[Xanmac]

I was diagnosed with BPD and clinical depression 20 years ago, and I'm usually pretty stable.

What the crux of my problem is, is the infamous grey area. To make this blissfully short for you guys, I'll summarize.

If someone knows what your triggers are, yet purposely sets those triggers off, does that constitute a form of emotional abuse? It's like they are poking me with a stick, to get me to freak out, when I do, they are all "see ya later", then come back a few months later with the "I'm sorry".

It's just very confusing.

[Flooded]

I *think* its called gas lighting and yes, emotional abuse. What a revolting thing to do

That is abuse, yes. How horrible!

[BrokenNBeautiful]

[quote=Xanmac;2695378]

If someone knows what your triggers are, yet purposely sets those triggers off, does that constitute a form of emotional abuse? quote]

Purposely? To me, that's abuse. To me.

I had a neighbor who was like that; he saw me si'ing once and said, "I oughta give you a hammer."

Carol

yeah that is horrible. I grew up with a brother that would do things to get me going and then point his finger at me for being emotional and laugh. It's absolutely abuse when it's intentional and considering that I wouldn't even allow them the satisfaction of returning to say "I'm sorry". I haven't talked to my brother in 10 years.

[homeostasis]

I think the last straw was when my brother and his partner came to visit... and his partner is supposedly a mental health worker. When I tried to open up about my fears with BPD, the kept playing their iPad game, and pretty much ignored anything I had to say.

That blew up any preconceptions I had about their genuinely caring for me, and thusly they are no longer privy to that part of me. *shrugs*

[shortandcute]

Originally Posted by Xanmac

I was diagnosed with BPD and clinical depression 20 years ago, and I'm usually pretty stable.

What the crux of my problem is, is the infamous grey area. To make this blissfully short for you guys, I'll summarize.

If someone knows what your triggers are, yet purposely sets those triggers off, does that constitute a form of emotional abuse? It's like they are poking me with a stick, to get me to freak out, when I do, they are all "see ya later", then come back a few months later with the "I'm sorry".

It's just very confusing.

I would count that as emotional abuse; I never thought of that, but I think you are right. Before I ever got Dx'd, my family knew I had certain "triggers" that would set me off, and they would always purposely provoke me-then get mad at me for getting triggered! Even my own mother would do that to me--she was (and still is) a practicing alcoholic and is/was narcissistic and wanted to "prove" to everyone what a horrible child I was (she was mad at me for having the audacity to be born). My younger brother used to do that also because he knew I would be the one to get into trouble; my mom favored him and I was "in the way" so to speak. He would egg me on until I flew into such a rage that I would severely beat him and/or throw stuff at him-like glass objects, statuettes, and the like-then I would get into trouble. During my last two years of high school, my sister and her husband were my legal guardians, and by this time, I was VERY DEFENSIVE! They wanted to "teach me a lesson" about being so defensive, so they constantly try to provoke me and trigger me, so they could punish me for getting so mad. My first husband had rape fantasies, and he knew I was easily provoked, so he would do it so he could have an excuse to beat me, then force me to have sex with him. It was awful.
My mom stayed with me for a few months last year, and she wanted to get me and my sister arrested for elder abuse because she thought we had some kind of conspiracy against her. She would run my sister ragged, getting her to do all this stuff for her--it was way beyond reason--until my sister would crack. Then my mom would claim that she wasnt doing enuff for her and threaten to turn her in for elder abuse. Then she kept trying to pick fites with me, knowing I would blow up, so she could do the same to me.

So, yeah, I think you're right!