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Junior Member
Member Since Dec 2012
Posts: 9
11 |
#1
All I want is attention. I want someone to take care of me and hold me. I was doing so well! Then my emotionally abusive ex boyfriend came over. And we had sex. Afterwards I felt so ashamed and disgusted. Not only did I stick a finger down my throat to purge. I also cut myself till I bled with my shaver. I already posted on the bulimic and self injury thread. But, this also comes down to my BPD. I want to cut more. And, I also already purged more. I've been telling my friends. It is as if I crave the attention. I want to hear them care for me. I want to know they are there. But I am just going to make them angry and worried if I keep this up. I don't want to stop. What is happening to me? I was never like this... It's like relationships turn me into something I cannot even recognize...
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Grand Member
Member Since Feb 2012
Location: Some where
Posts: 851
12 2 hugs
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#2
Yes this is def signs BPD,
Big hugs to you cos I was here so yesterday! But you will find the strength some how. The fact that you recognise your behaviour is a start. Are you seeing a t at the moment? |
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Junior Member
Member Since Dec 2012
Posts: 9
11 |
#3
Thank you so much for the support. It's hard to find people that can understand and relate without yelling at me :/ I do have a therapist. But because of Christmas and New Years I won't see her until Jan 11th. I sent her an e-mail though.
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Posts: n/a
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#4
I've never cut or purged but have found numerous other ways to hurt myself. Drank until I got sick, pinched or scratched myself leaving big bruises or welts behind. Most of us have been in the self-injury frame of mind, one way or another....
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