[BrokenNBeautiful]

on here under "Survivors of Abuse". It's called "Ethics".

I don't want to post this again here because it's a long one and I am so upset I can barely type.

Something horrible happened to me yesterday.

I posted on Survivors and did not get much response.

NOTE: When you read it, please try to focus on me and not on the other ppl. I am not in the mood right now to be philosophical. Someone did somethign unethical to me. Also, I recommend that survivors on here read this, I need empathy on this and understanding and validation. I realize not everyone on this board is a survivor. If you are not one, please at least do your best to be validating. I am not feeling very strong right now.

thanks,

Carol

[MDDBPDPTSD]

What a horrible experience! I think reporting this would be a good idea. I agree that the more subtle ones get away with more. That is why I would report this incident. The more reports against an individual, the more likely someone in authority will take the accusations seriously. Whether you are reporter number 1 or reporter number 8, it is important to report this person. If you are reporter number one, then she may be able to get the authority to believe her that it was just a misunderstanding. But, when number 2 and then 3 come along, people will take it more seriously. On the other hand, if you are reporter number 8, you may the one who stops her from hurting others in the future and you may see some form of justice.

I am angry at her and sad for you.

I am proud of you that you got out of there right away. I visit PC sporadically and I have not been here for much of your journey to healing, but I think the choice to leave right away was what you had to do to take care of you, which is very healthy. I commend you for that.

I also commend you for reaching out here. Something like this is usually not talked about at all. I am glad you are taking away its power by talking about it. When we refuse to cover up the abuse and bring light to the darkness, the darkness must flee.

Prayers sent your way.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

I went on yelp and gave them a review, telling what happened.

I want ppl to know and to support me.

Also, there are many more good reviews on this place. I feel like I stick out. But I know my truth.

I hope no one will retaliate. I told that I would not respond to "owner comments" (businesses' rebuttals) unless they agreed with me and apologized to me.

This was a shock even to me.

I am very disappointed in them.

As a recovering pwbpd, I feel very self-conscious about complaining or running away.

But I had to run that night. She was physically after me: "Carol! What's wrong? What's wrong?" The therapist. I was too upset to talk to her. and I did not want her debating with me about what she did or didn't do!

Carol

[BrokenNBeautiful]

I also wrote to the clinic and told them what she did. On the subject line, I said, "This is between management and me. No one else must read this. PRIVATE information."

Carol

[MDDBPDPTSD]

Good for you. I am glad you are doing such a great job of taking care of yourself.

[Trees_Words]

I am a survivor as well and I can't tell you how many times life has thrown the trigger at me. As an attractive woman it seems to make you a magnet. It seems to be so much worse though when it happens in a place where you are supposed to be safe. I feel for you from the depths of my heart love. and more

Reporting is good, I wouldn't go back to that place either!

As for coping it might seem weird or be wrong according to some people or therapies but thinking that these things happen because I am beautiful and attractive and draw attention gives me a point of pride to stand against the shame and hurt. I also, always, remember the power of karma. Abusers will get their own, if not in this life than the next.

Keep your head up sweetheart, remember, you're a SURVIVOR! and a brave strong one obviously to talk about these things in the open!

and understanding

Tree

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Originally Posted by Trees_Words

I am a survivor as well and I can't tell you how many times life has thrown the trigger at me. As an attractive woman it seems to make you a magnet. It seems to be so much worse though when it happens in a place where you are supposed to be safe. I feel for you from the depths of my heart love. and more

Reporting is good, I wouldn't go back to that place either!

As for coping it might seem weird or be wrong according to some people or therapies but thinking that these things happen because I am beautiful and attractive and draw attention gives me a point of pride to stand against the shame and hurt. I also, always, remember the power of karma. Abusers will get their own, if not in this life than the next.

Keep your head up sweetheart, remember, you're a SURVIVOR! and a brave strong one obviously to talk about these things in the open!

and understanding

Tree

thanks tree

I have learned that s8x*al abuse is an offense in rage, not physical attraction. It can even be called a hate crime. So I don't believe it has to do with attraction. Babies get abused, old ladies get abused, unattractive ones get abused. Men, too. It's because the perp believes they can and because they believe they somehow have a right to get something for themselves only for themselves.

If someone is attracted to you, they still need to control themselves and show it in a better way in an appropriate context.

thanks again,

Carol

[shezbut]

I can certainly understand your discomfort and anger towards the massage therapist as well as the business management! I'm a survivor as well and have had professional massages a few times. Most went very well, appropriate and comfortable. My last massage wasn't that helpful though.

I was very emotionally uncomfortable as she practically made the room pitch-black with a creepy candle glowing; sprayed cologne into the air; and then massaged me very long and hard. I was just dying to get up and leave! Instead, I ended up counting down. "Okay, she's on the legs now, it can't be much longer.." I certainly won't go back to her for another massage!

I need some light, a more gentle massage style, and let me decide on the areas I'd like the focus on (avoiding 1 or 2 areas).

Very gentle hugs to you, Carol. We're paying for a service that we are supposed to be enjoying, not one in which we feel that we're being beaten or rubbed inappropriately! We have every right to speak up when those needs aren't being met. Right?

[BrokenNBeautiful]

I found another massage place that I will try out this Wednesday. I will let you all know how it goes.

Carol