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#1
Nov 05, 2012, 08:33 AM
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Be obsessed with my therapist
Fight the therapeutic relationship or therapy Hide how I'm feeling but its painful to talk about Idealize then a split second later, devalue Lay down conditions like I'll go to therapy IF t replies to my email but won't go if she doesn't Be a mean parent Hate having people staying/visiting my home because this is MY family and don't you dare try to take it from me but I am/do 
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 AngelWolf3, Anonymous12111009, bpd2, BrokenNBeautiful, katje, MDDBPDPTSD, ruby.lestrange
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 AngelWolf3, BrokenNBeautiful
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#2
Nov 05, 2012, 12:14 PM
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Quote:
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#3
Nov 05, 2012, 06:43 PM
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I also empathize.
Carol
__________________
The idea of a soul mate is an ILLUSION. In reality, we must learn to be our own best friend/partner. Then if love comes to us, we will already be whole. All that love can do, at that point, is enhance our wholeness!  |
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#4
Nov 05, 2012, 06:59 PM
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I feel like a freak
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| BrokenNBeautiful
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#5
Nov 07, 2012, 01:26 AM
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I've cancelled my next two appts. I just can't deal with going right now.
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#6
Nov 07, 2012, 01:51 AM
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I understand. Sometimes, I feel so yucky that I do not even want to go outside period. Not to the store or even my own mailbox.
I do encourage you to give it your best effort to get to your therapy appts. Maybe she if you can talk to your therapist over the phone about the challenges you are having in going to your appts.
__________________
Practicing being here now. |
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#7
Nov 07, 2012, 02:27 AM
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So. It goes like this for me:
Me: "I don't even know what I'm doing here/I don't want to keep disappointing you/I'd rather be anywhere but here (today)/I keep screwing up." T: "All you have to do is keep showing up. That's what you can control. Don't try to control therapy or me or what you think I'm thinking. Just show up." So, that's what you can do, too, right? Show up. Do what you can. This time, next time, time after time. Just show up. 
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#8
Nov 07, 2012, 04:28 AM
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Thanks for your support. I've been in quite a crappy place for the last few months and just haven't felt able to give any support to anyone so haven't been here for awhile.
Nice to know I can come back and share, so thanks I will email t and fess up 
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#9
Nov 07, 2012, 05:27 AM
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Quote:
awww... you're no freak. hugs |
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#10
Nov 07, 2012, 10:45 AM
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Yeah you're no freak. In fact I'd go so far as saying in this circle you're part of the norm!
I totally understand how you feel. |
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#11
Nov 07, 2012, 10:43 PM
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My t was her usual understanding, awesome self. Not sure why I'm worried about her reaction all the time.
I feel like I'm being swallowed by darkness. |
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