; that's why I haven't been on.

Throat started really hurting again, h ead hurts, stopped up.

And no medical care. I am on their database; "Untreatable" "BPD" "Psychiatric" "Attention seeking/manipulative".

So I am on my own, using a lot of spiritual healing (Reiki) and resting.

I appreciate you guys' kind words.

I also have not still heard from someone that I cared about recently in my life. And I am now going to let it go.

I don't mean to be selfish.

They can work thru whatever it is. I am still a little afraid they are mad at me and I still cannot wrap myself around what I might have done.

I need to work thru my issues now, not theirs. I only know what people tell me.

I do understand that psychological/physical link. And I sometimes think that my worrying about what I do to people contributes very much to that.

Ani is making me read Alanon literature to learn detachment. My roommat is not an alcoholic, but he does have some issues that I have to be careful not to make mine.

I am not responsible for anyone's problems even though I am observant of their behavior.

thanks,

Carol

[Flooded]

I'm borderline () pneumonia for the second time in a few months. It feels pretty good to be borderline something-else for a change

Originally Posted by BrokenNBeautiful

My roommat is not an alcoholic, but he does have some issues that I have to be careful not to make mine.

Hey B,

Hope you feel better soon. May I suggest, even though it may taste disgusting, a tablespoon of raw, unfiltered apple cider vinegar in hot water with honey -- do it a few times a day until your cold is gone. (You may have to choke it down --but it's worked for me.)

Also, I make other peoples' issues my own, too --and quite a lot. DBT helps with some of the codependent type stuff, but I also have found that some of the CodA (Codependents Anonymous) literature has been helpful. I enjoy one published by Hazelden called 'The Language of Letting Go' by Beattie. It gives a daily reading. A lot of it focuses on self-care. It has definitely helped in separating what is my stuff and what is someone elses. What can I change and what can't I?

I don't relate to being a full-blown codependent, but the literature is really helpful, maybe you can find some use from it too - especially if you're used to 12 steps. The Alanon readings are pretty great too for this IMO.
Best wishes and feel better soon.

[i'm trying]

hope you are feeling a bit better today B

[BrokenNBeautiful]

thanks again everyone who responded.

Again, have not heard from someone.

Ugh. Ouch.

It does hurt.

But it's not my problem; if I did not know what I did and they don't even bother telling me and just plain ignore me, it really isn't my problem. This takes me back to when I have been on the other end of things---totally not having any room to consider how someone might be feeling.

One example: My aunt and friend broke into my apartment in 1999 because they were afraid I was dead! I had been avoiding talking to them for a whole month just because I did not want them to see me looking bad depressed! I had them worried SICK. My aunt's face was literally gray!

Goes to show when someone can keep up a connection, it takes a lot of bravery and you never know---a frienship or some sanity might be saved!

I hate bpd---what it does to me and to people I love. And yes! Gd it! Pwbpd's can love!

My throat still hurts.

thanks,

Carol